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[Update!] Project Amber
Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
avatar

Quote:

Hey, now I'm a bit worried about Deathwish.

I'm still alive.

There's a lot to cover, so I'll just brush on the highlights (which is actually quite a bit!).

Thursday, I saw Amber at work and said, "How are you Amber?" And she said, "Better." I thought, "Better? Better than what?" I said, "What?" She chuckled and then said she was doing good. And when I got home and walked in the door it hit me like a brick to face "OH!!!" (:o), she meant "Better (now, that, you're here)." So "Hell freaking yeah!" I thought.

But rewind! After work I'm standing outside my car. Amber walked by to leave and I asked her out.-- And she glady said "Yes"! I was so happy. We planned to do something Sunday.

Come Saturday, I saw her again. I mentioned while talking to her that I found out I had to work Sunday. She said concerned, "When?" I told her "Just till 6 (PM)" and she said "Oh" with a relief and continued, "Well that's okay, I have to visit my Dad Sunday anyway."

Well, come Sunday, I got off work. Skipping a few things, I called her. And guess what happened? No really, I want you to guess before proceding. Are you ready yet? Yes? No... I'll give you one more moment. Okay, how about now? Abso-freaking-lotety nothing. She didn't answer her phone. So at that point I went home and took a shower and called her again. Well, by the entire nature of this thread, I won't be raising any eyebrows when I tell you... (oh my God!) I got her voicemail. Again. I figured I would and planned in advance what I'd say. I basically said "Hey Amber, I thought we were doing something tonight. If something happened that's cool, but if you don't call me back I'm just going to assume you don't want to do anything." I was pissed off but I still wanted to be a man about it (and given my somewhat-new significant spirituality) so finished with, "May God bless you in everything you do. Have a good night." --And I meant it.

Now, forward to today: I saw her at school, talking with a friend at a table. Except this time, when she heard my voice (talking to someone else), she didn't greet me with that beautiful smile of hers. She just made sure not to look my way. Which said all I needed to hear as far as whether she got the message or not.

And that's where I am now. The current plan is to say to her next time I see her (and not a moment later), "Amber, now I've just got one question. / Why would you say... on at least three occasions that you want to do something... if you didn't want to do anything?" I'm not going to leave it to the air. I won't be an asshat, but I'm going to confront her on that. I'm sick of avoiding confrontation.

Heck, at this point, I doubt I'd date her even if she changed her mind. I deserve better. Heck, I feel good on a strange level. I feel good that other opportunities are open now--I'm not in limbo with Amber, I have my answer. I feel good that I worked hard for what I wanted--I tried. I feel good that I've felt something that can make me feel so bad--as opposed to this colorless mundane I've come somewhat accustom too. And I feel good knowing that it's not my fault. I didn't mislead anyone. "Fuck it. Life goes on, and it's still damn good to the last drop."

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs
"Political Correctness is fascism disguised as manners" --George Carlin

Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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Haha, you fool. You never cancel for any reason! She would have treated you the same even if your mom had died. But if you don't cancel, then you'll get in trouble for skipping work / your mom's funeral. They stay up all night coming up with lose-lose scenarios like that. :-X

BAF
Member #2,981
December 2002
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Good for you (in deciding that you deserve better) and congratulations on actually making the move. I wish you better luck in future encounters with other females.

HardTranceFan
Member #7,317
June 2006
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Chris,

Well done on asking her out in the first place. Although it eventually lead to nothing, you now have overcome that initial hurdle, and it should be easier for the next time.

Her reaction to you the day after is curious. Maybe she too is a bit shy? Good luck in finding out why she didn't reply on Sunday. Perhaps asking her will let her get her side out, and there could be a very reasonable explanation. Or maybe not. Looking forward to your update.

--
"Shame your mind don't shine like your possessions do" - Faithless (I want more part 1)

piccolo
Member #3,163
January 2003
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"May God bless you in everything you do. Have a good night." :o your trying to marry her. no no no. ill tell you strate. This girl is playing games with you.
reasons:

1. she is being ignored by some guy she likes and is using the attention you give her as away to bounce back on her feet.

or

2. She is being led by her friends to do things such as what she id doing.

she is lucky your not me i wound have her on her keens begging to go out.

dude listen to me we can make this girl pay if she is doing reasons #2 i can get you get her and her friends get in to a fight and you can even get with the friend if you want.

i read your post about talking to the other girl and she was around. you have what it takes to do this. just by the fact that you can talk normally with other girls.

the first part of the plan is to pretend like your not mad. if you act mad she will feed on it. next get the pownage maze. pown a different girl with it when shes is around. she dose not have to see but she must hear the other girl scream and you and the other girl laughing.

wow
-------------------------------
i am who you are not am i

Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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Figure out the difference between "your" and "you're" really soon. Then work on your capital letters.

le_y_mister
Member #8,250
January 2007

For the A.D.H.D crowd, here's the summary

Quote:

Well, come Sunday, I got off work. Skipping a few things, I called her. And guess what happened? No really, I want you to guess before proceding. Are you ready yet? Yes? No... I'll give you one more moment. Okay, how about now? Abso-freaking-lotety nothing. She didn't answer her phone. So at that point I went home and took a shower and called her again. Well, by the entire nature of this thread, I won't be raising any eyebrows when I tell you... (oh my God!) I got her voicemail.

you can figure out the rest.

Indeterminatus
Member #737
November 2000
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Quote:

I'm sick of avoiding confrontation.

That's the spirit! Go to the mattresses!

_______________________________
Indeterminatus. [Atomic Butcher]
si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses

le_y_mister
Member #8,250
January 2007

this thread is quite bad

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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Quote:

what happened to all the hate and rivalry?

Apparantly you left. :P

HardTranceFan
Member #7,317
June 2006
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Yves, try this one - most here think the advice imparted is priceless.

--
"Shame your mind don't shine like your possessions do" - Faithless (I want more part 1)

le_y_mister
Member #8,250
January 2007

OP you should print out this thread and give it to her.

...actually dont.

Sevalecan
Member #4,686
June 2004
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Quote:

For the A.D.H.D crowd, here's the summary

I supposedly have ADHD and I read the whole thing attentively. What are you getting at?

Good job, Deathwish. Now impart some of your new found power to me.

TeamTerradactyl: SevalecanDragon: I should shoot you for even CONSIDERING coding like that, but I was ROFLing too hard to stand up. I love it!
My blog about computer nonsense, etc.

Dennis
Member #1,090
July 2003
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Quote:

Amber: "Well that's okay, I have to visit my Dad Sunday anyway." [..] Well, come Sunday, I got off work. [..] And guess what happened? [..] Abso-freaking-lotety nothing. She didn't answer her phone.

She was visiting her dad. I don't think that she was doing anything evil to you on purpose. That voicemail you left her makes you look insecure, in my opinion.
(I followed the two preceeding threads.)

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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I agree with Dennis.

Matthew Dalrymple
Member #7,922
October 2006
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This thread is in dire need of pictures. Please post with pictures of her, pictures of you, pictures of her with you (obviously photoshoped). Pictures of both of you at the grand canyon, the Eiffel tower, the coliseum in Rome, and the great wall in china. Put a lot of effort into the photoshoping,... then show these pictures to her.. tell her.. "What about the good times.. when we just traveled..." Then say "Oh well your loss" Then kick her in the nuts because she's obviously a man.

=-----===-----===-----=
I like signatures that only the signer would understand. Inside jokes are always the best, because they exclude everyone else.

kentl
Member #2,905
November 2002

Even if she is a Christian person the "May God bless you in everything you do. Have a good night." may be a bit too much don't you think? It's more of a farewell message you can give when you're sure you won't ever see her again. Now you're seeing her most times you go to work.

It sounds like Dennis Busch is on to something. Did you really still have a date after that conversation about work and her dad?

Apart from that. Good for you that you're set out to move on! There is a lot of fish in the sea. It's always darkest before the dawn. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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He didn't have a date if he thought he did, but he did if he didn't. That's not too hard to understand!

Evert
Member #794
November 2000
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Well done on asking her out.

Now then,

Quote:

"Hey Amber, I thought we were doing something tonight. If something happened that's cool, but if you don't call me back I'm just going to assume you don't want to
do anything."

You don't just assume she wants to do anything! You assume that she wants to do something with you, and you tell her to call you back if it's ok to meet there and there to confirm the time. You are the male, you call the shots. I know it sounds sexist and over-the-top, but it's how the game is normally played.
And you were doing so well up until this point!

Quote:

"May God bless you in everything you do. Have a good night."

Gosh, that's really really really over the top. I know you said you meant it sincerely, but I would only say something like that (well, I wouldn't, obviously, being atheist) if I'm really parting from someone for ever.
Effectively, to me, what you said to her was, "hey, I thought we were going out. Guess not. Boodbye then, never want to talk to you again."

Quote:

I got her voicemail.

I hate getting people's voicemail. It can be worse though: years ago, there was a girl I wanted to ask out. So I called her (that took a lot of effort). Voicemail immediately. Dang, hung up. Tried again half an hour later. Voicemail. Hung up. Hmm... no, wait, maybe I should leave a message just to get it out of me. Called again. Voicemail. Hung up quickly to rehearse the message. Call again. ring ring "Hello?" "..."
What I did wrong here: I should have left a short message on her voicemail the first time (you did this right), or: I should not have thought so hard about what message to leave and how it would come across (you might have wanted to think a bit more about this one). Above all, I should not have been caught off-guard when she did answer the phone, but I was.

jhuuskon
Member #302
April 2000
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You do realise that when she googles your ass and finds this forum and these threads there will be hell to pay? :)

You don't deserve my sig.

Richard Phipps
Member #1,632
November 2001
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That's assuming Chris Katko is his real name. ;)

axilmar
Member #1,204
April 2001

Why don't you save your time and effort by just going and ask her out? a sincere approach is the best in the long term.

miran
Member #2,407
June 2002

Quote:

You do realise that when she googles your ass and finds this forum and these threads there will be hell to pay?

Lets try to think like a girl for a moment:

1. My name is Amber and there's this Chris Katko guy that I kind of like.
2. I wonder if he likes me.
3. Maybe uncle google knows.
4. I'll ask him: "does chris katko love amber?"
5. Profit!

--
sig used to be here

kentl
Member #2,905
November 2002

Or:

1. She Googles "chris katko" and gets http://www.allegro.cc/members/ChrisKatko as the first result.
2. Then she clicks Forums and sees her name in the "Recent Posts".
3. Profit!

Kauhiz
Member #4,798
July 2004

Quote:

3. Profit!

But for whom?...

---
It's Ridge Racer! RIIIIIDGE RAAAAACER!



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