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[Update!] Project Amber
HoHo
Member #4,534
April 2004
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Guess what is the first result on google for does chris katko love amber ;D

Anyway, good to see you actually did something and got some experience.

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LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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Quote:

Why don't you save your time and effort by just going and ask her out?

Um... he did. Here's the parapgraph where he mentions it:

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But rewind! After work I'm standing outside my car. Amber walked by to leave and I asked her out.-- And she glady said "Yes"! I was so happy. We planned to do something Sunday.

Richard Phipps
Member #1,632
November 2001
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If she really was interested, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss her (even though I know your feelings have been hurt). I'd try to find out what happened and see if she still wants to meet up..

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
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Quote:

You don't just assume she wants to do anything! You assume that she wants to do something with you, and you tell her to call you back if it's ok to meet there and there to confirm the time. You are the male, you call the shots. I know it sounds sexist and over-the-top, but it's how the game is normally played.
And you were doing so well up until this point!

No. Screw it. Do you know how many times and how much energy I spend toward this girl? I've probably called her phone 7 times and she has never called me back (or even answered!). Complete strangers call back if they get a missed call, she however does not. And I asked her out, in person, on three occasions.

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Gosh, that's really really really over the top. I know you said you meant it sincerely, but I would only say something like that (well, I wouldn't, obviously, being atheist) if I'm really parting from someone for ever.
Effectively, to me, what you said to her was, "hey, I thought we were going out. Guess not. Boodbye then, never want to talk to you again."

I don't care. I meant it scincerly. If she's offended by God, I don't need to date her because that's one aspect of my life I will not be ashamed off. God has gotten me through too much for that. Secondly, I was pretty much under the impression that she doesn't want to do anything at the time. Now, I'm not so sure I care either way.

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Guess what is the first result on google for does chris katko love amber [google.com] ;D

I'd think she'd be flattered that I care(d) enough about her to ask for people's advice. But at this point, "whatever" in either case.

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs
"Political Correctness is fascism disguised as manners" --George Carlin

Sevalecan
Member #4,686
June 2004
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Quote:

Complete strangers call back if they get a missed call.

I don't know about that, speaking from the complete stranger perspective.. When I first got my cell phone I kept getting calls from people I didn't know. Of course, I didn't return any of them(Hell, I didn't even answer them.. call me rude)... My mom did return one of them for me though. ::)

TeamTerradactyl: SevalecanDragon: I should shoot you for even CONSIDERING coding like that, but I was ROFLing too hard to stand up. I love it!
My blog about computer nonsense, etc.

Richard Phipps
Member #1,632
November 2001
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Don't you text people with your phones over there?

jhuuskon
Member #302
April 2000
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Wikipedia says:

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In the US, SMS is often charged both at the sender and at the destination, but it cannot be rejected or dismissed, as opposed to the phone calls.

WTF?!

You don't deserve my sig.

Evert
Member #794
November 2000
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Quote:

I meant it scincerly.

I know. That's not the issue.

Quote:

If she's offended by God, I don't need to date her because that's one aspect of my life I will not be ashamed off. God has gotten me through too much for that.

I wouldn't know if she's offended by you mentioning god or not. It also doesn't matter, because bringing god into it has nothing to do with it. What matters is that that closing was way over the top. It would sound like "I never want to see you again".

Remember, you can mean well, but if the message doesn't come across well, what you intended to say is irrelevant.

EDIT:

Quote:

I don't know about that, speaking from the complete stranger perspective.. When I first got my cell phone I kept getting calls from people I didn't know.

I've returned calls to numbers I didn't know a couple of times. It usually turned out to be someone I knew calling from a phone number I didn't know.

EDIT2:
Charging the receiving party of an SMS is just... wrong.

OICW
Member #4,069
November 2003
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Quote:

I'm still alive.

Good to hear ;)

Quote:

Guess what is the first result on google for does chris katko love amber [google.com] ;D

Don't even do this again, I've almost fell off my chair. ;D

Anyway to be on-topic. Congrats for overcoming your shyness and asking her. The issue was that she told you that she's going to visit dad on sunday, and I think that she assumed that you'd understand that the deal is over for that day - as Dennis pointed out. So I think that you've hurt her feelings by that voicemail.

So now I've got two advices, one from my own expirience and another describing what I'd do in this situation - because it's not lost.
1) Go up next to her and tell her, that you have some unfinished bussiness. Apology for that voicemail, tell her how you've meant that and that you seem not to have understood, that she meant it's over. Do not let her go easy - yes she looks angry, but I'm sure that if you talk with her about that it'll be ok.

2) When writing a SMS or leaving voicemail think about it. Think about it from the view of the receiver, think if this phrase cannot be understood in other way that you mean it - if so, rephrase it.

[My website][CppReference][Pixelate][Allegators worldwide][Who's online]
"Final Fantasy XIV, I feel that anything I could say will be repeating myself, so I'm just gonna express my feelings with a strangled noise from the back of my throat. Graaarghhhh..." - Yahtzee
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Kauhiz
Member #4,798
July 2004

jhuuskon said:

WTF?!

Agreed.

Evert said:

What matters is that that closing was way over the top. It would sound like "I never want to see you again".

Yup, until I read that part of the OP, I thought it went rather well. That just ruined it, though. Also, I agree, you should confront her, but be sure not to seem too hostile or anything - after all, you do work with her, so even if you're not interested anymore, you should at least try to remain friendly.

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I'd think she'd be flattered that I care(d) enough about her to ask for people's advice.

You think she'd be flattered that you asked a bunch of socially inept guys (and piccolo) advise on dating!? k...

Edit: Maybe that's it. Maybe she knows about the posts you made here, and is just toying with you. If the next time you talk to her she says "I feel so hot and sex right now for internet sex", just run... and never look back!

---
It's Ridge Racer! RIIIIIDGE RAAAAACER!

piccolo
Member #3,163
January 2003
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hey thats king piccolo. and he never did what i said or this would have turned out differently. Google powns all Google will be the death of me.

edit: It seems that its not wise for me to give advise on here Google compromisers the whole project and can even mess up some of my own projects.

wow
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i am who you are not am i

Richard Phipps
Member #1,632
November 2001
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Well, what text or voice message would you have left on her phone Piccolo?

Kauhiz
Member #4,798
July 2004

Why, a freestyle rapping one, of course!

---
It's Ridge Racer! RIIIIIDGE RAAAAACER!

piccolo
Member #3,163
January 2003
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i don't leave voice messages. rule number 1. don't wait more then 2-3 rings if you don't intended to leave a voice message. if they are expecting a call from u there phone will be near to them.

You should have. blocked your number and called or called from a pay phone.

wow
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i am who you are not am i

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
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Oh my God. You bastards!

You mean to say that she might have meant "I can't do anything Sunday?" And I just made a absolute complete asshole of myself?

Oh my gosh. I hate you all so much, and I hate myself even more.

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs
"Political Correctness is fascism disguised as manners" --George Carlin

Richard Phipps
Member #1,632
November 2001
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Yes, that's what we were trying to tell you!! >:(

You could still apologise to her and explain what happened.

Sevalecan
Member #4,686
June 2004
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Quote:

Oh my gosh. I hate you all so much, and I hate myself even more

Now I kind of feel sorry for you.

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I've returned calls to numbers I didn't know a couple of times. It usually turned out to be someone I knew calling from a phone number I didn't know.

These were definitely people I didn't know. The only people who had my number would've called from a number I recognized.

TeamTerradactyl: SevalecanDragon: I should shoot you for even CONSIDERING coding like that, but I was ROFLing too hard to stand up. I love it!
My blog about computer nonsense, etc.

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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Never underestimate the powers of Rohypnol!

Onewing
Member #6,152
August 2005
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Quote:

I hate you all so much, and I hate myself even more.

Bah, I guess you're going to have to change your sig.

Anyway, relax, chill, take a sedative. And then, do it again whenever you do something related to Project Amber. You're all fluttered and not thinking straight.

------------
Solo-Games.org | My Tech Blog: The Digital Helm

OICW
Member #4,069
November 2003
avatar

Chris: well what you did was foolish. But cheer up man, I bet that it's not lost. I think that she's really interested in you, that's why she looked so crushed the other day. Just talk it over with her, tell her that you were crushed on sunday. You can even bring her a flower, if you feel it'd be right.

I'm pretty sure you'll be better than me - I found that she's living with her boyfriend for half and a year... :-/

[My website][CppReference][Pixelate][Allegators worldwide][Who's online]
"Final Fantasy XIV, I feel that anything I could say will be repeating myself, so I'm just gonna express my feelings with a strangled noise from the back of my throat. Graaarghhhh..." - Yahtzee
"Uhm... this is a.cc. Did you honestly think this thread WOULDN'T be derailed and ruined?" - BAF
"You can discuss it, you can dislike it, you can disagree with it, but that's all what you can do with it"

le_y_mistar
Member #8,251
January 2007
avatar

Quote:

Quote:

Guess what is the first result on google for does chris katko love amber [google.com] ;D

I'd think she'd be flattered that I care(d) enough about her to ask for people's advice. But at this point, "whatever" in either case.

You're wrong. So very very wrong.

-----------------
I'm hell of an awesome guy :)

Evert
Member #794
November 2000
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As an aside, try not to think for her. That means, if she says something, don't nescessarily assume that she means what you think she means if you're not sure. Above all, don't act too violently to that.
I had a friend who used to think for other people and acted on what he thought they had meant. Considering he invariably managed to get it wrong, this ticked a lot of people off. So be a bit careful.

Quote:

I found that she's living with her boyfriend for half and a year...

Rule #1: if you have a crush on someone, make finding out if they're taken your top priority. Most girls will let you know early on by sneaking mention of their boyfriend into the conversation.
Doesn't always mean you're hopeless though. I knew a girl who would only mention that she'd been having fights with her boyfriend. We got on fairly well, but I had a big crush on someone else at the time, so I didn't persue it (which with hindsight was the wrong thing to do, but it felt like the decent thing at the time).

le_y_mistar
Member #8,251
January 2007
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move along. To get over someone you need to get under someone else.

-----------------
I'm hell of an awesome guy :)

kentl
Member #2,905
November 2002

Talk to her real quickly and apologize for your behavior. After that it's definitely time to move on. Otherwise you're entering stalker waters and you don't want to be there.

Dennis
Member #1,090
July 2003
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Quote:

Oh my gosh. I hate you all so much, and I hate myself even more.

By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged. No wait, what I really wanted to say was: Never give up, never surrender! (Galaxy Quest)
Relax and cheer up.:)



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