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You're about to get eaten by a pig.
Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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For a pig weighing 1 Godzillaton to appear behind me, a large amount of potential energy representing the former gravitational separation between us must be converted to kinetic energy. I intend to use either a highly elastic collision or the gravitational slingshot effect to escape.

^ This one is the best! ;D

Hey! Perhaps instead of a elastic collision we could use that energy to create the flame! :o

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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Yodhe23 got eaten by the pig... Apparently convincing yourself it isn't real doesn't save you from being devoured by it. Who knew. ::)

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I would convince the pig I'm a female pig, or an even bigger pig.

You wouldn't be able to shit right for an eternity! :o

Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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The diameter would be 1 Gapezillaton.

Gideon Weems
Member #3,925
October 2003

How fast does the pig move?

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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It's something of a lumbering beast due to its size, but this is relative of course--it takes LARGE STEPS!

Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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Is it able to eat new things while taking steps? As in, if one were properly positioned could you sneak inside its step_distance and avoid ingestion?

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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In theory that would be possible, yes. But we still need a plan to kill the pig so we can save the world from its eatiness. Do you plan to bring an army of Pyros to fry it into bacon?

Gideon Weems
Member #3,925
October 2003

  1. A pig of normal size can swim no farther than 10 miles before exhausting itself.

  2. At 50 ft tall, Pigzilla is 17 times the size of a pig of normal size.

  3. Pigzilla can therefore swim no farther than 10 * 17 = 170 miles before exhausting itself.

  4. It follows that isolated land upon which Pigzilla does not currently stand, separated by more than 170 miles in every direction from land large enough to support Pigzilla, will forever be safe from Pigzilla's reign of terror.

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
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Wouldn't pigzilla collapse until its own weight?

There's also plenty of square-cube law going on.

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

Edgar Reynaldo
Member #8,592
May 2007
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With a size of 50ft and a mass of one godzillion tons, the pigs density effectively makes it a singularity. For your isolated island theory to work you must be outside the event horizon of porkzilla and be traveling fast enough to orbit the pig to be safe. :P

Gideon Weems
Member #3,925
October 2003

If we're going with the Urban Dictionary definition of Godzillion, then we win by default. In being the "largest number ever," a Godzillion is more than are the smallest building blocks of matter in the entire universe. In trying to bring into existence a pig that is more than this number, the number of smallest building blocks of matter in the universe increases, thereby increasing the value of a Godzillion. In bringing the resulting Godzillion-ton pig into existence, the value of Godzillion goes up again, and the process repeats ad infinitum.

... Pigzilla will forever be too massive for our universe. We never even know he is there, and his simultaneous creation and destruction happen an infinite number of times, in every moment of every day, until our universe dies of unrelated causes.

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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So what you're basically suggesting here is that a Godzillion is essentially the other side of the coin of infinitesimals - instead of "the smallest possible number greater than zero", it's the largest possible number smaller than infinity? This seems... implausible.

I really don't think we can invoke the laws of physics to beat this thing. Hell, it probably violated the laws of physics so badly by simply existing that they no longer apply to it.

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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{"name":"tumblr_n0yg44SWrx1qhry21o1_400.gif","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/e\/7\/e74ae17798dae1476bf025cd7bd896c9.gif","w":375,"h":161,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/e\/7\/e74ae17798dae1476bf025cd7bd896c9"}tumblr_n0yg44SWrx1qhry21o1_400.gif

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
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That GIF describes my thoughts about the aspect ratio of that GIF.

{"name":"7v926fY.gif","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/1\/9\/1904d8693f17a0940908408491297936.gif","w":512,"h":162,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/1\/9\/1904d8693f17a0940908408491297936"}7v926fY.gif

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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Hey, what if we launch the pig into the sun? I imagine one of two things would happen: 1. It would get fried into bacon, or 2. It would eat the sun and possibly get fried into bacon from the inside. Either way we win!

There's always the possibility it eats the sun and isn't affected at all though...

Neil Roy
Member #2,229
April 2002
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I ask the officer to show a warrant. :P

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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Neil Roy said:

I ask the officer to show a warrant

How is this going to stop the pig? ???

Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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Neil Roy said:

I ask the officer to show a warrant. :P

EEeeeeeeehhhhh I see what you did there. ;) :D

Gideon Weems
Member #3,925
October 2003

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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Okay. Well here's what's going to happen according to some random psychic I consulted: It will eventually be eaten by a cow. So that takes care of the pig, but now we have a bigger, eatier problem: the cow!

The cow in question is called "Kitty E. Cow", or "Kittycow" for short. It is 100 feet tall, weighs 2 GzT and like the pig before it, eats everything in a hundred-mile radius in two seconds. UNLIKE the pig however, it subsists primarily on cats (but will of course also eat people, trains, houses, pigs etc. in pursuit of its preferred food source). How do you propose we deal with this monstrosity?

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

This is very interesting.

video

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

Neil Roy
Member #2,229
April 2002
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I just felt the thread needed a distraction... ;)

{"name":"610117","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/6\/9\/699c41d77cd74f4296e0c8b2ca9a55a2.jpg","w":618,"h":856,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/6\/9\/699c41d77cd74f4296e0c8b2ca9a55a2"}610117

Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006

What if we covered ourselves in poison before we got eaten?

By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul.
If we get apple juice from squeezing apples, and we get prunes from drying out plums, where does prune juice come from?
Hi Randall Monroe.

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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That would probably work, although given the size of the pig you will need A LOT of poison to even faze it...



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