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You're about to get eaten by a pig.
Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

The pig eats everything around you for miles, so you just have to stand next to the fire :)

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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So it seems we're reaching a consensus here: The way to beat the pig is to trick it into eating a bunch of fire so that it gets converted into bacon posthaste. So a good idea might be to find a wildfire burning somewhere (let's not go starting one, okay? ;)) and lure the pig towards it so it devours everything in that area, including the fire.

In this way we should be able to convert the entire pig into bacon in one fell swoop, which serves the dual purpose of getting rid of the pig and also feeding everyone on earth from now until the end of eternity. What do you say guys, are you in? 8-)

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
avatar

The pig is sentient but incredibly stupid. The question then is, what kind of stupid?

- Feeble and likely to commit a blunder.
- Quick to act but and not always in its best interest?
- Head-strung/arrogant?
- Stupid in the blanket sense that it would be impossible to communicate effetively with it.

I guess what needs to be established is... is this a gigantic super pig with a normal pig brain? Or some kind of equally impressive brain?

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
avatar

Basically it's really dim-witted and only just barely self-aware: It gets pissed off because there's apparently another pig running around eating all the stuff it wanted to eat! (this "other pig" being itself, in case that wasn't obvious :P) The pig also thinks hippos are competition for it because they're fat, despite being, you know, herbivores.

Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006

In light of the pig's low intelligence, I resubmit my first suggestion of wrapping your towel around your head. Or put a mirror in front of an active volcano. The pig will see the "other pig", attack and fall in.

By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul.
If we get apple juice from squeezing apples, and we get prunes from drying out plums, where does prune juice come from?
Hi Randall Monroe.

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
avatar

How about using a mirror reflecting up so that it can't see you?

Is a pig's smell sufficient enough to desire consuming the planet?

Does it have heat vision and I should cover myself in mud?

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
avatar

Hiding doesn't really solve anything though; unless you hide under the mirror for the rest of eternity, you're eventually going to get eaten.

For what it's worth I don't really think the pig has heat vision though. It's not some type of super pig! (Just a super fat and eaty pig)

Gideon Weems
Member #3,925
October 2003

... Either way, this thread stands a better chance of reaching a conclusion than other, more popular threads of late.

What frequency is Pigzilla able to use his eating power? It must be like a wizard in D&D, with a certain number of spell casts per day...

Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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Maybe there's a sweet spot if we time it right with the step distance.

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
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The pig never gets full. Ever. It can just keep eating and eating and eating, and all the food, people, buildings, etc. will just disappear. Well, for 24 hours anyway... actually now that I think of it that's probably why it never gets full. :P

Maybe if we feed it an entire railyard full of trains like the one from this movie it would be enough to satiate it:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477080/

Hey, I have an idea! Since it's so huge, maybe if we get everyone around to go for a massive group piggyback ride, we can't get eaten since we'd be riding on the pig! And the best part is that you can get to any place on the planet quickly since the pig takes enormous steps... of course the problem here is that once you dismount, you're vulnerable to getting eaten again...

edit: Uh, guys, we have a problem:
{"name":"rmV3x6h.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/d\/4\/d4c58e2e8a84b8575b3e0915dd55f0e3.jpg","w":1998,"h":1281,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/d\/4\/d4c58e2e8a84b8575b3e0915dd55f0e3"}rmV3x6h.jpg

The pig sprouted fucking wings

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

That's even better! Who wants to ride a land animal? :)

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
avatar

This does not scale. Clearly this pig is magic and therefore an angel from Heaven. Repent, heathens! >:( I'm just going to vow my loyalty to the Lord Jesus Christ and the pig will leave me alone. :o

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
avatar

Oh come on, clearly the pig is actually the god here you should be worshiping it. All you're doing is insulting it and therefore making it more likely to eat you.

All hail our lord and savior* Pigzilla!

* The pig is not actually a savior in any real sense and is just as likely to eat you whether you worship it or not. Have fun being inside the pig

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
avatar

If it's so big, it'd probably have trouble finding me and I'd just sneak up next to its foot.

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
avatar

Won't that just cause the sword along with whoever is holding it to be absorbed into the pig's fat rolls?

Also: Who is Boobuigi? ???

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

Go into your allegro.cc settings and enable animated avatars. Then it'll make sense :)

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
avatar

Haha, that's awesome. I love the Mario & Luigi games! :D

Say, I wonder if Luigi can fight the pig?

edit: I have an idea! Since the pig doesn't like competition, how about if we clone the pig? Then the two pigs will eat each other and nobody else has to be devoured ever again.

MiquelFire
Member #3,110
January 2003
avatar

I think this may not work. One pig will be slightly faster and eat the other pig before the other pig can eat.

Either way, if the plan does work and they do somehow eat each other, whoever was eaten at the time is dead/gone for good. If they have a chance of coming back, so do the pigs themselves.

---
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MiquelFire.red | +Me
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Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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If the pig eats itself does it come back to life?

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
avatar

...Possibly? I don't know if it's logistically possible for the pig to eat itself though, since as said in the OP it eats everything within a hundred-mile radius of its prey, specifically excluding itself. If it ate itself that would cause a paradox...

Gideon Weems
Member #3,925
October 2003

I found this on the other side of the planet. Who among you is brave enough to unsheathe it?

{"name":"610177","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/f\/a\/fae77fe0150dd6a52029f28b1036ed7b.jpg","w":400,"h":356,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/f\/a\/fae77fe0150dd6a52029f28b1036ed7b"}610177

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

Didn't it fall out?

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

Bruce Pascoe
Member #15,931
April 2015
avatar

I thought the pig ate it, actually.

Gideon Weems
Member #3,925
October 2003

Didn't it fall out?

Gravity (even its cartoon variant) is not the power that unsheathes this sword.

The pig did eat it, once, and found its flavor tasted familiar in a way he did not enjoy.



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