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Post your lame puns/jokes |
arrowhen
Member #8,829
July 2007
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Q: How is a duck like a bicycle? |
Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001
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"What does a fish and a saxophone have in common?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest. |
VictorVVV
Member #8,903
August 2007
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_ What is the difference between toilets and kitchen ? |
gnolam
Member #2,030
March 2002
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Quote: X-G: I don't think I get it... -- |
Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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Q: What's green, wet, whistles and hangs on the wall? A: A herring But, you protest, a herring doesn't hang on the wall. So hang it there! And a herring isn't green. So paint it! A herring isn't wet. If you just painted it, it is! And a herring doesn't whistle. Yeah, I just put that in to make it hard. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ In the Jargon File, it mentions the road "El Camino Real", and how some college students renamed it "El Camino Bignum" since it's so long. And there's a small part called "El Camino Imaginary" adjacent to a military airport called Moffet Field. It's imaginary because of all the complex planes (wink, wink, nudge) They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
X-G
Member #856
December 2000
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In particular, a linear time-invariant closed feedback loop is unstable if it has any poles with positive real components--that is, any poles in the right complex half-plane. -- |
Derezo
Member #1,666
April 2001
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. "He who controls the stuffing controls the Universe" |
kikabo
Member #3,679
July 2003
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Where do you weigh a whale? |
Andrei Ellman
Member #3,434
April 2003
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Q: Why is it believed that fungi aren't as good as they can be? AE. -- |
bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. None of which I came up with... ::) -- acc.js | al4anim - Allegro 4 Animation library | Allegro 5 VS/NuGet Guide | Allegro.cc Mockup | Allegro.cc <code> Tag | Allegro 4 Timer Example (w/ Semaphores) | Allegro 5 "Winpkg" (MSVC readme) | Bambot | Blog | C++ STL Container Flowchart | Castopulence Software | Check Return Values | Derail? | Is This A Discussion? Flow Chart | Filesystem Hierarchy Standard | Clean Code Talks - Global State and Singletons | How To Use Header Files | GNU/Linux (Debian, Fedora, Gentoo) | rot (rot13, rot47, rotN) | Streaming |
CGamesPlay
Member #2,559
July 2002
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A mushroom for improvement? {"name":"mario_mushroom.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/0\/f\/0f0a5721931a522f7dbc01534c3f841f.jpg","w":450,"h":297,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/0\/f\/0f0a5721931a522f7dbc01534c3f841f"} -- Ryan Patterson - <http://cgamesplay.com/> |
Rampage
Member #3,035
December 2002
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Hehehe, this is a fun thread. -R |
Andrei Ellman
Member #3,434
April 2003
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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. Somebody goes up to them and sais "What is this, some kind of a joke?". -- |
LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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Two fish were swimming down the river when it started to rain. "Lets swim under that bridge," said the first. "I don't want to get wet." Two Irishman were walking through a forest when they saw a sign saying "Tree Fellers Wanted." The first turns to the second and says "What a pity there's only the two of us."
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Thomas Fjellstrom
Member #476
June 2000
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Q: What is the difference between an orange? Sister and her friend made that one up in Jr. High! -- |
BAF
Member #2,981
December 2002
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What's funnier than a dead baby? |
Andrei Ellman
Member #3,434
April 2003
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-- |
Demons
Member #8,807
July 2007
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2 nuns walk into a bar. You'd figure the second would have ducked. From Steven Wright. For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out... I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time. "I met her at Macy's. She was shopping... I was putting Slinky's on the escalator." "I bought some batteries... but they weren't included... so I had to buy them again..." |
CGamesPlay
Member #2,559
July 2002
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A woman was in love with fourteen soldiers. It was clearly platoonic. Just pulled that one out of fortune. -- Ryan Patterson - <http://cgamesplay.com/> |
Thomas Fjellstrom
Member #476
June 2000
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I've got a years worth of Readers Digest if anyone wants me to flood the thread with it -- |
TeamTerradactyl
Member #7,733
September 2006
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As long as they're clean, flood away!
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HardTranceFan
Member #7,317
June 2006
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Q: Who's the most popular vegetable? -- |
Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006
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Another from Steve Wright. A guy walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk: "If I melted dry ice and swam in it, would I get wet?" The clerk replies : "I don't know. I'll have to ask the manager.". Same source: "Hi, I'm Mr. Wright. I hear you're looking fo me.". By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul. |
Slartibartfast
Member #8,789
June 2007
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A baby seal walks into a club. ---- |
mEmO
Member #1,124
March 2001
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Q: Why is there a dead baby in the microwave? A: Because there wasn't room for it in the toaster. --------------------------------------------- |
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