So there is this cute and nice girl at a sub shop in town that I've been meaning to ask out and I finally just did. Even though it seems taboo cause she's at work and has to be nice, etc. In any case, she said she has a boyfriend. But she said we could still be friends. So I said that would be cool too. Friends. Sigh. She wrote her phone number and name on a card. I didn't really introduce myself or give her my name, though she should have learned it a week or two ago when she personally offered to start a counting card (i.e., 10 subs and the next one is free), which has my full name on it. Still, there's a good chance she's forgotten (especially since I've bought like 4 subs since then and none of them seem to remember that I have a card with them)...

In any case, now I have her name and number, but can only really do friend things. I don't even know what would qualify... I mean, I could always invite her to join myself and friends for something, but I don't have [m]any friends, so if I was going to invite her to something it would probably be just us two (and whoever she happened to invite), which just seems weird... I don't have any ideas for what kinds of things friends would get together for anyway. I don't really know what to do.

I could just not call her and pretend it never happened. That certainly seems easiest. Though I do like getting subs from that place (only place in town anymore) so I'll inevitably run into her again. It would be silly to act like there's an elephant in the room or whatever. On the other hand, I could always make things worse by calling her and asking to do something she's not comfortable with... Ugh.

So I guess I'm seeking advice. Should I just let the friendship offer go stale and maybe hope she becomes available in the future and it comes up in casual conversation? Should I take her up on the friendship offer and call her to do something? But what? Should I forget about her entirely and stop eating subs?

Discuss.

Give what a shot?

In my experience, friendship just happens naturally, or it doesn't. Next time you order a sub, see if she seems open to a bit of chatting. If she does, go with the flow; if she doesn't, don't worry about it. But I think any situation where someone feels the need to say explicitly "we can be friends" is a situation where you probably can't be. If you can be friends, you will just know it and no one will need to say it. It's more likely she felt bad for you, was trying to make you feel better, and isn't astute enough to realise that offering to be friends isn't going to work. (Few people are.) So don't be too hopeful.

Don't worry about it either. If you don't ask, you'll never know. She won't be thinking badly of you. You've also just gained +1 XP. (Don't say that to a girl, unless of course you have your heart set on a gamer girl and can take the odd looks you'll get in your less than refined approach to identifying them.)

I think she was just letting you down nicely.

Uh, what the hell is a sub in your meaning? I think I got that right, but looking just at these two sentences above a lot of things come to mind...

Anyway I think you think too much about it. I would second Bruce on this - friendship just happens, it's not like on Facebook: "let's be friends" - "um, okay". It's a continuous process where the involved parties get to know each other.

What?! I haven't even shaken her hand yet!

In this context a sub is a submarine sandwich.

So the general consensus seems to be that it was an ill-advised attempt to let me down gently and that I should just ignore it. That part's simple. The hard part though is, do I stop going to the sub shop, or if I do go back and run into her, do I just pretend there is an elephant in the room (i.e., not talk about it unless she brings it up)?

Append: until Edgar came along and threw the balance all off.

I would expect nothing less from bambam!

The best thing to do is to just mind your own business, never talk to women at all, and enjoy being free to spend your money on a bunch of crap you'll never need or use.

I'd say you have to fix that first then.

@kazzmir
That's in really poor taste, dude.

My advice is identical to Bruce Perry's.

Other than that, I'd say you should go get a sub there every day, all while apologizing for not getting subs more often. Be sure to maintain dead-lock eye contact at her the whole time. Also, make sure you constantly reiterate how you guys are "friends" and when you say "friends" make sure you say it like it's the most treasured thing in the world. And always keep eye contact. Then, after about a week, put her in an awkward situation where she misunderstands something you said, putting her in check-mate for going out on a date. A day before your date, go by her work and tell her you can't wait for the two of you to get to share one another's hopes and dreams - give her a teaser and tell her how you know that she's everything you've dreamed of. Maintain. constant. eye contact. When she doesn't show up to the date, go to her work the next day and talk about how you treasure her friendship, and even though she didn't show up, you understood how she must have been very busy with her family or something because you know that she wouldn't just ditch you, cause friends don't do that and the two of you are friends because she told you so. Tell her you trust her with all of your heart and what the two of you share is more valuable to you than any treasure.

Then rape her.

That's how it seems at first, you must subtly warn her against putting you on a pedestal. Otherwise, when she finds out you, like every other guy (except this one) puts his pants on one leg at a time, she's doomed to disappointment. But make sure she does understand it's a much better fit overall. But tame the drinking first.

This is also a danger if you do your very best in everything. Being the "mostest awesome guy evar" is a full time job in itself, and they'll all think they're not in your league. I hesitate to mention my own experience in this matter due to my extreme modesty, but IIRC Derezo mentioned this a year or so ago.

This.