Jen would probably say I am. Somehow I was stalking her without ever actually seeing or talking to her... From approximately 250-300 miles (more approximately 400-500 kilometers) away... I think it was an excuse to blame me for her discomfort with "boys" and my feelings for her. Her sister and I used to chat a lot (often for hours a day), but in person she was uncomfortable around me...

The last time I talked to (read: chatted with) Jen I invited her sister in to act as a moderator because Jen was being completely ignorant... While it helped a little bit you can't expect a sister to turn on another. In the end I was still upset with the sister for not defending me more and stopped talking to her also.

I think she went around me because of that discomfort and added tension being Jen's sister... I probably also exaggerated the effort that she made to go around me... I noticed her at the last second, but my interpretation was that she had acknowledged me in the parking lot and made an effort to avoid me.

I don't think you were stalking her. You're literally obsessed with her.

Perhaps having some mono could help !

grues? THIS IS SPARTA!

grue -> grul -> gurl -> girl

Personally, I wouldn't mind being "eaten" by one of those in a dark room

Does anyone else here have that feeling of de ja vue, that this topic has been covered before? But I can't find the thread, damnit!

A thread about girls and unrequited love on Allegro.cc? Never!

First things first, don't be an emo-kid.

The way you think about the world creates what you percieve to be it's reality. Breaking the negative mindset is the first step to closure. There are several ways to achieve closure. The most obvious (but by now it seems extremely unlikely) way is for the two of you to become a couple. The other way is for you to move on. It's hard to do if your only friends are (were) from that circle of freinds that included her and you have trouble making new frinds by yourself. If things really do get bad, you could always move to a new town, but I for one hope that it does not have to come to that. You don't have to avoid her and her friends and anything that reminds you of her to move on - just learn not to let your feelings for her consume you. This of course is easier said than done. The best course of action to take would be to pull yourself together and get back on friendly terms with the others in your circle. This will be the first step in becoming freinds with her once again. Also, once you've become friends again, you must learn to appreciate what you've got and not to push it further. It seems like previously, you tried to push it further but came accross as a bit creepy which scared her away.

It seems like you've completely separated yourself from your entire circle of friends. All you think about (or try and avoid thinking about) is her. You seem almost oblivious to the fact that you've broken off from the others in that circle. You seem to be trapped in a downward spiral of dispair letting your life distintegrate all round you. Who knows what else has fallen apart due to neglect.

You have to get out of this downwards spiral. Pull yourself together. A lot of this lies in your attitude. In other words, it's not her, it's you.

Firstly, you should try and isolate the feeling of being in love for what it is. That is, you should strive to feel the feeling of being 'in love' itself - not the feeling of being 'in love with her'. Someday, you will meet a girl who will totally knock you off your feet and make you wonder what you even saw in her. Perhaps this day will come in a couple of year's time - perhaps next week - perhaps tomorrow even. Who knows. It may be a long road, but it will sure be scenic. Have faith and hang in there. Learn to ride the alternating waves of extacy and dispair, and you too can become a surfer-dude on the emotional surf.

But whatever you do, do not take out your fustration on her or any of her freinds in any way. That will just make things worse. You may end up doing things that you may regret, and this feeling of regret will drag you down further, causing you to do more things you may regret. Make a stand. Make an effort to sort things out. Start by restoring speaking-terms with her friends (especially the one you call the 'backstabber'), and things will go from there on.

If you want my opinion, it is from your perspective.

By ignoring him, you're just driving a wedge further between yourself and the circle of friends. He interprets your ignorance of him as a sign that you are still jealous of him and that you haven't gotten over it. So here's a plan of action you can take. The next time the two of you see eachother, just ask him how things are going - how his studies are going, or whatever; just don't mention her. Although this won't happen immediately, things will thaw out. Also, it will make it easier for you if you don't see him as a backstabber, but just as someone who is going out with her. This may help you get back with others in that circle of friends. Eventually, word will spread to her that you're an OK sort-of person to hang out with and this may even lead to the two of you speaking again.

The aim is to get to an equilibrium with her where you're on speaking/MSN-ing terms, but whatever you do, do not ask that she be on MSN more often - she will be on MSN when she choses to be on MSN. If you make it clear that that isn't good enough, she will think you're obsessed. Just let her be on when she wants to be on and let her talk when she wants to talk. Even if you think not having her as your girlfreind is bad, not having her speak to you is worse. Stick to how far you've managed to get in the past - 'worse' is worse than 'bad'.

So she has been known to unblock/re-add you to her MSN. It appears that all hope is not lost - she might just do it again. Just try and be on better terms with your circle of freinds. When talking to the 'circle', just avoid taking about her, or that you think the 'backstabber' is a backstabber. Just don't give them the impression it's still on your mind (even if it is).

Telling someone to be online more often is telling someone what to do with their life. As I said, that makes you look obsessed. This is overreacting. Girls may like attention, but obsession can scare - this is a fact of life.

Try for a moment to mentally detatch yourself from yourself and try and look objectively at yourself. Maybe they are right. For a moment, force yourself to see things from their perspective and analyse what implications this has. This could give you new insights. When in love, it's hard to see things from anyone's but your own perspective, but try, and you never know what you may find out about yourself.

Whatever you do, don't let this consume you. If you can pull through this, you will come out the other end as someone who has great enthusasm and determination.

To the day of closure my friend!

Oh and,

DON'T LISTEN TO PAINFUL MUSIC, it just amplifies your mood. Listen to something more cheerful like this instead.

AE.

PS. Just in case you want to take up a new activity to take your mind off her, I would recommend a martial art such as Jiu-Jitsu. It's an excellent way to purge yourself of your stress and take your mind away from whatever's occupying it.

L

Psh. My suggestion: Kill yourself.

Don't contaminate the gene pool. Then our children will have to answer your children's emo threads.

Seriously, chillax.

Study:

Surveyed happiness levels for paraplegics and lottery winners, directly after the fact, were of course heavily skewed happy for lottery winners. One year later, almost exactly the same level of happiness.

Why:

The brain manufactures synthetic happiness when something happens that you don't have a direct choice in.

Conclusion:

You will be just as happy a year from now whether you get with this girl or not, so you might as well save yourself the effort and move on to other pastures.

Source: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7822696446273926158&q=tedtalks&hl=en

The portrait example is more damning, but the lottery/paraplegics is more vivid.

Rape?

Remember, NO means "You're not using enough duct tape."

Andrei: wow, really long post. I think he should listen to these (in this thread) advices and act according to them. If it fails he can enrol to Marines

D'Oh, of course there are some advices, which should not be listened to (me points at Diana* )

_{*sorry couldn't resist ;)}