I work for a software company located above a greyhound bus depot. I just went to grab some donuts and chocolate milk from the coffee shop next to the garage and I met Her sister walking towards me (of course she went way around me to avoid any actual words or eye contact)... Now my mind is racing and I'm shaking uncontrollably...

She goes away to school and comes back for summer every year so She rides the buses a few times each year... Last year I hoped I would see Her sometime while we were still talking... Now that we're not talking it's more or less just frustrating, upsetting, and painful to be reminded of Her... I try to get over Her, but all it takes is something to remind me of Her and I'm right back where I started... It usually takes no more then seeing the same make/model as Her parents drive to make my heart race and my hands shake... Seeing Her sister is quite a lot worse.

She could be on the bus in the parking lot 100 feet away... She could even be beneath me in the actual greyhound station... The music I'm listening to was already painful and now I feel broken again...

Why are women evil?

This is one of those situations where "tough love" is the best advice. At least, it seems like your relationship with she-woman is either so messed up it's unrepairable or the shift has recently taken place. In either scenario, the best advice is to punch yourself in the stomach really hard (I'm not joking) and tell yourself to move on as quickly as possible, as hard as that may seem. Posting cry-faces on threads and "venting" isn't going to do anything but share your pain and probably will resolve very little of your actual emotions.

Memories will remain and you'll have regrets (unless you repress or get amnesia). That is not a saying, that is a fact of life.

You could be evil and go after her sister.

Maybe he already did? Hence the thread...

delete_thread(this);

...Damn it.

That is probably my best option. I say again, why are women evil?

Emotions are for the weak and only cause problems, toughen up.

Ok Mr Spock

Repressing emotions is probably worse.

It is, but realizing that relationships don't mean everything isn't.

Ooo, maybe I'm just being hermitical.

What's with the bolding?

It's my way of using emphasis instead of names...

Dude, been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It'll pass. It might take a couple of years but it will.

If you're not exposed directly, it will pass really quick. Just don't think about her. Or think about her, but tell yourself that it doesn't have any chance - let your rational thinking prevail over your fellings. There will be many others. Plus if she doesn't show interest in you, maybe she doesn't desrve you. Trust me I'm familiar with your actual state, more than I'd like

I have never met a girl that liked me cries

She hasn't done anything evil by showing up in her/your town.

You need to make yourself get over her, because in your case, I don't think that it's simply a matter of time healing wounds. Go to school, go to work, get involved in some volunteer activities, make the extra effort to keep in touch with old and new friends, and get another job if you find that you still have time to think about her. Seriously.

Doing these things will allow you to meet lots of different people, and you will realize how much better off you are when you don't waste time thinking your past with her. She has moved on, and now it's your turn to be strong and get on with your life. You are missing all kinds of opportunities by wallowing in self-pity.

You got some serious relationship advice from me... You oughta be grateful and take it because it's rare!

EDIT: Just read the post you linked to. You mean to say that you never actually dated?... She was a friend all along You need to toughen up! If you can't handle a friendship gone wrong, how will you handle a real break up or even tough relationship situations? Don't you want to be "dateable"?

I've met girls that like me, and I've liked girls that I've met. Only had the rare check mark in both columns once, (right now) and I'm fearing that I'm fucking it all up, but that's a post for another thread. (maybe, eventually)

Also, if I've learned one thing, it's to not take anyone's relationship advice. It's better to just respond as you would normally. You're the one dating (or not dating) person X, not your advice-giving friend.

The evil came before that. However, without closure on it everytime I'm reminded of Her I'm still filled with the emotion of it all unable to actually "get over it". She knowingly refused me that closure and felt no remorse doing so. Then again, She's a Christian so She's in the clear because I'm sure God forgives Her.

My old friends are Her friends. They don't talk to me anymore. I'm also anti-social so meeting new people is a challenge, to say the least.

I'm already too exhausted to do anything useful with my time.

She had nothing to move on from. It was never any skin off Her nose.

I appreciate it. However, without knowing the whole story it's more or less just everybody's general advice. "Get over it," "move on," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Nobody ever really does it. They bottle their emotions and either change to an unhealthy relationship state of mistreating others or they eventually get distracted by another somebody and start the whole thing over again.

The real advice is that there is no real cure. There will never be resolution and this pain will never really heal. If I'm lucky I'll find a beautiful girl that's blind enough to get involved with me to distract me from my wounds.

Either way, I'll breathe in, breathe out, and put one foot in front of the other. And it doesn't really matter.

By the way, this is probably good fuel for an emo song. You should write some lyrics and hook up with a band. ++chicks

It's quite disturbing to see that you boldface all references to her. I would lock yourself into a mental institution and ask that they throw away the keys.

Not to mention the thread title...

In the past people used to say "you cry like a little girl". Now it seems that the crying is more of a masculine activity. Sad, shy, and not very bright males.

You offered a stereotype so I have to bite:

That is the stupidest thing I've heard said about Christianity lately.

I think I'm gonna have to agree...

Relationships fail, it's an unfortunate fact of life. Basically, listen to wearetheborg.

Yep, me agrees too.

Sorry to mess up your day, but everybody does that, except emo kids. And you don't want to be emo kid, do you?

Actually that advice Diana gave you, and so everybody else, was the best advice you could get. It's truth and it really helps. All you need to do is let your rational thinking get over your emotions. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

Maybe some time after the break up. But as time passes (month at most) they forget about that. Or as you said they find somebody else. But that's it, if you find somebody else, you'll forget the past and after some time, you'll look at that person from different point of view.

Where's Linkin Park when you need them ?

Epsi: you mean that clip X-G used to post?

Here it comes

You are thinking wrong bamccaig.>:(

Too much thinking kill the mind.

The only things that should be shaking are your two bodies making love.

Think less, act more !

I keep thinking this thread is about hypothermia.

Best advice you're going to get.

Tell her that she can kiss your word I don't use here, then move on to someone else and forget about her. You seem to be having some obsessive behavior, and if I were related to or friends with her I would be very scared for her right now.

EDIT:
See, the bolding just looks disturbing when someone else does it.

The fact that you believe that there is no cure does not mean that there really is no cure. Perhaps you need to change your beliefs.

Don't run away from the problem, face it.

May I recommend this book for reading?

There are a number of ways to vent. Sometimes it's a sport, other times it's a video game, sometimes it's music. Sometimes it's violence. Sometimes it's crying. If you analyze why people say things it should be bluntly obvious that comments like "you cry like a little girl" have their own motives. It's easy to empower yourself stepping on somebody else. What would you recommend as a way to vent?

Males are just as bright as they ever were. Some of us are logical thinkers and some people are ignorant. Women operate on zero logic and this results in making something work difficult for a logical mind.

There are no emo kids. There are just people. And ignorant people. That word annoys me as much as fanboy.

It doesn't look disturbing... I don't normally emphasis every reference to her... I only did that on A.cc because it was a way to avoid using her name and still emphasize which pronouns referred to her vs. other women. Some of you are reading way too much into it.

I already faced it, or at least tried to. I can't think of anything else I can do.

IEEEEEeeeee!!!

Sorry, but as people we all have emotions, so maybe it's better to improve our capacity to deal with them.

Two things:

1) Don't give up trying, you can do it (Resistance is NEVER futile )
2) As I said above, try reading the book, or google for articles! For example, here is an article that shows 10 habits you can follow to improve the situation. You have to take action for that to happen.

Yes there are. Sometimes you can stumble upon them on the street. They are those who prefer uncontrolled emotions over rational thinking and are pleased with self-pitying. And when somebody hurts them, they cry even more. Maybe this instructional film will help you understand.

Try again, try harder. It works. You have to free your mind. Oh reminds me of this. Just listen to the text, there's some truth in it. Besides some change in your repertoar wouldn't hurt. You can't listen only to LP and Evanescence.

Just for kicks, you may also do some tests for emotional IQ. Not to be taken 100% truth, but at least they give you an idea of where you are (in my case, it is barely below average, which was to be expected, but awareness is the first step to improve).

They just released a new album this week. It wasn't even worth the download, it's more emo than ever. I'd recommend it to bamccaig, it may be less painful than what he is currently listening to.

My mp3 player has albums from 2Pac, 50 Cent, Avril Lavigne, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Dead Celebrity Status, Dr. Dre, Eisley, Eminem, Evanescence, The Game, Green Day, Hinder, Keshia Chanté, Lifehouse, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Lloyd Banks, Michelle Branch, Nickelback, Papa Roach, Pink, Rihanna, Seether, Shania Twain, Theory Of A Deadman, Toby Keith, and The Wreckers.

I'm currently listening to the Pop genre, which oddly includes Carrie Underwood (country), Evanescence (alternative rock), and Seether (alternative metal)...

In any case, my music tastes are not limited to Linkin Park and Evanescence.

That sounds like fun. Thanks.

I'm excited for their new album. Linkin Park is awesome, and their world wide success proves that.

What closure? She doesn't owe you anything. You guys never dated, you never had a romantic relationship. What exactly do you expect from her in order to have closure on this whole thing?

I suppose we can say the same thing about Britney Spears.

I was judging by what I've heard from you so far.

Something I've missed?

And that would be odd because...?
"Carry Underwear", now that would be a little odd, ... @ self...

About the God thing: You mean this guy?

http://www.duckiehorde.net/lp2.jpg

THESE WOUNDS OF MINE, THEY REFUSE TO HEAL

you are an emo kid.

Is it true that emo kids wear more black clothes?

Those would be Goths...

[edit]

But I thought Goths kind of merge into Emo Kids?

That was way too long.

And "For instance, you scored 141 on the Emotional Insight into Self subscale" in the blurb where they are trying to convince me to pay money to get more details.

They don't really explain which way's up...

http://allegro.cc/files/attachment/592148

You are not a real men. When it comes to women, a real men thinks with his penis, and only after he got the aimed girl, he starts thinking with his mind.

Too much think, no action, you are a looser.

You will never get a girl with those test/minding.

It is still time to change bamccaig. Where are your balls my god !

haha wow, that's pretty rare, are you the stalker type?

Jen would probably say I am. Somehow I was stalking her without ever actually seeing or talking to her... From approximately 250-300 miles (more approximately 400-500 kilometers) away... I think it was an excuse to blame me for her discomfort with "boys" and my feelings for her. Her sister and I used to chat a lot (often for hours a day), but in person she was uncomfortable around me...

The last time I talked to (read: chatted with) Jen I invited her sister in to act as a moderator because Jen was being completely ignorant... While it helped a little bit you can't expect a sister to turn on another. In the end I was still upset with the sister for not defending me more and stopped talking to her also.

I think she went around me because of that discomfort and added tension being Jen's sister... I probably also exaggerated the effort that she made to go around me... I noticed her at the last second, but my interpretation was that she had acknowledged me in the parking lot and made an effort to avoid me.

No boldfaces?!
You seem to recover from her! (hooray!)

I don't think you were stalking her. You're literally obsessed with her.

GIVE IT UP DUDE ITS NEVER GOONA HAPPEN!

Perhaps having some mono could help !

He must learn that grues are not healthy obsessions and are best avoided. Oh, and to never turn off the lights.

(girl -> gurl -> grul -> grue! Aha! But you don't fool me. Never, never, never! For the carrots within the burning cookie accumulator protect me from harm and evil. Yes, yes indeed!!1!)

grues? THIS IS SPARTA!

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

grue -> grul -> gurl -> girl

Personally, I wouldn't mind being "eaten" by one of those in a dark room

So you argued with her the same way you do it here, and you got angry that they disagreed with you, and stopped talking to them both? Yeah, she clearly owes you something.

Does anyone else here have that feeling of de ja vue, that this topic has been covered before? But I can't find the thread, damnit!

Didn't someone already link to it in this thread?

A thread about girls and unrequited love on Allegro.cc? Never!

If you mean miran's post about women then I think I linked to it in the initial post.

First things first, don't be an emo-kid.

The way you think about the world creates what you percieve to be it's reality. Breaking the negative mindset is the first step to closure. There are several ways to achieve closure. The most obvious (but by now it seems extremely unlikely) way is for the two of you to become a couple. The other way is for you to move on. It's hard to do if your only friends are (were) from that circle of freinds that included her and you have trouble making new frinds by yourself. If things really do get bad, you could always move to a new town, but I for one hope that it does not have to come to that. You don't have to avoid her and her friends and anything that reminds you of her to move on - just learn not to let your feelings for her consume you. This of course is easier said than done. The best course of action to take would be to pull yourself together and get back on friendly terms with the others in your circle. This will be the first step in becoming freinds with her once again. Also, once you've become friends again, you must learn to appreciate what you've got and not to push it further. It seems like previously, you tried to push it further but came accross as a bit creepy which scared her away.

It seems like you've completely separated yourself from your entire circle of friends. All you think about (or try and avoid thinking about) is her. You seem almost oblivious to the fact that you've broken off from the others in that circle. You seem to be trapped in a downward spiral of dispair letting your life distintegrate all round you. Who knows what else has fallen apart due to neglect.

You have to get out of this downwards spiral. Pull yourself together. A lot of this lies in your attitude. In other words, it's not her, it's you.

Firstly, you should try and isolate the feeling of being in love for what it is. That is, you should strive to feel the feeling of being 'in love' itself - not the feeling of being 'in love with her'. Someday, you will meet a girl who will totally knock you off your feet and make you wonder what you even saw in her. Perhaps this day will come in a couple of year's time - perhaps next week - perhaps tomorrow even. Who knows. It may be a long road, but it will sure be scenic. Have faith and hang in there. Learn to ride the alternating waves of extacy and dispair, and you too can become a surfer-dude on the emotional surf.

But whatever you do, do not take out your fustration on her or any of her freinds in any way. That will just make things worse. You may end up doing things that you may regret, and this feeling of regret will drag you down further, causing you to do more things you may regret. Make a stand. Make an effort to sort things out. Start by restoring speaking-terms with her friends (especially the one you call the 'backstabber'), and things will go from there on.

If you want my opinion, it is from your perspective.

By ignoring him, you're just driving a wedge further between yourself and the circle of friends. He interprets your ignorance of him as a sign that you are still jealous of him and that you haven't gotten over it. So here's a plan of action you can take. The next time the two of you see eachother, just ask him how things are going - how his studies are going, or whatever; just don't mention her. Although this won't happen immediately, things will thaw out. Also, it will make it easier for you if you don't see him as a backstabber, but just as someone who is going out with her. This may help you get back with others in that circle of friends. Eventually, word will spread to her that you're an OK sort-of person to hang out with and this may even lead to the two of you speaking again.

The aim is to get to an equilibrium with her where you're on speaking/MSN-ing terms, but whatever you do, do not ask that she be on MSN more often - she will be on MSN when she choses to be on MSN. If you make it clear that that isn't good enough, she will think you're obsessed. Just let her be on when she wants to be on and let her talk when she wants to talk. Even if you think not having her as your girlfreind is bad, not having her speak to you is worse. Stick to how far you've managed to get in the past - 'worse' is worse than 'bad'.

So she has been known to unblock/re-add you to her MSN. It appears that all hope is not lost - she might just do it again. Just try and be on better terms with your circle of freinds. When talking to the 'circle', just avoid taking about her, or that you think the 'backstabber' is a backstabber. Just don't give them the impression it's still on your mind (even if it is).

Telling someone to be online more often is telling someone what to do with their life. As I said, that makes you look obsessed. This is overreacting. Girls may like attention, but obsession can scare - this is a fact of life.

Try for a moment to mentally detatch yourself from yourself and try and look objectively at yourself. Maybe they are right. For a moment, force yourself to see things from their perspective and analyse what implications this has. This could give you new insights. When in love, it's hard to see things from anyone's but your own perspective, but try, and you never know what you may find out about yourself.

Whatever you do, don't let this consume you. If you can pull through this, you will come out the other end as someone who has great enthusasm and determination.

To the day of closure my friend!

Oh and,

DON'T LISTEN TO PAINFUL MUSIC, it just amplifies your mood. Listen to something more cheerful like this instead.

AE.

PS. Just in case you want to take up a new activity to take your mind off her, I would recommend a martial art such as Jiu-Jitsu. It's an excellent way to purge yourself of your stress and take your mind away from whatever's occupying it.

Considering Suicide?
Call: 1800 - MARINES

L

If you want to change something in your life, first think of what you would do if you achieved that change. What would the sideeffects of reaching that goal be?
Start imlementing those sideeffects, and your goal will be achieved almost automagically.

Psh. My suggestion: Kill yourself.

Don't contaminate the gene pool. Then our children will have to answer your children's emo threads.

Seriously, chillax.

Study:

Surveyed happiness levels for paraplegics and lottery winners, directly after the fact, were of course heavily skewed happy for lottery winners. One year later, almost exactly the same level of happiness.

Why:

The brain manufactures synthetic happiness when something happens that you don't have a direct choice in.

Conclusion:

You will be just as happy a year from now whether you get with this girl or not, so you might as well save yourself the effort and move on to other pastures.

Source: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7822696446273926158&q=tedtalks&hl=en

The portrait example is more damning, but the lottery/paraplegics is more vivid.

it's not rape because deep down she really wants it

also thread needs more linkin park

Rape?

Remember, NO means "You're not using enough duct tape."

It's not rape if you yell surprise.

Andrei: wow, really long post. I think he should listen to these (in this thread) advices and act according to them. If it fails he can enrol to Marines

bamccaig: Watch "Dawson's Creek"! It's perfect for you... It's about small town teens and unrequited love.

D'Oh, of course there are some advices, which should not be listened to (me points at Diana* )

_{*sorry couldn't resist ;)}

bamccaig wants advice, yet he refuses to accept any of it. He's a lost cause.

He has told us his side of the story, and I still think he's being freaky. If I were in her situation, I would have also blocked him out of my life... In fact, I probably would have also gotten a restraining order against Mr. bamccaig.

He's not a lost cause, he just needs time to change, and he will do it whenever he wants to do it, be it now, or in months, years, or in another life, it's up to him how much time though

Initially I asked why women are evil. I'm still waiting for an answer.

As for being a lost cause, I guarantee you don't understand the situation. I'm not trippin' on her everyday and for the most part forget about her. It's only when I see something that reminds me of it that I get upset (and for good reason, but then you wouldn't know because you barely know the surface of the story).

Even then, I usually forget about it after a traffic light or something. As soon as I start doing something else I forget about it all together and stay that way until something else reminds me (which is usually a week or month).

Well as offended as I am, you don't know me and probably don't know Jen either.

Well then tell us the whole story. And by the way I know the feeling you describe, being upset when somebody reminds her. But unlike you I have mixed feelings, I admire her as a friend and only feel a little regret of what could have been. That's all. You need to come a long way to this. And maybe if you use our advices this way will be shorter.

Please don't

Good God no..

They are evil because that's how you choose to view them. Another possibility is that they are evil toward you because your behaviour is freaky.

Same goes for grues. If you just view them that way, surely their eating of you is but a sign of love and benevolence. Don't run, and don't turn on the lights; they lurk with good intentions.

RP: you don't need to listen. Anyway I think that this thread has passed its expiration. All, what could have been said, have been said.

On a sidenote, do you all "boldise" (analogy as capitalise ) just for fun, or is this some kind of epidemy?

We all care about Her. I emphasize my references because writing her real name hurts so much, and my deep wounds are still open...

Even if I tried I couldn't do it justice.

Loving and hating the same person wreaks havoc to your subconscious. When I see her, or something that reminds me of her, a part of me is excited, but another part is angry and in pain.

I've had female friends admit that women are evil. One had fought me on the idea and after reflecting on how she handled a guy situation admitted that women are evil. A few others have also agreed with me while looking at their own behavior and the behavior of friends. Women openly tease men for their own "empowerment," and shoot them down when they make a move.

Agreed.

emo kid

You no hungry for girl, you hungry for Hot Pockets!

Then you must ask yourself a question why you hate her. After answering take that answer and think about it. If you'd be able to get rid of the thing, why you hate her, you can stop hating her, therefore only good things remain when you think about her, and then you're happy man, because then, you won't be not shaking anymore.

And if that answer is: "because she left me, she refused me" or so. Think about yourself, what if some girl told you that she loves you, but you haven't simply felt the same, you'd just refused her. It's the thing, you cannot force love, it either works for both or doesn't. If doens't there's no way and you have to move on, unless you want to enforce the lines of stalkers... And you don't want to do that.

Every time I see that phrase my mind conjures up an image of a kid sucking his thumb, holding tightly onto a blue hairy Elmo doll.

bamccaig, go to the hospital, quick !

You are not a man. A real man does not care about such silly thing, he act.

Please stop making men looking so emo, go to the hospital, they for sure can take your banana, reverse and split it, and you will be saved.

I am sure you will be better with tits and no penis, with such a mind.

Well, only if women accept you in their side.

HTF: Elmo is red

And Tickle-Me Emo is black.

We can all agree, I believe, that a woman requires both time and money, you must spend time with her, and take her out, and buy her gifts on holidays, etc. Therefor...

Women = Time * Money

Now, as any good capitolist will tell you, time equals money, so...

Women = Money * Money

Or...

Women = Money²

And, as we all know, money is the root of all evil, which means...
`````````______
Women = /Evil<sup>2</sup>

Which, when simplified, gives us...

Women = Evil

You obviated one step there:

Money leads to greed, therefore:

Money = Greed

And Greed is the root of all evil.

From there:

Women = Money<sup>2</sup> Women = Greed<sup>2</sup> Women = (Evil<sup>1/2</sup>)<sup>2</sup> Women = Evil

The Voice of Elmo is A big Black man named Kevin Clash.

See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY_sl1R3KJQ

Yeah, I know, but try telling my creative juices that. There's a battle knocking around in my head between the logical ("I'm telling ya, Elmo's RED") and the imaginative ("Talk to the hand, in this mind he's BLUE") .

Nobody's a lost cause.

From your perspective, it's because that's the way you percieve them to be.

Now this I find worrying. From a bystander's point of view, it seems like you were trying to drive a wedge between her and her sister. Her sister would get the impression that she is being used and be more likely to turn against you. She was not being ignorant, she just thinks your behaviour is creepy. One of the facts of life is that giving someone too much attention can scare someone if not done right.

If you only noticed her sister at the last second, the chances are that your interpretation was clouded by your predjudices. Maybe her sister didn't notice you, and you interpreted a minor anomaly in her sister's locus as a sign of hostility. Also, maybe her sister thinks that because you are ignoring her sister (as you said, you also exaggerated the effort), you are still bitter about how things went. If you do see her sister again, just go up to her sister and talk to her sister. Talk about anything, but whatever you do, do not mention her at all. This stand-off is just making things worse. End it before it totally consumes you. It's all in your mind anyway. To others, the stand-off comes accross as bitterness. Just keep her out of it and you'll be on speaking terms with the rest of your circle in no time.

As I said before, it's not her, it's you.

AE.

"Money is the root of all evil." Nowhere does greed get mentioned. Take your pills.

It's just a joke I found on the internet. It tok me so long to type it, I forgot to mention that.

By the way, don't take it seriously. Women aren't evil, even if you say they are. Maybe a few specific ones are, but not all of them.

That phrase comes from the Bible: "The love of money is the root of all [sorts of] evil," which is, indeed, a reference to greed.

Better ask for your pills back.

Women are evil though, no idea why, but it makes it easy to not feel guilty about taking advantage of them. Not that I would ever do anything like that.

For some reason they also don't think straight. They would rather be walked on by a guy, than the opposite. So when you act all wussy, needy, and "love-me"-ish, they RUN.

Get a hobby, get friends, have fun. Oh, and Kibiz0r, I'm sigging you.

"Money can't buy happiness, but if you don't have money you'll surely be unhappy."

quit listening to that emo stuff. It's not going to help you feel any better.

Listen to funky chip tunes. That will get you back to your geeky ways..

The Pac-Man tune!

but without the pills.

Tetris theme song.

You're all just a buncha hosebags.

I true reality women are not evil, that's just one of your beliefs.
If you put enough will into changing your belief about women, constantly thinking women are good and trying to see the good in them. You will see more and more good women.

Beliefs filter reality. When you think about Volvo's you see Volvo's everywhere, when you think about Ford's you barely see any Volvo's at all. It's all about where you focus your attention.

Great piece of slang to add to my vocabulary.

Please explain.

Oh did I mention that this thread should be six feet deep a long time ago? Now it's only derailed stub, where many people are poking fun...

quoted for emphasis

You mean this part? GO FORD!

Doesn't your shaking and obsessive bolding bother you? There's a fine line between love and obsession, probably measured only by unselfishness and consideration. I would say you're obsessed.

Here's Urban Dictionary for you

Ford sucks.

Nice grammar. Anyway, I do see the good in women. It's very frustrating to have this view of women now, but I was forced driven to see the bad in them as well.

I'd never think about Volvo or Ford... I think about Dodge, but I notice every nice car. That doesn't include Volvos and very rarely includes Fords.

Apparently none of you are psychologists...

There are many bad reasons to get upset when you are reminded of someone, but no good ones.

Oh, and all women are evil, just like all men are cheaters.

No you weren't. Only your mind thinks that. Remove that mental block and your sight of women will change. Yes everybody here jokes that women are evil or weird. But they joke or think the same about us. In fact they are beings with their needs, dreams and desires, just as we are. If you don't understand their behaviour, it's fine, they mostly don't understand yours. If you cope with this, you'll be fine. Otherwise good luck with your depression, frustration and whatever.

Generally if you do ask about advice (and you have done) you should try to take those advices and act by them. So please do something about your mind*, otherwise all of this writing in this thread goes in vain. We gave you advices, it's up to you to do something. If you don't, then don't come back here for any further help (yes it's weird, but actually even here among us geeks are some people who know something about women and some of them are actually married) - you'll get the same advices.

<sub>*change your attitude towards the women; stop being asshole (in social behaviour); forget about Jen, or whatever her name is; get yourself together and then come back.</sub>

Crazy Photon: thanks, I always forget about that site. Now I can't decide which explanation apply...

http://www.duckiehorde.net/emoduckie.jpg

Turn gay. If you haven't yet.

That's incredibly ignorant. Think about it for a minute.

I'll say this again...

It's not her, it's yoo-hoo!!!!!

AE.

I've thought about it, and I can't think of any good reasons.... care to give us any?

You don't know either of us. Oh, and calm down, there's no reason to get upset.

Consider a dictator robbing your country blind and enslaving it's citizens; arresting, imprisoning, and torturing anyone who questions him. Would thinking of him make you upset?

I bet if you said that to a psychologist [s]he would offer you a seat and start asking questions about your childhood. We're human; even if you don't show it on the surface, there are many things that can and do make you upset.

Probably not. But then again, I don't let my like or dislike for people run my life. I don't go off into depression because somebody talks about somebody I don't like, I just ignore it and move on.

Personally, it takes a LOT to get me upset. I just don't let stuff bother me, most of the time it's not even worth my time. Life goes on, so why waste it?

That's why we have the second amendment

Did she do all that to you? Wow, now I understand. You two were into S&M...

Inphernic: If there was ever an occasion where I appreciated one of your posts, it'd be that one

Perhaps you should. It obviously went over your head. Yes, people get upset over things all the time, and for various reasons. This still isn't a good thing.

It probably would, but again, there are far better emotional responces that could be generated, such as resolve to do something about said dictator.

Ah no, that would be if the psychologist discovered your feelings for this girl.

Which brought me to last advice I'm going to give, if he's actually reading them, go to a doctor*.

<sub>*psychologist, of course.</sub>

It's not unhealthy to feel upset. It's unhealthy to pretend you're not.

If you weren't upset about the dictator you would have nothing to resolve.

Sure, but being obsessed is also unhealthy.

Yeah, see a therapist at least. You need to talk to a professional to make sure you don't have some hidden things in your mind, like violent urges that will be misdirected towards someone else.

Which is why I never said it was. There may be valid reasons why people get upset, but they're still not good reasons.

A good reason and a valid reason are the same thing where I come from... In fact, "good" and "valid" are synonyms. Care to expand on your nonsense?

I'm not sure if anyone has suggested this yet, but you need some professional counseling. I honestly do mean this in the nicest possible way.

A lot of people here see you as "emo", but I think the problem is much deeper than that. You need to start dealing with your issues, and I don't think that you helping yourself is enough... I mean you listen to depressing music, you can't get a hold of yourself when you are in situations that remind you of her, and you keep trying to justify your behaviour. You are unable to help yourself at this point, and you need to realize that.

Diana: you're third person to actually suggest that, if I didn't forget about somebody. Still no response from him to the last few posts except searching if "good" and "valid" are synonyms. Other than that, there are people who can get out of that state, but there's a point of no return (self return) and he's crossed it and don't have the guts to admit it.

I hear what you're saying, the answer is NO! Those two are not synonyms.

I could recommend that to half of A.cc. In fact, everybody can benefit from professional counseling. Unfortunately, professional counseling comes at a cost.

For the record, it has been suggested and I have considered it in the past, but I'm not to a point where I need it like some of you think.
[quote ]A lot of people here see you as "emo", but I think the problem is much deeper than that. You need to start dealing with your issues, and I don't think that you helping yourself is enough... I mean you listen to depressing music, you can't get a hold of yourself when you are in situations that remind you of her, and you keep trying to justify your behaviour.
</quote>
What do you mean by "you can't get a hold of yourself..."? Obviously I do get a hold of myself or I wouldn't function.

I wonder if psychologists ever diagnose "emo"... You're not children, grow up.

Nonsense. You can wallow in your emotions or put mind over matter and move on. Pretending you're not upset may be a very good way to help yourself get over something. I'm not saying that you lie to yourself about your situation, I'm saying you put your chin up, compose yourself and keep going - concern yourself with the people around you and not yourself.

You are confusing emotions with morals and beliefs. Being upset is emotional instability. In your case I'm sure it's driven by introspection and is therefore unhealthy.

Ask yourself why it upsets you to think about her. Was everything you did with her so unpleasant? Or is it a feeling of loss - the desire for something you'll never have? Either way you're the one generating your response. From an objective standpoint you could quite easily dwell on the positive memories and hope that she finds someone who is able to make her happy (which clearly isn't you!). Perhaps the first question you need to ask yourself is your motivation for begining this thread in the first place. You clearly had no intention to take anyone seriously, so what was it? - you just enjoy the attention?

And.. here's Johnny!
{"name":"The-Shining-Here-comes-Johnny.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/8\/c\/8c8066df0f03558d1bb88e24e122897d.jpg","w":311,"h":450,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/8\/c\/8c8066df0f03558d1bb88e24e122897d"}

Can you be more specific? Don't worry, point fingers, we did.

Anyway all of this is futile, he's not taking us seriously. On a sidenote - if number of people tell you something, think about it, there may be some truth in it.

I'd point fingers, but apparently, I bit them all off. Huh, fancy that. I had to use allegro 5.0 just to post this...

I'm not taking you seriously because you're not taking me seriously.

Why would I take the opinions of people that have never met me over my own beliefs?

Not to mention we are only digital infarctions of your mind (which is even more evidence you need to see a shrink pronto, being that you believe in digital fairies, you nutso).

Good as in beneficial. Care to explain how getting upset can be considered good in that sense?

edit:

That sounds strikingly like the "You're all wrong and I'm just misunderstood" response you hear from clinically depressed people.

No... Half of a.cc members are just socially inept, not mentally imbalanced. You are dealing with obsession, and you also need to learn some coping skills for life's tough situations (because clearly, listening to depressing music isn't much of a remedy).

Look at the title of this thread. You were SHAKING! The interesting part is that you didn't even see her... You saw her sister for god's sake. That is not a normal or healthy reaction. What's even more interesting is that you never even dated her. Like many high school friendships, this one dissolved, however you are unable to accept that. You are so obsessed with this girl (even though you never dated!) that you now view all women as evil. Yes, you are obsessed.

Please take your own advice. It would help you and your friends/family.

Well some of us try to, me for example. But I'm thinking about putting an end to my effort and start being cynical and sarcastic as Inphy.

Then ask yourself a question why, for god's sake, are you asking here on this forum?. I'll give you small hint - this is exatcly why are people making fun of you and why people didn't make fun of Miran, when he asked.

EDIT:

Yep, sounds like that.

Funny to hear that...

I'm sure if you talked to a medical professional you would get a much better explanation. In any case, getting upset is a natural and uncontrollable response. I haven't considered exactly why before, nor have I studied it, but obviously there is benefit or we wouldn't do it.

For example, when somebody you care about dies you need to deal with it. Regardless of how it can always be described as getting upset. Some people cry, some people lash out, some people build a mansion out of glass bottles, etc., etc. That's a natural response, and it can all be considered "getting upset." It's a necessary response, and though some ways of dealing with it are better than others, you're still upset regardless of how you handle it.

I assume you're implying then that I am mentally imbalanced. A qualified psychologist would never consider diagnosing a mental imbalance from a Web forum so what makes you superior? What are you basing your conclusion on?

Yeah, if you haven't noticed shaking is a common reaction to many emotions. Excitement, fear, anger, sadness. Shaking isn't enough to diagnose a mental imbalance.

It's not natural or healthy to get excited or nervous when you see somebody you know for the first time in months? Perhaps you missed the part that I was just as close to Jen's sister as I was to Jen.

I spent many years talking to a psychiatric specialist about the subject actually.

BBBzzzzzt. Wrong. It is natural, but its not uncontrollable. I have a down right nasty temper, and under most cases, I keep it well under check.

Not that nervous Specially if you really aren't connected in any significant way. Its obsession pure and simple (trust me, I know obsession, and yes, I do see a shrink, though not one that'll help with anything more than meds... Oh well).

What's the point in asking us then?

Purely for the attention. His favorite pastime, as can be seen here on the forum, is to argue pointlessly.

In his defence, he's only asked one question, even if it was a rather silly one. That being: why are women evil?

You are in denial.

I am saying that you are obsessive. I don't need to be a doctor to figure that one out, you've made it painfully clear.

I never said I was superior. But I did just say that I don't need any qualifications to understand the nature of your problem. Your obsession is so obvious that it comes out even in your posts.

Shaking is not a normal reaction for the situation you had described in your original post.

No, not really... Unless it was someone you thought was dead for quite some time.

To relate to other people's stories, for one. Sometimes this forum is interested in helping and being useful. Other times they seem to find being cruel more fun. After one or two start the rest just follow suit. That's when the value of what people say is lost.

I enjoy analyzing the reactions of people and observing how they interact so this thread is both interesting and entertaining for me.

All horses have four hooves.
All horses are animals.
Therefore, all animals have four hooves.

Or better:

The sun is cold. <-Faulty premise
The earths source of heat is the sun.
Therefore there is no global warming.

I recently heard on the radio that a similar global climate change happened in the 1800s or something and global warming was a fear and then it eventually returned to "normal".

Apparently some scientists are considering that the climate change is part of a natural cycle on Earth and some have suggested that CO<sub>2</sub> levels in the atmosphere are actually not abnormal. I don't know if there's any truth to it, however, I had considered the possibility myself.

Oh sure. Climate change is normal, and theres a reccuring pattern. However, the weather system is delicate. Any slight change out of the ordinary (above and beyond the normal patterns), will cause the normal patterns to be amplified or magnified.

In that 1800's occurance, places got warmer, some got colder. If it were to happen again (which it could, and the sun spot cycle sure isn't helping), it'd just be worse.

I've never found myself shaking uncontrollably.

I have, but it was during an earthquake.

I think I've found myself shaking a bit when being tormented by some 8/9th graders in grade 7/8. Basically whenever someone managed to get through my "firewall" (for my temper)

Though it wasn't all that severe.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but before this thread went into derailed, pointless arguing, with some advices among poking fun at you, there were people who tried to help you. You just didn't listen to them.

Oh well, this really explains a lot Where have Dustin laid his JS ignore addon?

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For future problems:

http://dr.allegro.cc/

Matthew, you really made my day

Matthew, you're the man!

I don't understand why you people are still trying to get some sense into bamccaig's skull. He's not depressed or anything, just emo. It looks worse because he immediately takes the opposite stance to whatever he's told, but I don't think that requires psychiatric help. Just wait till he grows up, I'm sure he'll be a functional citizen by the time he's 18 or 19!

Rapage: he reminds me one of our politicias, our ex-premier, he bahaves the same (changing stances).

Isn't that what all politicians do?

Ignore him and he'll go away and find some other saps to listen to him.

You don't know either of us. Oh, and calm down, there's no reason to get upset.
</quote>
Your letting your thoughts of one individual tear your life apart, and you're accusing me of being upset just because I'm pointing this out to to you?

While I've never met any of the people involved, it's obvious from what little you've told us that the people who do know you well (your 'circle of friends' as you call them) have been distancing themselves from you. Also, everyone who replied to this has more or less the same response, and some are themselves starting to distance themselves from you. Notice a connection (hint: It's not because we have a sheep-like mentality - we do actually think for ourselves - it's so obvious that your obsession has consumed you that we've all come to more or less the same conclusion).

I admit, I am making the assumption that some time in the past, each and every one of the members of your 'circle of friends' was friends with eachother. But even if that was not entirely the case, I still think you should make an attempt to rebuild the broken bridges between you and your friends.

Anyway, here's another assumption I'm making. Is the reason you posted this thread in the first place because you were hoping we would all gather round you in symapthy and re-inforce your belief that her and her friends were all wrong thand that you were right all along despite us not knowing any of you?

At least, try and look at the situation objectively.

Better yet, http://aaardvark.wackonet.net/aaagony/

AE.

PS. Here's another cheerful choon you can listen to.

If anything in life bothers you, it means your actions and beliefs don't follow the same path. Having bad feelings is a pointer for you to search within yourself for a way to fix whatever is wrong. Sometimes it can lead down to one of your most fundamental beliefs about reality, and then it'll take a lot of work to change.

The first step is to figure out what the real problem is. Remember that the only person you can change is yourself.

Ok, how do say your nickname?

Bam Keg?
B.A. McCaig?
Bah McCaig?

This thread seems to be going nowhere, so let's bring in an un-responded post from the thread that the OP linked to in his first post.

What I actually tried to say was "Do not listen to those that say that your English is shit. I like your linguistic style.". I deliberately tried to use English grammar wherever possible to try and get you to experience what the rest of us experience when we try and read your English. A more accurate translation according to myself would be "N'ecoutez pas a ceux qui dixent que ton Anglaise est merde. J'aime ton style linguistique", and an even more accurate translation according to Balelfish is "N'écoutez pas ceux qui indiquent que votre anglais est merde. J'aime votre modèle linguistique". As for "Faut pas écouter ceux qui te disent que ton Anglais est de merde. J'aime ton linguisteek style.", my attempt to translate it back into English yields "It is not necessary to listen to those who say to you that tour English is made of shit. I like your linguistic style".

When I read your posts, my brain automatically switches into "French grammar mode" which causes me not to notice anything unusual about your English. I just wonder how people who don't know French grammar cope with your posts. Regardless of what others may say, I think your style if English is cute. Keep it up.

AE.

"Yoo-hoo!"
"Who'se there?"
"It's You."
"You Who?"
"Who'se there?"
...

This thread needs more kittens!

http://taint.org/xfer/2004/kittens.jpg

Rampage: They are too sweet !

Sweetness will heal this thread's wounds.

This thread also needs a DreamCatcher.

Here my special new one for you all !

{"name":"592172","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/2\/b\/2be477d31f8e78181d75dac0f765056f.jpg","w":600,"h":600,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/2\/b\/2be477d31f8e78181d75dac0f765056f"}

[url="http://www.roflcat.com"]{"name":"excuse_me.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/1\/7\/17e141e02dfbaa65f7752c675f99d048.png","w":400,"h":400,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/1\/7\/17e141e02dfbaa65f7752c675f99d048"}[/url]

(p.s. if anyone knows where to get this pic without the caption (you can just see a .ru watermark at the end of this) I'd appreciate a link)

{"name":"catninja.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/7\/a\/7a33b70820924a6678e5ddbe6563c2b9.jpg","w":600,"h":450,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/7\/a\/7a33b70820924a6678e5ddbe6563c2b9"}

Andrei:
"N'écoutez pas a ceux qui disent que ton Anglaise est de merde. J'aime ton style linguistique"

Your translation is more accurate than the babelfish one, as the word "indiquer" is more for something that you can show.

I am worried by the fact that sometimes people can not really get what I mean because of my poor English skills, but heh, that the way it is. I do my best at trying to write some understandable English.

Also: even if there was some faults, your French is really understandable. Keep it up too !

MattyMatt: We are just derailing this silly thread !!

I have a slide show of these at work, and last time I viewed them I nearly lost my drink over a number of keyboards as I pissed myself with laughter. So I beg you, no more cat piccies. Think of the innocent keyboards.

I didn't read this whole thread but I scored 92 on that fucking long test. This means I'm not qualified to give advice. But the kitty pictures are fun.

I was a bit reluctant to post this image but since this thread has been derailed anyway:
http://www.allegro.cc/files/attachment/592177

How to properly deal with girls:

http://www.allegro.cc/files/attachment/592178

Lambik:

sigh
Someone has to post this one...
{"name":"270911970_db35fdd4ca.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/9\/f\/9f7fefdae5bf640f57e958ab037033f9.jpg","w":500,"h":375,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/9\/f\/9f7fefdae5bf640f57e958ab037033f9"}[/img]

http://www.calgaryscience.ca/courses/summercamps/projects/TecX.July10/Purple%20Bananas/images/FunnyPart-com-pikachu_mouse.jpg

I think this thread needs to get back on topic... wait, the topic is funny cat pictures, isn't it?

http://antoine-manseau.cyberportfolio.ca/public/demsam/Chat%20en%20l'air.jpg
http://antoine-manseau.cyberportfolio.ca/public/demsam/chat%20avec%20guitar.jpg
...

{"name":"ugly_cat.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/0\/1\/0141cbd16dbf181afb73744d6bd23438.jpg","w":422,"h":301,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/0\/1\/0141cbd16dbf181afb73744d6bd23438"}