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Limericks
Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

Participate in writing Limericks here.

Anyone can contribute. Most of the limericks are no good, but there are some very good ones. Especially if you follow the 'Naughty' link.

Two picks:

I once ate the head of a Bat It was then I tried fried rat It's good with spinach Yukey to finish, Was a helluva stench when I shat. Alone on the island were Peter and Dick They lay dreaming of shaggin' a chick When a canoe came ashore With an ugly old whore And they both took turns dipping their wick

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Years of thorough research have revealed that the red "x" that closes a window, really isn't red, but white on red background.

Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest.

X-G
Member #856
December 2000
avatar

There once was a man named Blenis...

--
Since 2008-Jun-18, democracy in Sweden is dead. | 悪霊退散!悪霊退散!怨霊、物の怪、困った時は ドーマン!セーマン!ドーマン!セーマン! 直ぐに呼びましょう陰陽師レッツゴー!

Neil Walker
Member #210
April 2000
avatar

Who went by the name of Dennis,

Talking of purile smut, there was a really funny bit on bbc radio 1 yesterday (you can get a podcast) where he phones people with silly names (usually Americans) and gets them to repeat them, yesterday he rang asking for 'a Randy Fanny'.

Neil.
MAME Cabinet Blog / AXL LIBRARY (a games framework) / AXL Documentation and Tutorial

wii:0356-1384-6687-2022, kart:3308-4806-6002. XBOX:chucklepie

Torbjörn Josefsson
Member #1,048
September 2000
avatar

When he went to town,

--
Specialization is for insects

CGamesPlay
Member #2,559
July 2002
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The pope came around,

--
Tomasu: Every time you read this: hugging!

Ryan Patterson - <http://cgamesplay.com/>

Neil Walker
Member #210
April 2000
avatar

And asked if he could swallow his penis.

Neil.
MAME Cabinet Blog / AXL LIBRARY (a games framework) / AXL Documentation and Tutorial

wii:0356-1384-6687-2022, kart:3308-4806-6002. XBOX:chucklepie

GullRaDriel
Member #3,861
September 2003
avatar

And you all should drink pastis

"Code is like shit - it only smells if it is not yours"
Allegro Wiki, full of examples and articles !!

Michael Faerber
Member #4,800
July 2004
avatar

Quick 'n dirty limerick by me:

There once was an old man from China, who thought that he never felt finer, he slipped on some rice, and thought that he dies he survived and got all rice for di(n)ner

The last line is not that good, but meh.

--
"The basic of informatics is Microsoft Office." - An informatics teacher in our school
"Do you know Linux?" "Linux? Isn't that something for visually impaired people?"

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
avatar

Quote:

Quick 'n dirty limerick by me:

I was expecting it to end with a different word that rhymes with China.

Michael Faerber
Member #4,800
July 2004
avatar

Quote:

I was expecting it to end with a different word that rhymes with China.

And which one? I don't get it ...

--
"The basic of informatics is Microsoft Office." - An informatics teacher in our school
"Do you know Linux?" "Linux? Isn't that something for visually impaired people?"

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
avatar

Quote:

And which one? I don't get it ..

Let's play "name that female body part"...


{"name":"AnatomyFemale.gif","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/f\/f\/ff485cc5de4c716edb935a18586c73c6.gif","w":602,"h":792,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/f\/f\/ff485cc5de4c716edb935a18586c73c6"}AnatomyFemale.gif

Steve++
Member #1,816
January 2002

my grandfather said:

There once was a lass from Japan
Who fell off the back of a tram.
Along came the conducter
Who jumped off and fucked her
And now she's pushing a pram.

My high school camp bus driver said:

There once was a lad from Calcutta
Who looked through a hole in the shutter.
All he could see
Was the fair maiden's knee
And the arse of the bloke who was up 'er.

Michael Faerber
Member #4,800
July 2004
avatar

Quote:

Let's play "name that female body part"...

OMG, how could I be that stupid?? ?? :o

You probably posted a picture, right? I didn't see it because I currently browse the web with pictures disabled, so I just see a black bar instead of the pic ...

--
"The basic of informatics is Microsoft Office." - An informatics teacher in our school
"Do you know Linux?" "Linux? Isn't that something for visually impaired people?"

ngiacomelli
Member #5,114
October 2004

Quote:

OMG, how could I be that stupid??

You browse without images. If you're not looking at pornography there's only like... four or five sites you must go on.

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
avatar

Quote:

You probably posted a picture, right?

Yes, an anatomical diagram.

Michael Faerber
Member #4,800
July 2004
avatar

Quote:

If you're not looking at pornography there's only like... four or five sites you must go on.

I know one! - it's called something like ... allegro.cc! ;D

Quote:

Yes, an anatomical diagram.

I have free internet traffic since about 5 minutes and was able to look at the picture now, but thanks anyway for the description. ;)

--
"The basic of informatics is Microsoft Office." - An informatics teacher in our school
"Do you know Linux?" "Linux? Isn't that something for visually impaired people?"

Richard Phipps
Member #1,632
November 2001
avatar

Quote:

Let's play "name that female body part"...

Those bones look painful.

Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

There was a young plumber from Leigh who was plumbing a girl by the sea. She said: "Stop your plumbing, there's somebody coming!" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"

[edit]
Ok, that was old, but a good one.

Here's a brand new:

A guy on allegro.cc complained 'bout his eyes once to me. "I'm trying to be sharp but still I don't C#. That's why I prefer cpp."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years of thorough research have revealed that the red "x" that closes a window, really isn't red, but white on red background.

Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest.

kdevil
Member #1,075
March 2001
avatar

Nice, except you rhymed sharp with sharp. :-/

-----
"I am the Black Mage! I casts the spells that makes the peoples fall down!"

Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

That's "be sharp" and "see sharp", a more seldom used way of rhyming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years of thorough research have revealed that the red "x" that closes a window, really isn't red, but white on red background.

Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest.

Michael Faerber
Member #4,800
July 2004
avatar

The C# limerick is good!

--
"The basic of informatics is Microsoft Office." - An informatics teacher in our school
"Do you know Linux?" "Linux? Isn't that something for visually impaired people?"

Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

Except that it's not dirty. Try instead to make a Limerick about coders who don't C# and probably have syphilis.

I don't C# :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years of thorough research have revealed that the red "x" that closes a window, really isn't red, but white on red background.

Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest.

Onewing
Member #6,152
August 2005
avatar

if(y+x==3
   && int(!mouse_b)) {
   alive = true;
   x += 2;
   return "allegro.cc";
}

------------
Solo-Games.org | My Tech Blog: The Digital Helm

kdevil
Member #1,075
March 2001
avatar

:o

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"I am the Black Mage! I casts the spells that makes the peoples fall down!"

James Stanley
Member #7,275
May 2006
avatar

It took me a while to get that. You have to sing it with rythm.

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