Yeah maybe illness is the wrong term, but abnormal brain activity or something to that effect.
Well I'm glad at least one person is interested in what I have to say here.

I find I have a very similar personality to you Bam. Just from reading your writing, and what you write. It might even be your altruistic nature that compelled you to empathize with how I felt and reply

I know many people think that the Myers Briggs personality test is meaningless because it's not scientific, but I got a lot out of it; I think like me you're an ISFJ (Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging).

I've had similar issues, when stress hormones get too elevated in me it feels like an out of body experience; I feel a certain way but know that it's logically not rational to feel that way. Unlike most of everyone here though, I'm 100% straight edge. I don't drink, smoke, coffee, nothing. I'm even very mindful of what I eat. It allows me to better control the variables that control me; if I feel a certain way I can just inspect the past 48 hours and look at what changed. Introducing too many variables would make that hard. So far there isn't a personal problem I could not solve by doing reflection and modifying my internal or external state to address it.

The mind really is very sensitive. Obsessions and compulsions raise my stress levels, and working in an office with people. Ever since I've been remote, my life has completely changed. I have not left the house since March, and I love it.... turns out I'm a lot more introverted than I ever thought, and it conflicts with my altruistic nature of worrying about others, and wanting to help everyone. I've learned to find a balance, but it's not easy, and can easily spiral if I'm not careful; but I've been doing really well with this and hopefully I can keep working remote.

We're just chemicals, and when there is a chemical unbalance it's like an out of body experience, it can get the better of you.

Edgar You have repeatedly built and attacked strawmen, not to mention the ad hominem attacks. I hope that now you realize this, you'll stop. I have not justified anybody murdering, but have defended killing in self defense, which you claim to support. In one obvious case of police malpractice that was brought up, I called for the offending police to considered for execution. In one obvious case of civilian malpractice that I brought up, I agreed that the police correctly responded with lethal force. What I object to in recent discussion include but are not limited to:
*Using statistically rare examples to claim system-wide corruption that requires gross overcorrection that would cause immediate harm.
*Ideology that shuns personal responsibility in favor of collective responsibility.
*A particular political persuasion's tendency to invalidly assign racial supremacist motives to their enemies.

If you remember our previous discussion about abortion, I disproved your argument by pointing out that based on hard science, fertilized embryos are a separate human organism with DNA unique from all others and sperm are a man's own cells containing only DNA from the man. Statistically nobody calls for a woman who had a miscarriage against her will to be imprisoned. Calling for users of the morning after pill to be met with prison time is perhaps slightly higher (since scientifically it can qualify as killing the living embryo) but is still fringe. Calling for masturbators to be met with justice is basically just the most fanatic practitioners of some religions. When you start putting qualifications on which living humans deserve the right to live, you go down a dangerous path. That's the moral position I have against abortion, based on the belief that killing should have a strong justification.

piccolo I agree that cannibalism is more of a social issue, but without studying it in detail it seems to me that animals generally would only eat their own as a last resort. I don't know if this is because predators know it is more dangerous to hunt other predators with comparable abilities or if survival of the species plays a part.

Edit: Opportunistic cannibals that don't kill their own, but would eat a corpse of their own species if they happened to come across it avoid those items of survival though.

Capital punishment is understably a divisive issue, but organisms do have a natural right to self-preservation so killing in self-defense is not so arguable. Killing in defense of others (let's say an example of this would be to kill somebody who has taken hostages) is much closer to self defense than execution. Perhaps incarceration is the only humane punishment, but it's hard for me to take a stance that no crime could ever warrant execution. Some acts are simply irredeemable, such as mass murder.

About the cancer analogy, a cell isn't a complex organism with its own higher thought processes. A cell isn't capable of making any autonomous decisions, it merely does what it is biologically designed to do or it malfunctions.

I think that I see what piccolo is saying, and it's once again very wise. The legal system arose as a form of revenge/deterrence. Instead of trying to understand why people steal or murder we just conclude that they're bad people and try to lock them away or kill them so society doesn't have to worry about them anymore.

That obviously doesn't solve the problem. It ignores it. And so the problem continues to occur. In some cases, the problem gets worse.

Ultimately, all humans (and all life forms) have unique experiences that shape the way they interact with other life forms. It's foolish to think, "I would never do that and therefore this person is wrong." That person is not you, and likely has had different experiences throughout their lives. They may have had different opportunities or endured different tribulations. They may have been treated by other people differently than you have. The complexity of inputs that defines each individual is unfathomable.

Ultimately, execution is wrong because human beings are fallible, and that goes for the judge/jury/executioner too. No matter how sure we are that we got it right there are still instances where we discover later that we got it wrong. One innocent person killed for crimes they did not commit is too many. That's exactly akin to murder, and turns all those responsible into murderers too. While it can be tempting to imagine a dangerous or crazy person no longer existing, that is a rather rudimentary instinct talking. That's not our intelligence.

It makes a lot more sense to be compassionate. To try to understand what makes people hurt others. And to do whatever we can to right the wrongs. In a perfect society where everyone was treated fairly and had every opportunity to easily succeed it might make sense to judge somebody that fails. Our societies are far from perfect though. Most people continue to suffer, and only a relatively few are privileged enough to lead happy and healthy lives. It's incredibly selfish to ignore the privileges we've had and harshly judge those that have not been so fortunate.

I think that the solution to murder, rape, theft, etc. is compassion, subsidized mental health assessment and treatment for all, and a universal livable income so that everyone's needs are comfortably met.

That's all very deep, piccolo. Part of me thinks you're a conspiracy nutjob, and part of me thinks you're a genius. Either way, I don't have the energy to do anything exceptional. All I can do for now is be myself. Continue to live my life within the constraints imposed upon me until such a time as I'm provoked to break from the rails. If I happen down a path of enlightenment great, but I'm unconvinced that there's any real substance to this so aside from getting stoned and letting my mind wander I don't think I'll be doing much to consciously pursue this knowledge.

That said, apparently my family name originates from "poets and philosophers". I found that quite fitting and neat. Probably just a happy accident/coincidence though.

In other news, I'm finally taking advantage of this beautiful weather and a work a laptop and doing some work on the deck:

@bamccaig :
Nice image. You made it in blender?