She'd already paid before I had the chance to offer. Guess I lucked out there.

awwhhh she wants to be you friend paying for the meal thinking that you will do the same next time.

drop that girl. you need something you can burp. so you can relive the pursuers of school life. if she has single girl friends then maybe keep her around.

tell her that "when i saw you i though we could fuck. you know what i mean to relive all this pressure from being in school but now i can even see us cause you got a boy friend sorry if i miss lend you or any thing. lunch was cool though "

she's cheep then, dump her.

Letting a girl pay for herself shows her that you are not a (male) chauvinist

In martial arts, this is known as a kiai.

AE.

If you had picked her up in your Ferrari, she would probably have let you pay for lunch.

Meeeeh.

If a good soul can translate that for me, because I can not see how to explain that in english:

"Si tu invites tu payes, question de politesse
Si tu propose d'y aller, ce n'est pas pareil, et la chacun pour soit."

And by the way, when you are living with your girl, you are in most case in the second option: What about going to the restaurant this put your time there ?

So basically I agree with you, and I have badly explained my thought.

Invite = You ask someone for being your guest
Asking = You ask for sharing a dinner

I am for sure not using the right words for the right things.

Since everyone seems to be putting in their two cents...

If you're sitting in your room waiting to hear her pass by your door, you're not getting out enough. I think you should start making friends to expand your social circle. You will meet more people and eventually become more accustomed to social situations.

In Canada, at least (and this is the country you want advice on, no? ) relationships don't normally start with a guy "asking a girl out." If the girls there are like the ones here, they will think that approach is childish. Do not put any faith in the concept that all you have to do is walk up to someone and say "will you go out with me?" to an orchestral swell and she either says no and you walk off dejected or she says yes as the fireworks go off overhead, and you walk off anyway and call her three days later to set up a date. You can't lay your cards all on the table like that, but not because of the risk of rejection--because, frankly, it's lame. To most girls, that's how it went in elementary school and high school. Face it, if you like a girl, then she has some redeeming qualities (cute, funny, whatever). You are not seeing in her what other people have ignored; lots of guys like her and she's been asked out before, plenty of times.

My point is that most relationships I've seen develop in university have started with two people meeting through their friends or through a common interest or situation, hanging out several times over the span of days or weeks, communicating non-verbally to each other that they're interested in each other, and then smoothly transitioning to spending time alone together. In my experience, most men who go with the "be confident, exude testosterone and ask her out" approach are either assholes or are asking out vapid whores. (No offense to anyone--I said most men, and I'm talking about the university crowd, not singles bars or high school.)

So get out there and make lots of friends. It's worth it on its own merits. I mean, you're in residence. There's no better time. You'll meet more women, and eventually you'll know if one of them wants to date you, and you'll learn the difference between someone showing interest in going out with you and a lonely person recognizing someone from her residence and sitting with them at lunchtime because it would be rude not to.

You could also try getting involved in extracurricular activities. I suggest drama for several reasons:
1) theatre is a lot of fun and very rewarding
2) you're probably sensitive enough to be a decent actor
3) theatre girls are generally attractive and easygoing
4) you always end up being very good friends with everyone in the cast by the time it's over -- free head start!
5) you tend to meet everyone in the theatre scene, not just in your play, because theatre people like to have parties.

My advice will work even if you still want to pursue this girl you have a crush on, because if you're only spending time with her and not having fun with other people she knows that she can have you without any effort, which is not attractive. Competition of any sort makes a person more desirable.

Your results may vary. Good luck!

OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh.

Now I get it.

Nonnus: That's what they tell me, anyhow. (Not after I try to ask them out, in case you're wondering. )

Possum: I don't think you're dumb, but you are asking for dating advice on a computer programming forum.

I maintain that if you're waiting around for the right moment to "ask her out," you're not going about it in a way that she's likely to respond well to; maybe inviting her to something in a group setting would be better. It just seems a little odd that you asked her out before knowing something pretty basic about her (that she has a boyfriend).

Then again, maybe she was deliberately withholding that information, but if she told you she misses him, to me that's a pretty clear signal that she's not interested.

And to all those people who are suggesting that he "cast a net as wide as possible" by serially asking out women and hoping for a good response: If you treat women like fish in the sea, you'll end up with a tuna.

Obviously if I misjudged you, I don't fully understand the situation you're in, and I'll admit that I have seen the net-casting approach work. I don't claim to be the only person here speaking from experience, but I am in university like you, and I do have a lot of female friends, and I have been on my share of dates, and I am in a relationship now.

I second the advice about not going to a movie theatre because it's too much of a formal date, especially if you're not sure if the person likes you.

Keep us posted.

Congrats on the new avatar Possumdude. (at least I've never seen it before)

Also, if I had opened a thread like this, it would have been titled "I am an idiot.", so I think you are much better off than I am

It means she wasn't really female.

Couldn't it be that she just wants to be friends ?