|
Post your lame puns/jokes |
kikabo
Member #3,679
July 2003
|
Q: What's brown and knocks on the window edit: I hate that joke, sorry just slipped out |
Neil Black
Member #7,867
October 2006
|
[quot]"...I was putting Slinky's on the escalator." I want to go do this right now. I hate living in a town with no escalators! "So they say the government has been spending $10,000 on a hammer and $15,000 on a screwdriver. The IRS sent me a bill for 25,000 dollars, so I sent them a Black and Decker circular saw and told them to keep the change." - somewhere on the internet
|
ixilom
Member #7,167
April 2006
|
Two men were driving a late night when they saw a hitchhiking nun. ___________________________________________ |
Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006
|
Two amoeba walk out of a bar/pub. One looks up and sees a street light/lamp and says "Say, is that the sun, or the moon?". The other turns to him and replies "I don't know, I'm not from around here.". Fozzie Bear. By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul. |
MiquelFire
Member #3,110
January 2003
|
A co-woker said: When a window washer applys for an IT job, does he/she put windows under experience? Not sure how that got brought up. --- |
gnolam
Member #2,030
March 2002
|
Quote: What do you get if you cross a pig with a chicken? Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? A: Nothing. You can't cross a scaler with a vector... -- |
Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001
|
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mouse? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest. |
TeamTerradactyl
Member #7,733
September 2006
|
gnolam: I just KNOW that one is going to be funny, but I'm trying to understand the play-on-words for "mosquito" and "vector"...
|
Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
|
vector: carrier of an infectious agent; capable of transmitting infection from one host to another; |
TeamTerradactyl
Member #7,733
September 2006
|
! Thanks, Matt. Every search for "vector" brought up programming jargon instead of anything linking mosquitoes. gnolam: that was excellent (and I learned a new word)!
|
Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
|
I suppose I should teach you how to fish. Enter "define:vector" into Google. |
Joel Pettersson
Member #4,187
January 2004
|
What did the doctor say to the patient? You sick bastard!
|
Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006
|
Possumdude0: That was Rodney Dangerfield. By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul. |
jhuuskon
Member #302
April 2000
|
Quote: Jimmy cracks corn and I don't care. Jimmy cracks corn and I don't care. Jimmy cracks corn and I don't care. So why am I singing his song! Bender said: Fry cracked corn and I don't care. Leela cracked corn and I don't care. Bender cracked corn and he is great! Take that you stupid corn!
You don't deserve my sig. |
Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
|
Matthew said: I suppose I should teach you how to fish. Enter "define:vector" into Google. Wow! Thanks, Matt! learn something new every day... They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
Ariesnl
Member #2,902
November 2002
|
Why does an architect have his house made backwards ? So he can watch tv at the same time. ( read it loud if you don't get it) Perhaps one day we will find that the human factor is more complicated than space and time (Jean luc Picard) |
miran
Member #2,407
June 2002
|
I don't get it. At the same time as what? -- |
GullRaDriel
Member #3,861
September 2003
|
- The yogurt, after some time, start to develop some culture
___________________________________________________________________________________
The taxi drives near "L'arc de Triomphe": Texan : "What is that ?" The taxi drives near "Notre Dame": Texan: "What is that ?" Now the taxi driver starts to be a little bit nervous. Texan: "What is that ?" ;-) ___________________________________________________________________________________ This is the transcript of the 'actual' radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authourities off the coast of Newfoundland. Canadian: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the captain of a US navy ship. I say again, divert your course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course. Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, I say again, thats one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call. ___________________________________________________________________________________ ( I am too lazy to translate ) Dans un hôtel, en France, un touriste français prend tranquillement son petit déjeuner : ___________________________________________________________________________________ Do you know the difference between a one minute blow job and a one minute ass fuck ? - Well, heh, no ? ___________________________________________________________________________________
"Code is like shit - it only smells if it is not yours" |
Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001
|
Quote: I am too lazy to translate
Babelfish said:
In a hotel, in France, a French tourist has his breakfast quietly:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest. |
GullRaDriel
Member #3,861
September 2003
|
Héhé Johan, even translated I can understand it ;-) "Code is like shit - it only smells if it is not yours" |
miran
Member #2,407
June 2002
|
Quote: Héhé Johan, even translated I can understand it ;-) And it probably even sounds like perfect English to you, right? -- |
GullRaDriel
Member #3,861
September 2003
|
Miran said: And it probably even sounds like perfect English to you, right? There was Miran's contrib to the "Post your lame puns/jokes" topic ;-) "Code is like shit - it only smells if it is not yours" |
Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001
|
Babelfish also said:
What is liquid than water? Leider ist es nicht so lustig wie auf Deutsch. Also sprach Babelfisch: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest. |
Slartibartfast
Member #8,789
June 2007
|
A classic excerpt from THHGTTG: Also a classic insult: (might suffer a bit due to translation) ---- |
Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006
|
By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul. |
|
|