Send in your jokes!

The one made me laugh last was:

A little old lady was late for her women's circle meeting, soon she saw the blue lights in her mirror.

Cop says "License & registration, please"
Lady says "I'm sorry, officer! I haven't had a license for 3 years, since my fourth DUI conviction"
Cop: "Have you got registration?"
Lady: "No, I stole this car from some guy"
Cop "Where is he now"
Lady "I chopped him into bits and stuck him in the trunk"

Cop backs off to his car and calls for backup. Backup cops come up with guns drawn.
New cop "Got any ID?" Lady shows valid drivers license.
New cop: "Is this your car?" Lady pulls out current registration & incsurance info from glovebox.
New cop: "The first cop said you'd murdered the man who owned this car and lost your license to driving drunk!"
Lady "Well he lies so much he probably said I was speeding too!"

Don't forget that the father was a carpenter.

I believe Jesus followed his father's footsteps. Until he switched father. Whose footsteps to follow. You're probably right about Gepetto. But my father-in-law is a carpenter and he has made toys, too. A toy maker, especially Gepetto, used to be a subclass of a carpenter.

It's quite likely that rabbi Yeshua ben Yosef would learn his father's trade growing up, so both are probably accurately described as carpenters.

...I don't get it. Did you mis-spell dead? Did his mom have a sex change? Does it have something to do with the age of the characters? Or maybe their names - a play on words.

Sorry I made a typo, there is "dead".

Ok maybe with "death". Ich bin jetzt verrückt von deutsh Austauschschülern. After this week they're here and week there I totaly suck at english.

Well, actually you have to see it. That was the first thing that came to my memory when I read this thread.

Hehehe, I like that one, Andrei

The guy walks into the bar, followed by a harem of beautiful women, flashes a huge bankroll of bills buying the whole bar a round. Then a doll-sized midget jumps out of his vest pocket and kicks over his neighbors beer. The new guy says "Oh, jeez, I'm sorry! Let me buy you a new one!" and gets him another beer. Five minutes later it happens again. The victim says "I don't want another beer as much as I want to know what's the story with that little guy". New guy: "Well, I was stranded on a desert island, and found a magic lamp. The genie said I could have 3 wishes, so first I asked for all the money I could ever spend. My second wish was to always be in the company of all the beautiful women I could want. My third wish was for a twelve inch prick"

I didn't get it

X-G:
To really get OICW's joke you need to have seen it in Battle Star Galactica. Humanity has been wiped out in a created robot backstabbing plot much like the matrix. So when asked where his mother is, the boy is being kind of acidic when he replies to the old man, "She's dead, where's yours?"

On a related note, BSG is an absolutely AWESOME series. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't like shows with atmospheres similar to Star Trek, but I've been completely blown away by this series. I'm glad it's still ongoing (third or fourth season I think).

It's still not a joke.