Send in your jokes!
The one made me laugh last was:
A little old lady was late for her women's circle meeting, soon she saw the blue lights in her mirror.
Cop says "License & registration, please"
Lady says "I'm sorry, officer! I haven't had a license for 3 years, since my fourth DUI conviction"
Cop: "Have you got registration?"
Lady: "No, I stole this car from some guy"
Cop "Where is he now"
Lady "I chopped him into bits and stuck him in the trunk"
Cop backs off to his car and calls for backup. Backup cops come up with guns drawn.
New cop "Got any ID?" Lady shows valid drivers license.
New cop: "Is this your car?" Lady pulls out current registration & incsurance info from glovebox.
New cop: "The first cop said you'd murdered the man who owned this car and lost your license to driving drunk!"
Lady "Well he lies so much he probably said I was speeding too!"
Jesus wanders around in the desert. He meets an old man and says:
Jesus: "Hello, old man. Where are you going?"
Old man: "I'm looking for my long lost son."
Jesus: "Well, how does he look like? Maybe I can help."
Old man: "He has nails driven through his hands and feet."
Jesus: "Father!"
Old man: "Pinocchio!"
Don't forget that the father was a carpenter.
Don't forget that the father was a carpenter.
Wasn't Gepetto a toymaker, and Jesus the carpenter?
I believe Jesus followed his father's footsteps. Until he switched father. Whose footsteps to follow. You're probably right about Gepetto. But my father-in-law is a carpenter and he has made toys, too. A toy maker, especially Gepetto, used to be a subclass of a carpenter.
Ok here's one from Battlestar Galactica pilot movie:
Galacticas XO (50 or 60 years guy named Tigh) talks to 10 years boy (Boxey):
Tigh: "Where's your mom?"
Boxey: "She's death, and where's yours?"
It's quite likely that rabbi Yeshua ben Yosef would learn his father's trade growing up, so both are probably accurately described as carpenters.
More Jesus stuff (don't get me wrong, I am Christian).
Youths of today are a bit like Jesus. They live at home until they are 30 and if they ever do something, it is a miracle.
...
Not native English shrink greets his patient: "Who are you today?"
Boxey: "She's dad, and where's yours?"
...I don't get it. Did you mis-spell dead? Did his mom have a sex change? Does it have something to do with the age of the characters? Or maybe their names - a play on words.
she's dad...
I thought I posted this before, but search can't find 'fighting' for me.
A little boy comes running up to a cop and yells "Please help! My dad's in a fight with another man!" The cop follows the boy around the corner, where sure enough there are two men duking it out. The cop asks the boy which one is his father, the boy says "I don't know, that's what they're fighting about!"
Sorry I made a typo, there is "dead".
It still doesn't make any sense...
Ok maybe with "death". Ich bin jetzt verrückt von deutsh Austauschschülern. After this week they're here and week there I totaly suck at english.
No, "dead" is right, it's just not a joke. There's no punchline or anything.
Well, actually you have to see it. That was the first thing that came to my memory when I read this thread.
A man walks into a pub with a huge orange where his head should be. Somebody goes up to him and asks why he's got an orange instead of a head.
"Well, it's like this", he sais. "I met this genie who offered to give me three wishes. Firstly, I wish I had loads of money. So all of a sudden, I become rich. Secondly, I wish I was attractive to women. So with a click of the fingers from the Genie, I become attractive."
"But what about the orange?"
"Oh that?" he said. "For my third wish, I wished that my head was replaced by a giant orange."
AE.
Hehehe, I like that one, Andrei 
That joke was awesome. 
The guy walks into the bar, followed by a harem of beautiful women, flashes a huge bankroll of bills buying the whole bar a round. Then a doll-sized midget jumps out of his vest pocket and kicks over his neighbors beer. The new guy says "Oh, jeez, I'm sorry! Let me buy you a new one!" and gets him another beer. Five minutes later it happens again. The victim says "I don't want another beer as much as I want to know what's the story with that little guy". New guy: "Well, I was stranded on a desert island, and found a magic lamp. The genie said I could have 3 wishes, so first I asked for all the money I could ever spend. My second wish was to always be in the company of all the beautiful women I could want. My third wish was for a twelve inch prick"
Damn those wishes for infinite riches - do you know what that'd do to the economy's inflation?
That joke was awesome.
I didn't get it 
It's a meta joke.
X-G:
To really get OICW's joke you need to have seen it in Battle Star Galactica. Humanity has been wiped out in a created robot backstabbing plot much like the matrix. So when asked where his mother is, the boy is being kind of acidic when he replies to the old man, "She's dead, where's yours?"
On a related note, BSG is an absolutely AWESOME series. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't like shows with atmospheres similar to Star Trek, but I've been completely blown away by this series. I'm glad it's still ongoing (third or fourth season I think).
To really get OICW's joke you need to have seen it in Battle Star Galactica.
I saw that episode just a couple of weeks ago. I didn't even realize that line was supposed to be a joke. 
It's still not a joke.
Ok let's try something else:
On the wild west a man comes into the saloon and from the doors he shoots the glass in the barmans hand and says:
"I'm Billy the kid."
Later another man comes into the saloon and shoots of the barmans cigar and says:
"I'm Lucky Luke."
Later comes third man into the same saloon and shoots off the barmans head and says:
"I'm sorry."
Such lameness... 
A man walks into a bar with a bit of tarmac under his arm and says to the barman:
"A beer for me and one for the road thanks"
Such lameness...
A man walks into a bar...
Ouch!
That one works good verbally. 
"Ok, I got one. So this man walks into a bar and says 'Ouch!'" 
Another verbal one..
Knock Knock.
"Who's there?"
Interrupting pirate.
"Inter"--- ARRRR!!
(Hopefully the control flow of the joke is clear enough)
A Scottsman walks into a bar...
Och!
A dyslexic walks into a bra...
An allegroid walks into a bar.
Wait, allegroids don't go outside...
Enjoy your H5N1.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
DUNG!