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mike jackson verdict.
Neil Walker
Member #210
April 2000
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Ah, I give up, lets just stick to maths and relationship problems ;)

No! i won't give up.

Here are some more jokes of the same style. Please confirm how many you understood.

Neil.

My wife's gone to the West Indies
-Jamaica?
-No, she went of her own accord.

-My wife's gone to the Indian coast
-Goa?
-Phwoar! I'll say!

-My wife's gone to St Petersburg.
-Is she Russian?
-No, she's taking her time.

-My wife's gone to Northern Italy
-Genoa?
-I should think so, we've been married for 20 years.

-My wife's had an accident on a volcano
-Krakatoa?
-No.
She broke her leg.

-My wife's gone mad in Venezuela
-Caracas
-Yes, absolutely loopy

-My wife's gone to the Welsh border.
-Wye?
-Search me.

-My wife's gone to the botanical gardens.
-Kew?
-Yes, it was rather busy.

-My wife's gone to Malawi
-Lilongwe?
-Yes, about 5000 miles

-My wife's got an upset tummy in Laos
-Inkhazi?
-Yes, constantly.

-My wife's gone on a singing tour of South Korea
-Seoul?
-No, R&B

-My wife caught a cold in the Gulf
-Qatar?
-Yes, she was coughing up greenies for weeks

-My wife had an accident in Slovenia
-Bled?
-like a stuck pig.

-My wife's parents are from Croatia
-Split?
-No, they're still happily married.

-My wife went to a very bad concert in South East Asia
-Singapore?
-Terrible. And the rest of the band sucked too.

-My wife went on a sailing course in Poole
-In Dorset?
-Yes, she'd recommend it to anyone.

-My wife smoked a joint near Manchester
-In Hale?

Neil.

Neil.
MAME Cabinet Blog / AXL LIBRARY (a games framework) / AXL Documentation and Tutorial

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Thomas Harte
Member #33
April 2000
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And the sad thing is that you can make a career out of this and probably get a Saturday evening show on ITV1.

X-G
Member #856
December 2000
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All of those jokes are "jokes of misunderstanding"; in other words, while you asked "Jamaica?" the other person heard "You make her?", and hilarity ensues as a result of the confusion.

That's not the case with the Michael Jackson joke. You can't mishear "What DVD should we get?", and the joke doesn't suggest he did at any rate. And in either case, "getting" something doesn't even remotely allude to sex, so the joke doesn't even begin to allude to his alleged paedophilia! The "joke" has no connection to any exploitable quality of the victim, and in essence completely lacks any kind of humor.

--
Since 2008-Jun-18, democracy in Sweden is dead. | 悪霊退散!悪霊退散!怨霊、物の怪、困った時は ドーマン!セーマン!ドーマン!セーマン! 直ぐに呼びましょう陰陽師レッツゴー!

Thomas Harte
Member #33
April 2000
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Quote:

That's not the case with the Michael Jackson joke. You can't mishear "What DVD should we get?"

The joke didn't feature that dialogue.

Quote:

"getting" something doesn't even remotely allude to sex

The joke therefore alludes both to Michael's habit of having young boys populate his home and to the public's automatic connection of this with paedophilia.

Quote:

The "joke" has no connection to any exploitable quality of the victim, and in essence completely lacks any kind of humor.

The same can be said of any dialogue taken in abstract. Humour is a multifaceted thing. For example, I don't find South Park even slightly funny. A google search for "South Park quote" in an effort to find what people who like it consider to be the funny bits reveals this as the first piece of multicharacter dialogue on the top returned result (i.e. http://www.southparkquotes.com/):

Quote:

Cartman: Hey! I'm taking my pig and ... screw you guys, I'm going home. This whole idea's stupid anyway.
Kyle: What the hell would you know you fat sweaty Mongoloid, you never get higher than a D.
Cartman: Hey! Why don't you go back to San Francisco with the rest of the Jews?
Kyle: There's no Jews in San Francisco, you retard!
Cartman: I'll kick you in the nuts!

Yet a lot of people consider that to be a really funny television show.

Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
avatar

The Jackson joke, especially as told here, isn't funny. (It's "Aladdin", by the way.)

Quote:

Michael said to Debbie one night, "I fancy some
entertainment, what shall we do?".
To which Debbie replied " I know we'll get a video".
Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin".
Debbie said speedily "No Michael, You have been
in trouble for that before"

That format actually makes sense and is more along the line of the long list of dumb jokes posted above.

When googling for the proper format of the joke (as the way it was told here wasn't even funny in the least little bit), the first snippet said: The "Aladdin" one was a bit lame. Google knows.

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
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Quote:

Yet a lot of people consider that to be a really funny television show.

That's because it's vulgar. The public likes vulgar things. Look at the content that fills the entertainment industry. It it's going to be popular, it's got to have violence, swearing, and sex. People of this day and age what everything here and now. They don't want to wait for a good story to unfold. They want it now.

Sad isn't it? :-/

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X-G
Member #856
December 2000
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Quote:

The joke didn't feature that dialogue.

It did to a close enough approximation.

Quote:

That format actually makes sense and is more along the line of the long list of dumb jokes posted above.

Thank you! Yes, that version does make sense. Now we can clearly see the "misheard what they said" element in action, and how it contributes to hilarity!

Quote:

Yet a lot of people consider that to be a really funny television show.

I doubt that they consider if funny solely based on the kind of quote you posted there. In fact, I usually find South Park funny - yet that quote was patently unfunny. It's also not the reason South Park is funny.

--
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Sepiroth
Member #5,846
May 2005
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Ooherr! Just thought I'd confirm the "Aladdin" joke....

"Lad" means boy, like, "he's a good lad really", so, MJ saying "Lets get Aladdin" would be heard as "Lets get a lad in, or, "Lets get a boy in".

Got it now?

EDIT: Police have raided MJ's house looking for drugs. They found class A's in the kitchen, class B's in the living room, and class 2c in the bedroom! Boom boom!

Richard Phipps
Member #1,632
November 2001
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My god! Neil's right, some people here are humour stunted. :o

Soga
Member #4,589
May 2004

That's what happens when you code too much... you turn into a zombie. :o

RallyMonkey
Member #4,615
May 2004
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See, ML's is actually funny. I got the first joke. But I didn't think it was funny.

NOTICE: This post's grammar/spelling/puncuation is definitive. English is frequently inaccurate.
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Derezo
Member #1,666
April 2001
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I don't think it's that we're humour stunted. I think I have a decent sense of humor, but that just wasn't funny. ML's version is far better, though.

The only time my sense of humor disappears is when my boss tells a joke.. because it's always about me getting fired or not getting paid. ;)
I remember one time he was serious though and I laughed. That went over well, because he immediately changed his mind ;)

Me: "Do I get paid for the time management seminar because I would normally work that day?"
Boss: "No way."
Me: "*chuckle*"
Boss: ". ... .. well, sure."

I really thought he was joking at first.. but his response to my laugh showed otherwise.

"He who controls the stuffing controls the Universe"

spellcaster
Member #1,493
September 2001
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Well, Matthew's version of the joke was at least recognizable as a joke. The version that causes all this discussion here was told as badly as possible. And if you spoil a joke, it's just not funny.

And even Matthew's version isn't that funny because he move in question should be "Agetinalad" and not aladdin.

On the original topic: Innocent until proven guilty, and In dubio pro reo are 2 very important principles. If we start ti question those principles we might get a form of jurisdiction we won't like.

--
There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

Am I the only one here who found the mere existence of a pun insanely funny? :-/ ;D

A few jokes I came up with on IRC on the spot a while ago:

<entheh> so I'm thinking about designing this new sport
<entheh> basically, contestants have to do some kind of flying kick and make a dent as high up the wall as they can
<entheh> we then use chalk to mark a line where the dent is
<entheh> whoever has the highest kick line wins
<entheh> what, you were expecting a punch line?
<indeterminatus> Ah, you mean like in ... I don't know ... "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", or "Hero Yin Chiang", or "Legend of the Samurai", or ... take any (old) martial-arts movie
<entheh> ;;
<entheh> s/designing this new sport/organising a competition/

<entheh> I hurt my arm yesterday
<entheh> it happened when I went to the village of the little workers
<entheh> I was crouching watching them build a house out of wood
<entheh> one of them knocked his toolbox off and it hit my foot
<entheh> I think there's something embedded in my toe. It's a little saw
<entheh> ok, s/arm/foot/
<entheh> I didn't think that one through
<entheh> and it only works for Brits - we pronounce saw and sore the same

<entheh> so there was this guy who spent all day walking around at Tsujiki Fish Market
<entheh> then he stole a handbag and went home
<entheh> his flatmate asked him where he got it and he said he bought it
<entheh> then his flatmate said "no, no, no, something smells fishy here ..."
<entheh> BADADUM
<entheh> mmm, fish
<entheh> wait, I think it's Tsukiji
<entheh> ore tte baka
<entheh> I knew Tsujiki looked wrong

<entheh> Right, so leading researchers came up with a complement to e-mail, called fe-mail
<entheh> the difference being it only works if you're nice to it
<entheh> and Bob was trying to send one to Fred
<entheh> but Fred didn't get it
<entheh> "Are you sure? I definitely sent it. OK, I'll send it again."
<entheh> so he sent it again, and it still didn't get there
<entheh> "Maybe you did something wrong." "No, I definitely resent it." "Well no WONDER!"
<entheh> badabing

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

Kanzure
Member #3,669
July 2003
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You're all pathetic. You'd be yelling "get 'er done".
Drop your crappy South Park humor for the far superior British Comedy Stylings of Monty Python.

Oh, and Seinfeld. ;)

Instead of laughing at the person who is confused, try laughing at the situation with the characters involved. For example, if you walked into a Seinfeld episode in mid-story near nothing would be funny (unless you have seen the episode before). The same with Monty Python. Through the clever use of character and plot development, humor can be generated (with the help of witty placement).

Thomas Harte
Member #33
April 2000
avatar

Monty Python's okay, but Seinfeld is better. Conversely, I think that even Will & Grace is better than South Park!

EDIT: damn your edit.

EDIT2: Despite words said so far, Spaced remains my favourite sitcom.

Kanzure
Member #3,669
July 2003
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Will & Grace is about gay people, used to ammuse the crowd. Does anybody else find this .. sickening? Is that what people want to watch? Over Star Trek?! How can blowing objects up be less cool than gay people talking about how much sex they're not getting? (Or whatever it is the show is actually about.)

Quote:

EDIT: damn your edit.

:)
I couldn't leave him out. I've found that only his show (and comedy routines) are funny, but his character in the show is actually quite dull (well, the character is better than a lot other shows - heh). It's Kramer and George that really make it up. :)

Karadoc ~~
Member #2,749
September 2002
avatar

The ML version of the joke is much better. Here's why:
- There is not already 'a lad' in the house.
- They are talking and general entertainment as well us DVDs.
The context is such that it is actually plausible that he might have said 'a lad in'. In the first version, this is not so - because it makes no sense to say it then. It might as well have gone like this:
"What flavour icecream do you like, Michael?"
"Get a lad in"
Do you see what I mean? Saying 'get a lad in' in the context of the first joke makes no sense at all.

Some of you guys need to get a sense of humour. Thinking something is funny just because you know it is meant to be a joke is just silly. You need to refine your judgement. Having a good sense of humour does not mean that you find every joke funny. :P

-----------

Thomas Harte
Member #33
April 2000
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Karadoc said:

The ML version of the joke is much better. Here's why:
- There is not already 'a lad' in the house.
- They are talking and general entertainment as well us DVDs.
The context is such that it is actually plausible that he might have said 'a lad in'. In the first version, this is not so - because it makes no sense to say it then. It might as well have gone like this:
"What flavour icecream do you like, Michael?"
"Get a lad in"
Do you see what I mean? Saying 'get a lad in' in the context of the first joke makes no sense at all.

The original joke went like this:

Sepiroth said:

I was round at MJ's last night. I suggested we get a DVD, "what should I get" I asked Micheal.

"Get aladin" he replied. Disgusting.

To describe the second 'joke' interpretation, in a long winded fashion:

  • Sepiroth was at Michael Jackson's house

  • Sepiroth suggested they get a DVD

  • Michael Jackson neither confirmed nor denied his feelings on DVDs such that it did not become the operative plan

  • Sepiroth asked Michael what he should get for the evening

  • Michael, impliedly rejecting the idea of a DVD suggested they get a lad in

Since it's one of those 'jokes' that relies on you thinking certain things are happening and then suddenly discovering an alternate interpretation then this all makes sense as a 'joke' and gives the story plausability. Here is another story in a similar vein:

Me: I believe that tonight we should order Chinese food. What should we get?
My friend: I think we should get Italian

You seem to be extending the undisputed argument that it is a poor joke to argue that it doesn't make sense. Which it does.

kanzure said:

I couldn't leave him out. I've found that only his show (and comedy routines) are funny, but his character in the show is actually quite dull (well, the character is better than a lot other shows - heh). It's Kramer and George that really make it up.

I find George to be the funniest character. I'm not especially enamoured of Kramer for the simple reason that they seem to find some stupid slapstick thing for him to do almost every episode and I've never found slapstick funny. He's often very funny too though. I don't remember the exact dialogue, but this made me laugh:

Quote:

Elaine: He smelt of alcohol
Jerry: You can't smell alcohol on people
Elaine: You can too

(Kramer enters)

Jerry: Kramer, would you get drunk so that we can smell you?
Kramer: No need to get me drunk - you can smell me right now

Similarly I often find Jerry to be quite funny. His standup segments are very patchy but some of his dialogue is good. I just got season 4 on DVD, literally today, and although I paraphrase again I found the following quite funny:

Quote:

(Jerry answers the phone)
Jerry: Am I interested in cheap long distance calls? Look, I'm kind of busy right now - do you mind if I call you back later at home?

No, I suppose you don't want people calling you at home?

Well now you know how I feel. (hangs up)

Also I find a lot of his dialogue with George in the restaurant to be very funny. The character who I find least funny is Elaine, but I'd still keep her in the show.

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

Quote:

Thinking something is funny just because you know it is meant to be a joke is just silly.

Laughter is very healthy. What do you care if people like me, my mother and my extra-special friend in Japan find the silliest things funny? :)

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (And women ...)

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

Kanzure
Member #3,669
July 2003
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Quote:

Similarly I often find Jerry to be quite funny. His standup segments are very patchy but some of his dialogue is good.

Yes.

Quote:

Elaine: Is it possible that I'm not as good looking as I think I am?
Jerry: Anything's possible.

;D

Quote:

George fakes being handicapped, ends up getting a motorized wheel-chair, and rides it around Jerry's apartment.
Jerry: Well, you'll be glad to know that you're going to hell at a maximum of three miles per hour.

:)

Neil Walker
Member #210
April 2000
avatar

Quote:

Also I find a lot of his dialogue with George in the restaurant to be very funny.

Well, I can't be bothered with high-brow comedy rubbish. Give me Bottom any day ;)

Richie : Why are the Scots such arseholes, Eddie?
Eddie : Do you mind? I happen to be part Scottish myself, you know!
Richie : Really, Eddie? Which part?
Eddie : My arsehole.

Richie : Let's just be economical with the truth, errrm, something, buck, yeah hot young buck.
Eddie : What about badger?
Richie : No, no I'm more a sort of...
Eddie : HEDGHOG!
Richie : No fox! That's good, no that is good.
Eddie : Stoat!
Richie : Foxy Stoat? Yeah! It's gotta a ring to it... foxy stoat seeks...
Eddie : Pig!
Richie : Foxy Stoat Seeks Pig! Oh Shut up Eddie!

Richie : Before you go say something nice.
Eddie : Breasts!
Richie : No.
Eddie : Lager!
Richie : No, something else.
Eddie : I'm sorry Rich, but breasts and lager are the only nice things I know.

Now thats quality :)

Neil.

Neil.
MAME Cabinet Blog / AXL LIBRARY (a games framework) / AXL Documentation and Tutorial

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Karadoc ~~
Member #2,749
September 2002
avatar

Quote:

Laughter is very healthy. What do you care if people like me, my mother and my extra-special friend in Japan find the silliest things funny? :)

Hey, don't get me wrong. Laughter is good. Silly things are often funny. I wouldn't care about that at all.
What I was really trying to do is defend against people telling us to get a sense of humour! I thought the joke was completely stupid - so did some others; that's why I made the comment that a good sense of humour is not equilvalent to finding every joke funny. I do get the original version of the joke - that isn't the problem; it's just that it is a poor joke. Even the slight modification in ML's version makes the joke so much better. Like with most things, there are good jokes, and there are bad jokes; that joke was a bad joke. (In my opinion, obviously.)

Enough! This whole discussion has become a joke. I'll say no more about it.

-----------

Kanzure
Member #3,669
July 2003
avatar

No, this discussion has become useless and a waste. A joke provides none of these characteristics.

Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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yeah, that joke is purely retarted. It's like that greasy kid in grade school that comes up to you (I shall call him Nelson):

Nelson: "Hey did you hear that Michal Jackson Joke?"
Me: "wel.."
Nelson: <says joke> "wah! wah! weh! >SNORT< wah wah weh!"
Me: "..."
Nelson: "get it?! >snort<"
Me: ::)
Nelson: "a-lad-in? >SNORT< a... LAD.... IIN??"
Me: :(
Nelson: "you're stupid!"

It's one of those jokes.

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