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Really distasteful experience
Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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It got about as much enthusiasm as you would expect. Yet here I am, still :-/

I think this kinda defines the majority of us here. We've all been through the burners. Yet, for whatever reason, we're still hangin out.

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Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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Question asked. Problem resolved nicely.

Question asked. False alarm. Everybody happy.

Posted a game without a screenshot and the required files that most people would need to run it. Politely shown how to embed a screenshot and asked to provide missing files. Didn't do the latter.

Asked a UI question which Edgar patiently recommended using a UI. amarillion gave some tough love answer about either use what tools have already been made or be prepared to roll your own. Wasn't shooting flowers out of his butt, but it also wasn't rude. More dry and to the point, which is how most us are here.

Then this thread.

So no, this isn't a kumbaya circle where we pump each other up with flattering praise, but it is a place where you can get a lot of good help if you just listen to advice and realize that you are going to be the one that has to do most of the work.

Yes, some of the people here are too quick to be jerks to others, but I don't really see that here.

jmasterx
Member #11,410
October 2009

I carefully read all prior threads prior to posting; from what I saw, this is someone who is all smiles until you do or say something that does not match their expectation. Then they become a completely different person, verging on BPD or bipolar behavior.

There was nothing said on any of those threads that merited that kind of reaction.

And then on top of that, the justification is, "I've made all these contributions to OSS and therefore I am owed respect. You owe it to me to check out my game because of the contributions I've made."

And so this seems to me like a person that will very quickly become volatile because they very easily feel victimized and threatened by perceiving someone's actions or dialog as hostile when there is no hostility.

So my gut reaction with these kinds of people, since logical reasoning will not work, is to feed back to them what they give off in hopes that they will go... oh oh.... hmmm yeah okay I guess I was like that too; but I didn't see it as a strategy with a high chance of success, as the results demonstrated. He lacks emotional intelligence. Not everyone here is suited for customer service or support, sometimes we can be blunt or misunderstood, or give tough love; But I think we all care and we all mean well; I just don't think it's a problem with us here at a.cc; I think he has certain expectations that are unrealistic. He feels that by doing something for others, we owe it to him to pay it back, out of respect; a debt of gratitude... life does not work that way; especially not in a forum full of logical and philosophical devs. If you start with the assumption that someone means well and work from there you'll get much better results than starting with the assumption that someone is a hostile troll.

I do think in his case it's a deeper problem that we here at a.cc are not equipped to fix. Knowing how to work with all kinds of personality types effectively is critical in software development... well any field really... The way he flipped on some of those other threads is not rational behavior, and has nothing to do with anyone here in particular; I can guarantee you this has and will happen again with other people and him... He's a good person but somewhere along the way something happened and now he is like this...

There are a lot of people like this, but it's hard to help them because it's such a deep, complex issue, often involving trust.

Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
avatar

So no, this isn't a kumbaya circle where we pump each other up with flattering praise

See now, Matthew, that's just a great thing to say. You're an amazing person. Just amazing all-around. Go you! :-*

jmasterx said:

There was nothing said on any of those threads that merited that kind of reaction.

Now me, I'm an eternal empathetic. I try to see and understand how people can get into these emotional states - usually it's a combination of shitty things that are piling up and there needs to be a vent. It's gotten me into trouble, though because honestly that kind of behavior is completely inappropriate and I'm less likely to take it from the perspective that it requires a disciplined response.

Quote:

it's hard to help them because it's such a deep, complex issue, often involving trust.

Agree. Oftentimes other people's personalities shouldn't be your project. Voicing clearly and objectively what is going on can help, but there's a limit to how much you can do.

edit:

Quote:

So my gut reaction with these kinds of people, since logical reasoning will not work, is to feed back to them what they give off in hopes that they will go... oh oh.... hmmm yeah okay I guess I was like that too; but I didn't see it as a strategy with a high chance of success, as the results demonstrated.

Oh yea, this doesn't always work. Sometimes it backfires because the person is so low in conscientiousness (either as a personality trait or because of immediate circumstances), that they'll simply take it as affront and not see it as a reflection or act. It's even been used against me as evidence that I'm the perpetrator which is just stupid.

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Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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See now, Matthew, that's just a great thing to say. You're an amazing person. Just amazing all-around. Go you! :-*

Thanks for ruining my day. >:(

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I suspect that the OP is somewhat of a perfectionist, and discovering that his work wasn't perfect was too much for his world view. Existential crisis. It happens. Allegro changes lives.

Edgar Reynaldo
Major Reynaldo
May 2007
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What a bunch of sad pathetic old grumps we've become. We've turned into Torhu. >:(

kingnoob, don't take things so seriously here, use a lot of salt

Honestly, the English language is shaite. It's difficult to ascertain all aspects of meaning from some Americanized latin derelict dead language.

I want to ask everyone here, honestly, did we welcome kingnoob here or did we just criticize him?

Not everyone needs a fucking psycho-analysis upon arrival to determine fitness of mind and sanity of behavior. Give the guy a break, he shared his game, albeit awkwardly in a good will gesture. The lack of dlls is unprofessional, granted, and so the comment was warranted.

Given that the code necessary to write the send ships panel only took a day, and that it was already written, caused me to question whether my work was needed, that's all.

kingnoob, we're all grouchy old men who are undersexed, underestimated, underpaid amateur software devs. You're lucky no one told you to :

{"name":"maxresdefault.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/1\/a\/1a43cbaa0bc45bfc908484494100a465.jpg","w":1280,"h":720,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/1\/a\/1a43cbaa0bc45bfc908484494100a465"}maxresdefault.jpg

I'm sure QT and WxWidgets have Panel designers, you can try them. We're just a silly old graphics and input library. Allegro doesn't have a GUI on its own, just relies on others to put them together.

8-):-X;)

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