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| Programmer jokes |
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Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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I would have checked for leading zeros even in assembler. They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
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Tobias Dammers
Member #2,604
August 2002
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Yeah, well, you would. I've seen enough of other people's code to know that many wouldn't, and then they wouldn't know what hit them when '01-05-08' comes out as '5/1/2000', or worse, '09-05-12' becomes '4/30/2012' or something. --- |
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Gideon Weems
Member #3,925
October 2003
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Arthur Kalliokoski said: I got tired of waiting about the programmers arm healing, and I couldn't find the answer on Google.
All the doctor would give him was an implicit cast. |
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Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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Gideon Weems said: All the doctor would give him was an implicit cast.
Oooooohhhhhh! I'd never have guessed that in a million years. They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
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Samuel Henderson
Member #3,757
August 2003
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Arthur Kalliokoski wins this thread. I'm still laughing at his perfectly placed gif. Also good joke Mr. Weems ================================================= |
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Luiji99
Member #12,254
September 2010
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I've never used the functions OCT and DEC but I still know what they do. Then again, I seem to be ahead of my age. I've met JavaScripters that still don't know what regexes are. It should have really been something like 0o732 instead of 0732 to prevent so many n00b mistakes. I use octal often because of \033. Programming should be fun. That's why I hate Java. |
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Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000
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Lately, D has deprecated 0732 in favour of octal!732. While they're at it, they deprecated 1234l in favour of 1234L. -- |
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Tobias Dammers
Member #2,604
August 2002
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Ooooh nice... you know, there's this guide to writing unmaintainable code out there somewhere, and it suggests, among other things, being creative with l vs. I vs. 1, and 0 vs. O. So you'd have variables named Il1l and l1Ill alongside each other, ideally in a way that would make confusing the two lead to incredibly obscure bugs. --- |
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Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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Tobias Dammers said: Yeah, well, you would. I've seen enough of other people's code to know that many wouldn't, and then they wouldn't know what hit them when '01-05-08' comes out as '5/1/2000', or worse, '09-05-12' becomes '4/30/2012' or something. Are you making that up? (int) '08' => 8 in PHP. And that function is pointless, when you can just do: DateTime::createFromFormat('d-m-y|', '01-05-08'). Of course, that doesn't stop PHP programmers from writing such a function. |
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Schyfis
Member #9,752
May 2008
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I think this one is pretty easy, I made it up last week when my friend and I were trying to think of awful jokes. "AND, OR, and XOR went to a party, but AND and OR were turned away. Why?" ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ |
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Neil Roy
Member #2,229
April 2002
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It was an exclusive party? --- |
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Schyfis
Member #9,752
May 2008
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NiteHackr said: It was an exclusive party? Right on the money. Told you it was easy! (and awful!) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ |
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Striker
Member #10,701
February 2009
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An american programmer has heard, to be a real man he must drink a bottle of whiskey with one pull, rape a squaw and kill a grizzly. So he drunk the whiskey in one pull and then went to the grizzly's cave and entered. After half an hour he came out and asked "And where ist the squaw i should kill?"...
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Luiji99
Member #12,254
September 2010
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A little help with that one, bitte? Programming should be fun. That's why I hate Java. |
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Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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He raped the grizzly, who supposedly objected.
They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
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Striker
Member #10,701
February 2009
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Thanks Arthur. You seem to be familiar with the subject.
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bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I just got déjà vu. I think we had another bad programmer jokes thread a few years back. -- acc.js | al4anim - Allegro 4 Animation library | Allegro 5 VS/NuGet Guide | Allegro.cc Mockup | Allegro.cc <code> Tag | Allegro 4 Timer Example (w/ Semaphores) | Allegro 5 "Winpkg" (MSVC readme) | Bambot | Blog | C++ STL Container Flowchart | Castopulence Software | Check Return Values | Derail? | Is This A Discussion? Flow Chart | Filesystem Hierarchy Standard | Clean Code Talks - Global State and Singletons | How To Use Header Files | GNU/Linux (Debian, Fedora, Gentoo) | rot (rot13, rot47, rotN) | Streaming |
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Luiji99
Member #12,254
September 2010
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Mr. Kalliokoski, I got that part. I just don't see the logic error that resulted in his actions. Programming should be fun. That's why I hate Java. |
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Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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He simply misunderstood. Hagar the Horrible: "Hey you guys! Plunder, then burn!" They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
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LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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The bit about it being a programmer makes it seem like that should somehow be relevant, and since it's not, the joke loses what little humour was their anyway.
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Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001
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{"name":"302945_2576662691309_31312519_n.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/f\/8\/f860707ff5d9854d1c55cb0d0bbd3ca5.jpg","w":402,"h":509,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/f\/8\/f860707ff5d9854d1c55cb0d0bbd3ca5"} ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest. |
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Luiji99
Member #12,254
September 2010
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Yes, but I find it more annoying to not understand the joke at all. Programming should be fun. That's why I hate Java. |
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Karadoc ~~
Member #2,749
September 2002
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I reckon Werner was wrong about that. 'Impossible' is a strong word. It's true that jokes tend to be far more amusing when they are understood without explanation - But "impossible ... to experience the amusement of a joke" overshoots the mark. ----------- |
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Dennis
Member #1,090
July 2003
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Things are only impossible until they're not!  --- 0xDB | @dennisbusch_de --- |
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In any case, I fail to see how the "real man" one applies specifically to programmers. Over all, I'd say these jokes are pretty lame, but I can't do any better... 
