I don't get women at all
miran

OK, so there's this girl that I know (she's a friend, but there are spaces involved). Apparently she's had a huge crush on this one guy for many years and he supposedly likes her too, but they live far appart and can't be together. So she has no boyfriend and says she likes it that way. She's going to wait for that guy she's in love with until she can move closer to him or something.

And then there's this other guy who lives next door and has also been a friend of hers for a long long time. And since she's single, he makes a move. And she says something like: "Ugh, no. Go away." Apparently she's not physically attracted to him or something (that's what she told me).

And now she calls me and tells me they're now together. As of yesterday. Apparently she changed her mind. And I've no idea what to think or say. All I could say was: "Yeah, whatever." and "Good for you." I really don't get it.

Anyway, there's no question, I just wanted to share an interesting story...

deps

Things could get a bit interesting if the first guy moves closer for whatever reason.

Sirocco

Women are generally not bound by these things we men collectively recognize as "logic", "reason", and "pragmatism".

jhuuskon

Now that would be some interesting reality tv...

Matt Smith

Good on the guy. He put in the graft and persistence and got to sow his oats. She'll dump him like a shot when Prince Charming eventually shows up, of course*. She doesn't really fancy him, after all :)

  • unless his shlong is énorme

OICW
Quote:

I don't get women at all

Welcome to the real world, man :o

Apparently I have the same problem. Well as someone mentioned, we all have the same problem.

Neil Black

Heh heh heh ha ha HA HA HA!!!!!!
...
I'm a loser. I just expect girls to do crap like that, and I haven't been disappointed yet. ;)

Kikaru

The case with the girls I have know, is that they seem to act much more so on emotional impulse than most men do. :P

GullRaDriel
Kikaru said:

they seem to act much more so on emotional impulse than most men do.

You do not know the power of the dark side.
They already have made you think that they do not mind what they do.

You should know that if woman do not have balls and penis is because that as the opposite of the men they mind with their brain.

LennyLen

I find trying to apply male/female tendencies to people just over-complicates things for me. By just treating everyone on an individual basis, you end up understanding people better, regardless of their sex.

Trezker

I generally try to treat all the people I like in one way, people I dislike in another way and people I'm not sure about in a third way.

I'm a simple man.

kazzmir

Looks like you missed your chance.

kronoman

The beautiful woman is the most dangerous creature for men in the planet.

We a couple of friends we always discuss this Friday nights :P

Our conclusion is that women are usually very selfish, and they give a damn about your feelings.

Beware of women specially if they :
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

Any woman can have a problem personality, but the more beautiful a woman is, the more likely she is to be a spoiled, self-centered high-maintenance head case.

Anyways, there are beautiful women out there who are loving and giving, and also clinically sane, but you have to look harder.

Signs that your date is a self-absorbed user who does not qualify as long-term relationship material:
1. She fails to exhibit any genuine curiosity about you, your life and what's important to you. For example, while you're sharing about your passion for helping to save the whales, you can feel that she's preoccupied and just waiting for you to finish talking so she can tell you more about her .

2. She constantly name-drops and brags about her professional accomplishments. You know the type. She's convinced that she's going to be famous -- and soon -- and she wants you to know all about it.

3. She treats people in the service industry as subhuman. When you're out having dinner together, she orders your waiter around as though he's her slave. (Always observe how she treats the hired help. It will tell you a lot about her character.)

4. She keeps asking probing questions, attempting to determine how much money you make. I.e The date, on second night out together, asks him straight out: "So what's the most expensive gift you've ever given a woman?"

The narcissistic woman always has a hidden agenda, along with a severe deficiency in the integrity department.

p.s yes, since my english is pretty bad, I tried to locate phrases to express what I meant using google. All this info was already available in english format.

Rampage
Quote:

Good on the guy. He put in the graft and persistence and got to sow his oats. She'll dump him like a shot when Prince Charming eventually shows up, of course*. She doesn't really fancy him, after all :)

This man really does understand women!

Kauhiz
Quote:

takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

What kind of women have you been dating? :-X :P

kronoman
Quote:

Quote:
takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
What kind of women have you been dating? :-X :P

Like I said, was a cut and paste from a site about that kind of people, and well, my english is not great to pick on the "his" typo.

Sporus
Sirocco said:

Women are generally not bound by these things we men collectively recognize as "logic", "reason", and "pragmatism".

Actually I think going for the guy next door was very pragmatic, if nothing else. :)
Though this is probably just a coincidence where flippancy and pragmatism happen to intersect.

nonnus29
Quote:

And now she calls me and tells me they're now together. As of yesterday. Apparently she changed her mind. And I've no idea what to think or say. All I could say was: "Yeah, whatever." and "Good for you." I really don't get it.

Dude, it's called 'hormones'. Woman don't need to find a guy attractive, or particularly like him, he just has to be in the right place at the right time.

It's comedy really.

Quote:

1. She fails to exhibit any genuine curiosity about you, your life and what's important to you.

True, true...

Dustin Dettmer

I like to put girls into two categories, fake girls and real girls.

Fake girls encompass a large mass of women including the ones kronoman described. They tend to be useful for one night stands and not much more.

The real girls are fairly few and far between, though I've noticed that how attractive a girl is not usually a factor.

There are plenty of unattractive fake girls as well attractive real girls. The whole concept of hot == fake I believe is a fallacy.

Onewing
Quote:

I don't get women at all

They do have logic, it's just their logic is rand() % X, where X varies from girl to girl. This makes it difficult for us guys whose logic sums up to "monkey see, monkey do."

Rampage

I'd like to point out that no man really understands women. However, by being around them for a while, one can detect certain patterns to their behaviors, much like fractals have a certain order in their chaos.

manjula

lololol @ lil' allegro boiz

Richard Phipps

Hopefully Manjula's husband understands her!

Inphernic

He is trying really hard to convince manjula of that, but all he can get is "It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.".

Dustin Dettmer

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Paul whoknows
Quote:

Apparently she's not physically attracted to him or something (that's what she told me).

Do not underestimate the power of a great orator.

Samuli

I was just about to reply that women probably have alot of fun reading this thread (before reading Manjula's post). Well, at least I find it mildly entertaining.

gnolam
Paul whoknows said:

Quote:

Apparently she's not physically attracted to him or something (that's what she told me).

Do not underestimate the power of a great orator.

Ah, you mean he's a cunning linguist?

Dustin Dettmer

http://www.funnyhub.com/pictures/img/women-shopping.gif

Andrei Ellman

I'll say this again...

Women are strange.
Men are strange too.

AE.

Rampage
Quote:

Ah, you mean he's a cunning linguist?

I thought the same, but then I thought: how did he get to show her his linguistic skills in the first place?

Torbjörn Josefsson

I'm a bit envious of the wife of a friend of mine - while exhibiting plenty of the usual insanity, she also displays enough coolness to make you feel someone like her would actually be worth the hassle:

The other week she said to him "That jacket really looks great on you... but on the other hand I'm ovulating, so it might just be that"

:D

How cool is that!?

James Stanley

How the hell does ovulating make a jacket look great?

Rampage
Quote:

How the hell does ovulating make a jacket look great?

When women ovulate their mating instinct is activated. She meant she found him attractive because she was horny, not because he was attractive.

Ceagon Xylas
Matt Smith said:

She'll dump him like a shot when Prince Charming eventually shows up, of course*. She doesn't really fancy him, after all :)

Exactly.

I like being single. :P

Dustin Dettmer
Quote:

I'll say this again...

Women are strange.
Men are strange too.

Dude you're way too politically correct to be funny:-/

nonnus29
Quote:

Do not underestimate the power of a great orator.

Quote:

Ah, you mean he's a cunning linguist?

Ha that doesn't work; I'm I have a friend who's like a lesbian when it comes to that and I'm he's still single....

:o

miran
Quote:

Looks like you missed your chance.

Doh! :-X

Quote:

Ah, you mean he's a cunning linguist?

Ahaha, that's the funniest thing I've seen, read or heard today. And you know what? It took me hours to get it. Doh again. :-X

Quote:

I like being single.

I can't even begin to respond to this. I mean there's nothing wrong with being single, but what's really bad is being alone. I mean all the time. Alone.

Look what you made me do now! You made me all depressed again. :'(

Anyway, I tried really hard to get into the female mind to come up with possible explanations for such behaviour and this is what I have so far:

1. She really really doesn't want to be alone as it is, and then once the hormones took control, she just went for the first guy that came along even though she would never have done that if it wasn't for the said hormones.

2. She realized she'll never get that other guy, so she decided to get another one, anyone really, just so she'd forget about him.

3. She's still crazy about that other guy, she just wants to have someone around to pass time with while she waits (she actually said something along these lines once).

4. She's trying to make that other guy feel jealous hoping he'd take a more active role and do something about it.

Any other ideas? Which one of mine do you think is most probable? I personally think it's either 1 or 3. Should I just ask her? I mean I'd really like to know...

OICW
Quote:

Look what you made me do now! You made me all depressed again.

Cheer up man, my life is in this matter complete cascade of disasters and I don't complain. I feel good when I think that by the law of probability there must be at least one person who would like me 8-)

Quote:

I can't even begin to respond to this. I mean there's nothing wrong with being single, but what's really bad is being alone. I mean all the time. Alone.

But at least you're freeman, you are not constrained by anybody. Though I know what you mean, I'm constantly thinking about that so I might write an essay.

Bob Keane

As Mr. Garrison used to say: "Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't have the courtesy to die."

Richard Phipps

The cunning linguist quote is from Blackadder I believe.

miran
Quote:

The cunning linguist quote is from Blackadder I believe.

Now I feel embarrassed :-[

gnolam
miran said:

Anyway, I tried really hard to get into the female mind to come up with possible explanations for such behaviour and this is what I have so far:

1. She really really doesn't want to be alone as it is, and then once the hormones took control, she just went for the first guy that came along even though she would never have done that if it wasn't for the said hormones.

2. She realized she'll never get that other guy, so she decided to get another one, anyone really, just so she'd forget about him.

3. She's still crazy about that other guy, she just wants to have someone around to pass time with while she waits (she actually said something along these lines once).

4. She's trying to make that other guy feel jealous hoping he'd take a more active role and do something about it.

5. Love isn't the ever-lasting meant-to-be-together ideal that Hollywood's dreamt up and convinced the world of, so she simply stopped caring about guy #1 and decided to hitch up with guy #2 instead.

Pripps said:

The cunning linguist quote is from Blackadder I believe.

It's an older joke than that. It fit pretty well here though. :)

Rampage
Quote:

5. Love isn't the ever-lasting meant-to-be-together ideal that Hollywood's dreamt up and convinced the world of, so she simply stopped caring about guy #1 and decided to hitch it up with guy #2 instead.

I think this is right.

wearetheborg

Miran: Why do you even bother analyzing this? I really don't understand what the point is... Unless you are trying to figure out how to get a date with her next time she's up for grabs?

Quote:

I like being single.

Being single is good for a certain period of time. It gives you enough time to figure things out, find out what went wrong with your last relationship, and it gives you the opportunity to be happy because of you (rather than being happy because someone tells you all the things you want to hear).

OICW

Diana: yes, but sometimes it takes quite a time to get yourself back to normal and happy state.

Rampage
Quote:

Miran: Why do you even bother analyzing this?

Why not? He's got lots of free time, being alone.

Richard Phipps

Maybe she really wants to be with Miran and just got with this guy to try to get Miran to show more interest in her.. 8-)

Arthur Kalliokoski
Quote:

Apparently she changed her mind.

First impressions are certainly important, but not everything.

Quote:

The whole concept of hot == fake I believe is a fallacy.

Near as I can tell, the truly hot women have to tone it down so as to reduce hits. The ones with plunging necklines & miniskirts are somehow like the leet haxor who constantly brags about his (non-existant) skillz.

Quote:

cunning linguist?

So he has a gifted tongue?

miran

Diana: I'm analyzing this simply because I find it incomprehensible and I just want to understand. I have no other motives. This girl is a very good friend of mine and I value our friendship a lot, but sometimes I just don't get her (as well as most other members of your half of the population for that matter). So I would just like to know what line of thinking you normally tend to follow, so that I can actually give her good advice the next time she asks.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I do think she's probably the nicest, kindest, most fun to be with and generally most amazing girl I've ever met (and I have met quite a few). She's all that and many other things that aren't even in my vocabulary. I have the deepest respect and admiration for her and I want her to have everything she wishes for and it actually hurts me to see her unhappy. On top of that she's also one of the most physically beautiful women I've ever known, even though she doesn't think highly of herself in that regard as she thinks she's too fat and is concerned about other little things that aren't even important.

I think all that of her, but I do so exclusively in the context of friendship. We're good friends. She has helped me a lot and I try to help her the best that I can. She sometimes comes to me for advice but most often I have no idea what to say, simply because I don't understand her (your) way of thinking. That's why I'm asking...

OK, I know this isn't the best place to ask such questions, but it's the only place I know where one can expect at least some useful answers...

Johan Halmén
Miran said:

I mean, don't get me wrong. I do think she's probably the nicest, kindest, most fun to be with and generally most amazing girl I've ever met (and I have met quite a few). She's all that and many other things that aren't even in my vocabulary. I have the deepest respect and admiration for her and I want her to have everything she wishes for and it actually hurts me to see her unhappy. On top of that she's also one of the most physically beautiful women I've ever known, even though she doesn't think highly of herself in that regard as she thinks she's too fat and is concerned about other little things that aren't even important.

So many words. Just say she's hot!

FuriousOrange
Quote:

I'd like to point out that no man really understands women. However, by being around them for a while, one can detect certain patterns to their behaviors, much like fractals have a certain order in their chaos.

Hey baby you remind me of a fractal? Shall we go get coffee?

Epsi
Quote:

On top of that she's also one of the most physically beautiful women I've ever known, even though she doesn't think highly of herself in that regard as she thinks she's too fat and is concerned about other little things that aren't even important.

They all do that.

Anyway, the only thing I can tell from your last post is that you find her extremely interesting and hot.
So stop lying to yourself about that friendship thing and just ask her out. Or would you rather get a less interesting and less good looking girlfriend ?

1) you'll get what seems to be the "perfect girl" for you
2) you won't be alone anymore
3) depending on the way it's done it won't ruin the relationship if she refuse.
4) you can benefit from advices from the best pick-up artists in the world on this forum ;D

miran
Quote:

So stop lying to yourself about that friendship thing and just ask her out.

I think she made it quite obvious that's exactly what she doesn't want. And I'm cool with that...

Quote:

4) you can benefit from advices from the best pick-up artists in the world on this forum

Do you mean like this: "Girl, you're as beautiful as a Julia set and as deep as a Mandelbrot set. Wanna go do some math with me?" ;D

Epsi
Quote:

I think she made it quite obvious that's exactly what she doesn't want. And I'm cool with that...

But what did you learn from her latest behavior ?
You just have prevent at all cost to look depressed. That's a woman repeller.

I had the same kind of dilemma, and well I still tried and got the perfect girl (since one year now)

FuriousOrange
Quote:

"Girl, you're as beautiful as a Julia set and as deep as a Mandelbrot set. Wanna go do some math with me?"

I heard that girls really dig Koch snowflakes. Try and drop that into your chat up line if possible! ;)

Rampage

And say it while freestyle rapping.

Matt Smith

on a unicycle

GullRaDriel

The topic said: "I don't get women at all"

What about getting man ? ;-p

Bruce Perry
Quote:

I think she made it quite obvious that's exactly what she doesn't want. And I'm cool with that...

Can I 'ave 'er then?

Kikaru

No. People like you are the primary reason why people hire bodyguards. :P

Neil Black

My best friend's girlfriend refuses to call me a loser, despite assurances from me, all my friends, the entire student body, most of the staff, and random people on the street that I am, in fact, a loser.

Kikaru

Well, that's actually a good thing. You are not yet universally despised. :)

miran

Good news everyone. We're delivering a package to a planet infested with flesh eating blood sucking... ehm, no, wait, that's not it. Just a minute... Oh yeah, she dumped the guy. :D

Meanwhile I stumbled across this site: http://www.highstatusmale.com/. I already read the free miniguide and it's frickin awesome! If nothing else it made me feel good about stuff. And even if nothing of it is true, it will at least provide me with excellent material for a long time to come if I decide to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. It's just that good. Anyway, do you think I should buy his two full books? They're only 50$ combined. :)

Rampage
Quote:

Anyway, do you think I should buy his two full books?

Are you really that desperate? Just ask her out! If it doesn't work, then buy the books.

I have a theory: when a shy man wants to talk to a woman for the first time, all he can think about is how he feels. The right way to go (IMO) is talk about her only: how beautiful, funny and nice she is. Then, when she has noticed that you like her, tell her about your feelings.

miran
Quote:

I have a theory: when a shy man wants to talk to a woman for the first time, all he can think about is how he feels. The right way to go (IMO) is talk about her only: how beautiful, funny and nice she is. Then, when she has noticed that you like her, tell her about your feelings.

That's almost exactly what the guide says! :o

Epsi

miran: don't fall for that, instead read "The Game" by Neil Strauss.

It's a real story about a bald geek that became a pickup artist (from 0 woman to a few hundreds in 2 years).
It's not a method per se, but it's really interesting to read.

You'll learn that for example

Quote:

The right way to go (IMO) is talk about her only: how beautiful, funny and nice she is.

is the fastest way to loose her attention.

Michael Jensen

Ugh, don't tell her how you feel -- just ask the girl out. Telling her how you feel isn't going to help you -- people want what they can't have -- if you say "you can have me, I'm free, not a challenge at all, pick me, pick me, I'm ohhhh so lonely, and I'm sweet! I'll do whatever you want baby!" she won't want you. -- As a rule you never tell her you like her until after she's said it to you a few times; And by the way, looks don't matter.

Don't be a push over, be mentally healthy, have boundaries, be a man, be confident -- this is more valuable than looks. -- guys get turned on mostly by looks, girls mostly by personality.

Quote:

3. She's still crazy about that other guy, she just wants to have someone around to pass time with while she waits (she actually said something along these lines once).

she wants you...

Quote:

I mean, don't get me wrong. I do think she's probably the nicest, kindest, most fun to be with and generally most amazing girl I've ever met (and I have met quite a few). She's all that and many other things that aren't even in my vocabulary. I have the deepest respect and admiration for her and I want her to have everything she wishes for and it actually hurts me to see her unhappy. On top of that she's also one of the most physically beautiful women I've ever known, even though she doesn't think highly of herself in that regard as she thinks she's too fat and is concerned about other little things that aren't even important.

you will feel this way about every girl you ever have a crush on; they're always the most beautiful, smart, funny, blah, blah, blah -- she'll be comepletely out of your life someday, and you will feel this way about another girl in the future. It's not the end of the world if you hit on her and she turns you down, there are a LOT more where she came from.

Quote:

I think all that of her, but I do so exclusively in the context of friendship.

Keep telling her that -- nothing makes a girl put out more than telling her you just want to be friends -- it makes you a challenge -- especially if they make a pass at you, you MUST play hard to get for them to chase.

Quote:

I think she made it quite obvious that's exactly what she doesn't want. And I'm cool with that...

what she's saying outloud is obviously a lie; she wants you; hit it.

Sleep with her the first chance you get -- don't be a wuss about it. This is something you're giving to her, not she's giving to you. -- Plus it will create a stronger emotional bond for you in her head.

Actually if you want to keep her, and arn't ashamed to be manipulative, date her for a week (or so) -- then dump her... -- make up a reason -- she'll want you back in a day or two and be really pathetic about it (especially if she's the lonely type like you are.) make her beg, tell her it would be stupid since she doesn't really love you, but loves this other guy (she might just change her mind on that topic)...

She's lonely and on the rebound -- strike now. ;)

miran
Quote:

instead read "The Game" by Neil Strauss

Any idea where I could get it? It's not in our local library. Also note that I'm broke.

@Michael: Thank you! :D

Epsi
Quote:

She's lonely and on the rebound -- strike now. ;)

yup best time ever :D

Quote:

Any idea where I could get it? It's not in our local library. Also note that I'm broke.


It's a best seller so you won't have any problem finding an old 5$ copy online, or you can also go the "harrr harrr" way, but you know that already ;)

OICW

Ok now I got lost, who is who? You're the one far, far away, and the other guy just got dumped. You moved to your own flat and you're now broke and want to consult some books or folks on the programming forums or ...

Please help me :'(

miran

No no no. These two things are mostly unrelated really. I mean me not understanding women (and this girl in particular) and the fact that I recently moved, I'm alone, don't know anyone here and I'm broke. They just kind of got mixed up in one thread. As far as this girl goes, she's a friend who lives far away and she's in love with guy number one who lives far far away (and is not me) and then she went out with guy number two who lives next door (from her). She dumped guy number two after less than a week because apparently that wasn't it and she went back to being in love with guy number one (the one far far away that is not me). I, on the other hand, am just an observer in this story. However I also have problems of my own which are kind of similar but unrelated. I recently moved to a town not far away but still far enough, I have very few friends here, no girlfriend and I just spent all my money on furniture, various house items, clothes, toys (yay!) and other things. Which all combined makes me feel something between very unhappy and slightly depressed. About halfway between those two. I concluded that most of my unhapiness stems from the fact that I am alone. I searched the internets for things that could help me understand what I've been doing wrong and I found those books I mentioned. That's roughly the whole story in a few short sentences.

OICW

Oh, thank you. I just got confused by other thinking that you're a guy number one. When you said far away, you mean away from what?

Oh besides, there's nothing bad on lonelyness, except the fact of being lonely, but it's just the cost of being independent and free. But I don't mean now the fact that you have a few friends there.

Oh and one more thing, scrap all the books about happiness and theese thinks, it's a waste of money and time. Oh and don't listen to those crazy fellows who haunt your imagination and pretend that they're real...

miran
Quote:

When you said far away, you mean away from what?

I mean this friend lives far away from me (well, not that far actually, just a short drive if you have a car which I don't) and guy number one lives far far away (that's double far but in reality it means really far, like more than 100km far).

OICW

I'm completely lost but that doesn't matter. It's just really complicated.

miran
Quote:

It's just really complicated.

That's because I make it look complicated on purpose. ;D

OICW

Thank you ;)

Richard Phipps

Now I feel complicated.. ;D

Neil Black

I am posting here because Miran hates my name. And me too, I guess.

Epsi

Anyway you'll feel better soon, you just have to fulfill the base of the hierarchy of needs

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Once you'll get a girl you'll start thinking about coding again :P

Neil Black

I can't get a girl BECAUSE I'm busy coding.

Hi Miran!

Kikaru

Shut up, you're not adding to the thread. ;) Look for knife marks outside your window.

Miran: Making friends is easier than getting a girlfriend. :P

GullRaDriel

People, you all crazy. You really need to go and let your computer alone.

Go have a girl !
Go have sex !

It does not really matter if you understand her or not. How you feel her is better. No need to understand if you are able to accept the fact: a girl is as a man, she have her own personality and desires. Just be with her. Just love her. Do not hurt her. Life is short. You really do not have the time , go and PROFIT NOW !!!

gnolam

Epsi: you should have posted a "WARNING: IMAGE MAY INDUCE NAUSEA" warning before posting that shite. "Safety of morality" and "Lack of prejudice" my ass...

Richard Phipps

Perhaps you're just too far down the pyramid to see it.. :)

Rampage

I'd say you should solve your financial problems before dealing with girl problems.

[edit]

Quote:

Quote:

The right way to go (IMO) is talk about her only: how beautiful, funny and nice she is.

is the fastest way to loose her attention.

Only if you suck at it. ;D

Richard Phipps

Here's my advice:
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Dustin Dettmer
Quote:

what she's saying outloud is obviously a lie; she wants you; hit it.

Ignore everything they say. Listen only to what they do.

Are they talking with you? Then maybe they're interested.
Are they saying they want to break up but still have a sparkle in their eye? Then they're still crazy about you.
Are they saying they want to stay together but don't have a sparkle in their eye? Then they're dating you cause they can't find anyone better.
etc, etc, etc

LennyLen

Richard, are you advising that he finds a school boy?

Michael Jensen
Quote:

Miran: Making friends is easier than getting a girlfriend.

indeed. Go to the library and ask if there are any d&d groups that meet there; if theirs a club, ask for contact info -- be very nice and accomodating, polite, etc to everyone; even people you hate -- especially females (as friendship is a "preview" for them as if they were to date you.) -- have fun (Best dating or friendship advice ever. It's that simple).

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

The right way to go (IMO) is talk about her only: how beautiful, funny and nice she is.

is the fastest way to loose her attention.

Only if you suck at it.

Or maybe she's just never heard it before because she's not cute?

On the other hand, very, very, pretty girls are always the ones with the emotional "I'm so fucking ugly" complexes... so this might work; truthfully, anything you do can work; you can say the stupidest things RIGHT and they will work, leaving a girl dumbfounded... you can also do them very wrongly.

Giving a girl many unecessary compliments removes the challenge for her.

Instead of looking to her for your own approval, see if you can get her looking to you for approval.

Dustin Dettmer
Michael said:

On the other hand, very, very, pretty girls are always the ones with the emotional "I'm so fucking ugly" complexes...

Usually those are fake. Just attempts to appear more humble.

Michael Jensen

which is why, when suggesting they loose weight, or dress cuter, they take you very seriously. 8-)

Dustin Dettmer
Quote:

which is why, when suggesting they loose weight, or dress cuter, they take you very seriously. 8-)

Being insecure about your weight or clothes is different then being really hot and proclaiming how ugly you are...

Michael Jensen

::)

gnolam
Quote:

loose her attention

Quote:

they loose weight

I know English is a horrible language, but STOP ABUSING IT.

Andrei Ellman

Women aren't there to be figured out. Women are there to be hugged, kissed, cuddled squeezed, sympathised with and all sorts of other wonderful things. If you try and figure out women, you'll become so confused that your head will launch from your body.

Women are more under preassure to conform to what's percieved to be societies norms than men are, and are usually more suseptable to doing so. This means that women are having an internal battle between what they want, and how they want to appear to the outside world. This can explain some of their unpredicatability and why it's so hard to find their true desires.

One of the holy grails of someone trying to figure out women is the following: What women want in their ideal partner is different to what women find attractive. This can explain why some women appear all nice and sympathetic, and end up with a boyfriend who'se a complete ****. Basically, what women want is someone who is nice, cares for her, sympathises with her etc.. What women find attractive is confidence - basically, the trait of an 'alpha male'. If there's anything ****s who are successfull with women have lots of is confidence. Often, someone who'se shy can easily radiate a lack of confidence. Even though some women may sympathise with the shy person and find them interesting, subconciously, they will be put off. This conflict between the concious and subconcious is also a factor in the unpredictability of women. In the case of the OP's dilema, she has caved in and went out with guy number two. It did not last long and she probably feels guilty, so if you were to say something like "Hey, even though you were in love with guy number one but you still went with guy number two and it's now over with him, would you consider going with me?", it would just be counterproductive and would be like rubbing salt in her wounds. She's done something she regrets and you would be asking her to do the same again if you did ask her. Also, it would make her think that her reputation is getting out of hand.

Why this obsession with confidence? It's sort of hard-coded into women to be attracted to confidence. One way of thinking of it is as follows. Men have an obsession with t3h b00bIes in the same way that women have an obsession with confidence. Just think of it this way. Have you ever met a girl you thought was a complete bee-hatch who you hated with a passion, but had such a hot body that you kept wanting to immagine her naked. If so, then that's what women think about guys who are ****s but confident. Just learn to accept this, and things will all of a sudden fit into place.

However, if you must know the reason for this, it's biological. Women take 9 mionths to make a baby, whereas men can theoretically make millions of babies per second. In order to maximise chances for survival, men must make as many babies as they can, but women must try and maximise the quality of their offspring. This will explain why men will want as many holes as possible, whereas women will want the best they can find. Basically, 'the best they can find' is usually the 'alpha male' - that is the one who'se made it to the top of the pack. By bearing the offspring of the alpha male, the woman's genes get combined with the best genes from the pack.

Fortunately for the shy ones out there, there's good news. You don't actually have to be an 'aplha-male' - you just have to be able to mimic one. This is basically what the sumary of the link that Miran posted sais. This is basically a technique of mind-hacking which is actually capable of overcoming the things that put women off due to shyness.

As for the lack of confidence, overcoming that comes from within. Often, someone who is busy figuring out women often overlooks something important - figuring out themselves. You can actually become the sort of person that you want to become just by believing it. If you believe this hard enough, your actions will take on the role of such a preson. This will be re-inforced by how people react to it, and soon enough, the belief becomes a fact. You just need to have faith and perserverence, but let yourself be driven from the inside by the person you want to be, and you shall become such a preson.

And of course, some women have leanred to pick their mate entirely on what they want rather than what they find attractive, but not all women are like this.

If you keep finding that every time you ask a girl to be your girlfriend and she replies by saying she just wants to be friends, instead of thinking that you've failed to find a girlfriend, think to yourself that you have a [new] friend. If that happens several times, you will end up building up a vast army of 'female friends' who are 'just friends'. Instead of being depressed about you thinking you can never get a girlfriend, it gives you an opportunity to be around women more often and learn their ways. If the numbers are high enough (low numbers will also work with luck), eventually, one of them could end up going beyond 'just friends', and the others will be happy for you. Also, once the both of you have established your intentions to eachother, it means [once you overcome your feelings of rejection], you can be more open with the other person - especially when it comes to crushes you may have on other women (yes, blasphemy, but you don't get everything in life that you want, so pick something else). If that fails, you can use your army of 'female friends' to help take over the world (don't try this at home).

And finally, once you do have a gf, you will find out that it takes up all your free time. So get those projects of yours out the way first!

AE.

OICW

The last paragraph can be summarized like this: either you're free and independent but for the cost of mental depression that you're alone, or you're happy but don't have free time 8-)

Andrei Ellman

I agree, but describing it as 'mental depression' is a bit of an exageration, unless you've just been turned down.

The difference between a good relationship and a bad one is that in a good relationship, you want to spend your time with her, but in a bad one, you have to spend your time with her.

AE.

Joel Pettersson

Hah. I have no need for any relationship - all I need is something interesting to do, and my mind makes all the company I need.

And looking at most relationships, (all the following is based on many an observation - I have no personal experience of such) it's a bloody mess of varyingly subtle manipulation back and forth. I can only conclude that most people in relationships have either a near-complete lack of respect for themselves, or are rather desperate for sustaining their love-induced addiction; otherwise they wouldn't keep subjecting themselves to it. Or they have simply managed to delude themselves far enough - most seem to somehow get the idea that whatever relationship they are currently entering is with "The One". That is, until it eventually blows up in their face, which most relationships do, sooner or later, sometimes leading to their lives being screwed up in the process. After which they form another relationship, once again, with whoever they now believe is "The One", with the same result. Until they eventually find themselves in some half-arsed marriage or a similar situation. After which it all not too seldomly begins all over again. Plenty of time and resources (how so many let themselves be drained...) wasted, very little gained, in the end.

Looking at the supposed advantages as well as the negative sides, relationships hardly seems worthwhile by any stretch. (though mayhaps I am a little bit too cynical. :P)

I wonder what I'll be able to accomplish in all the years of avaliable free time that await me... ;)

Johan Halmén
Joel Pettersson's depot said:

This member has no projects listed.

My depot doesn't say that. I'm married and I have three kids.

Joel Pettersson

How much more time would you have had had you lived alone until now, though?

As for my depot, I haven't touched it as my two more-or-less serious allegro-using projects are not nearly mature enough to put there. (a very largely unfinished textbased RPG made RPG-engine, game data and unfinished script compiler/virtual machine system, and a simple little game I never got around to developing very far. both half-dead projects as of now) My biggest programming achievement as of yet would be a set of DSP plugins I'm developing. I don't doubt that you've done more than me, though, having been involved with programming longer.

Andrei Ellman
Johan Halmén said:

[quote Joel Pettersson's depot]
This member has no projects listed.

My depot doesn't say that. I'm married and I have three kids.
</quote>
Married with kids and time to finish projects. This is what most a.cc'ers dream of.

AE.

wearetheborg
JP said:

Hah. I have no need for any relationship - all I need is something interesting to do, and my mind makes all the company I need.

Oh please... I wonder if you'll keep telling yourself the same thing when you are old and lonely.

I hope that one day you will truly love someone and realize how wrong you were. :)

Rampage

What this thread needs is some good old Happy Bunny!

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Epsi
Quote:

I wonder what I'll be able to accomplish in all the years of avaliable free time that await me...

Not reproduce.

LennyLen
Quote:

Oh please... I wonder if you'll keep telling yourself the same thing when you are old and lonely.

Oh please... Not every one who is alone is lonely.

Though, if you've never had a relationship, you're more likely to find yourself wondering if you've missed out on something, so people should give relationships a go, even if only to decide it's not for them.

Johan Halmén

See it this way. When you die without offspring, that will be the end of your productivity. My eldest son is already in game making. He is also in music composing, as well as my younger son. Yay, I live forever, coding and composing!

Dennis

Hehe, as soon as I have achieved some healthy financial/mental status, I'll go looking for a fine girl to make a few little Dennisses and Denises with her but before that, I'll just continue slacking.;D

LennyLen
Quote:

See it this way. When you die without offspring, that will be the end of your productivity.

My productivity ended years ago. I actually couldn't think of anything worse than having kids. And no, that won't change as I get older. I'm already more than old enough to start worrying about things like that.

piccolo
Quote:

Hehe, as soon as I have achieved some healthy financial/mental status, I'll go looking for a fine girl to make a few little Dennisses and Denises with her but before that, I'll just continue slacking

same here they'll be little piccolos though. i do not give away babies like most people is this world. im not have having kids untill im marred and have a house to put it in. i don't believe in divorce. get a female is so easy for men. if you cant find one in your country you can always order one from a different country like Asisa. if your a good guy go pick up a nice wife from a poor country shell be ten better then any rich women you can get.

#1 she is used to being poor so she wont wases money/food.

#2 she will be able to work with a low budget and do wonder.

#3 she be loyal to you because she wont have been pre-exposed to the American style of marriage/ TV.

#4 and she will look better then the rich spoiled females(they need make-up to look good).

#5 she wont complain about every little thing that goes wrong in your plan shell just say honey will get it next time.

Note: if your with a girl and something goes wrong like you have to break a prommiss and she says "im so mad at you" then you don't want to be with that girl. because life is full of upsets and she will only make things worse.

Epsi
Quote:

same here they be little piccolos though. i not do not give away babies like most people is this world

That's true, King Piccolo spit its babies contained into eggs.

nonnus29

I disagree, I saw a guys wife who was from ecuador screw around on a guy and leave him once. Hispanic, Asian, Sri Lankan, doesn't matter, all females are loco.

Quote:

Yay, I live forever, coding and composing!

The truest post in this thread....

Neil Black

No matter where they're from, there will always be women who are unfaithful to you or have undesireable traits. It's just human nature, it isn't caused by American TV, it is the cause OF those shows, because things like that happen often enough that you can base a show around it.

piccolo

Ecuador is not a good country to pick a wife from there not poor enough. when i say poor i don't mean the country's dollar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fZyEgsLIVE
this country has been americanized.

Indeterminatus

It's not even possible to poke fun at this video, it already does that all by itself. With things like that, I see the end coming for comedians.

LennyLen
Quote:

if you cant find one in your country you can always order one from a different country like Asisa[sic].

Asia is a country now?

If you really want poor, try Africa.

wearetheborg
Nonnus said:

Hispanic, Asian, Sri Lankan, doesn't matter, all females are loco.

No! Sri Lankan women are the best you can get.

piccolo

lots of African countries are americanized as well like Niagra.

Arthur Kalliokoski

Niagra? The famous waterfalls where people get married? They stock brides there? I've got lots of scars, so I'm already "marred", I gotta go check it out.

piccolo

no im saying Niagra is not a good place. my option is based on there males and the females i see in amarica.

Sri Lankan women seem to have good devotion. these women had to work care for the kids they made. in this vid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlysbIcToak

But

they are in the process of being americanized look in this vid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh30mUhI92c
i saw a movie about this same stuff in the end they only selected on girl to be the soldger an killed the rest.

LennyLen
Quote:

no im saying Niagra is not a good place.

The country is called Nigeria. Niagra, as Arthur has pointed out is a waterfall on the border of Canada and the USA.

Quote:

my option is based on there males and the females i see in amarica.

Well of course they're going to seem Americanized to you then. ::)

wearetheborg
Arthur said:

Niagra? The famous waterfalls where people get married?

LennyLen said:

Niagra, as Arthur has pointed out is a waterfall on the border of Canada and the USA.

It's called Niagara. If you are going to correct someone, you should at least make sure that your spelling is fine. That's what you get for picking on Piccolo!

Oh, and don't tell me you left it there on purpose, because I won't believe that one.8-)

Andrei Ellman
piccolo said:

same here they'll be little piccolos though

Don't you mean piccolo piccolos?

AE.

LennyLen
Quote:

It's called Niagara. If you are going to correct someone, you should at least make sure that your spelling is fine. That's what you get for picking on Piccolo!

Actually, I didn't care enough to bother checking. And if you're going to nit my nits, then please note that piccolo does not capitalize his name.

And you think that's picking on someone? You need to spend more time away from the kids.

Rampage
Quote:

And you think that's picking on someone? You need to spend more time away from the kids.

Are you implying that Diana thinks she's still at school taking care of the kids? That might explain the "I'm so much more mature than you" attitude...

Kikaru

Cringes, foreseeing the inevitable conflict, however small or large it may be

nonnus29
Quote:

Are you implying that Diana thinks she's still at school taking care of the kids? That might explain the "I'm so much more mature than you" attitude...

What about the 'I am a bitching fucking asshole' attitude'? Got an explanation for that? Didn't think so...

;)

Kikaru

builds a bomb shelter and hides in it

Matthew Leverton
Quote:

And you think that's picking on someone? You need to spend more time away from the kids.

Oooh, sounds like someone is from the "real world!" <Grandpa mode>Back when I was a homeless, drug-addict loser, you should have seen the way people picked on me!</Grandpa mode>

Quote:

Actually, I didn't care enough to bother checking.

You corrected his misspelling while introducing another misspelling. Niagra is neither the correct spelling for the waterfall or the country. If you don't care enough to give factual information, then please don't post.

You might as well have said that Niagra is your favorite drug of the moment.

le_y_mistar

This thread is going places. ::)

This is why I avoid threads about women on a.cc.

LennyLen
Quote:

Oooh, sounds like someone is from the "real world!" <Grandpa mode>Back when I was a homeless, drug-addict loser, you should have seen the way people picked on me!</Grandpa mode>

More like "If I was going to pick on someone, I'd be using actual insults, and using a derogatory tone."

Quote:

If you don't care enough to give factual information, then please don't post.

I thought that WAS the correct spelling. I didn't bother to check as I didn't think I had sufficient reason too. That's what I meant by "I didn't care." When I am uncertain, I DO check things first.

le_y_mistar

How to insta-burn somebody on a.cc: Correct their spelling. It's sadly very, very lame.

I think it's ok to make sp mistakes, if you get called out on it, just fix it and be over with, no need to have a school yard quarrel about it.

LennyLen
Quote:

I think it's ok to make sp mistakes, if you get called out on it, just fix it and be over with, no need to have a school yard quarrel about it.

Spelling was never the issue.

Inphernic

This thread is relevant to The Cause.

miran

What have you done to my thread? :P

OICW

They officially derailed it. :'(

Johan Halmén
Dennis said:

I'll go looking for a fine girl to make a few little Dennisses and Denises with her

Don't let your brother get her and make a few Denieces and Denephews.

wearetheborg

LennyLen: Lighten up! You made a mistake, I corrected it, now get over it.

nonnus said:

What about the 'I am a bitching fucking asshole' attitude'? Got an explanation for that? Didn't think so...

8-)

GullRaDriel
nonnus said:

What about the 'I am a b'itching f'ucking a'sshole' attitude'? Got an explanation for that? Didn't think so...
[quote wearetheborg]
8-)

</quote>

Looks better now.

;D

Miran: Yeah, the thread is somewhat derailled.

:D

Jakub Wasilewski
Quote:

Niagra? The famous waterfalls where people get married?

I just heard the news: The Federal Republic of Nigeria changed its official name to "Niagra: The Best Daels on Viagra!".

Inphernic

This thread is now about

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/c/cd/200px-Bridget.gif

Onewing
Quote:

This thread is now about

Ahhh, I was hoping you were going to:

{"name":"591569","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/8\/e\/8ebf13faabeb9bf8c0f159769cf08d23.jpg","w":430,"h":278,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/8\/e\/8ebf13faabeb9bf8c0f159769cf08d23"}591569

Dennis
Johan said:

Don't let your brother get her and make a few Denieces and Denephews.

Would that make much of a difference? His genes should be pretty similar to mine. Anyway, my brother has a gf and they're together for a few years already, so it's not an issue.

Rampage
Quote:

What about the 'I am a bitching fucking asshole' attitude'? Got an explanation for that? Didn't think so...

Quit bitching. Using bad words won't change the attitudes you are referring to. :P

gnolam

But it might make others aware of them.

Rampage

I know, that's why I tried them. :P

nonnus29

Yeah I was just going for effect there: 'whoa, that's a lot of fuck 's, must've been a bad thing to say...'

Johan Halmén gets a star for best post in this thread. ;D

LennyLen
Quote:

LennyLen: Lighten up! You made a mistake, I corrected it, now get over it.

That didn't bother me. I make many errors like that and prefer having them corrected. It's your unfounded accusations of picking on people that piss me off.

GullRaDriel

Candies for all !

miran
Quote:

Candies for all !

No candies for nobody. :P

Johan Halmén

Have you seen Notting Hill? The whole movie is worth to see only because the Welsh room mate. If he were in Miran's place, he would say to the girl:
"I do think you're probably the nicest, kindest, most fun to be with and generally most amazing girl I've ever met (and I have met quite a few). You're all that and many other things that aren't even in my vocabulary. I have the deepest respect and admiration for you and I want you to have everything you wish for and it actually hurts me to see you unhappy. On top of that you're also one of the most physically beautiful women I've ever known, even though you don't think highly of yourself in that regard as you think you're too fat and you're concerned about other little things that aren't even important. So, fancy a f*ck?"

miran

Hmmmm, I wish I was more like that Welsh room mate... :-/

Actually on second thought I'd like to be more like Hugh Grant and only a tiny little bit like the Welsh room mate.

GullRaDriel

Where are your balls ? Are you a real male ? Show the girls you have powerfull balls. You must show how sour you are.

Men have balls. Let the monkey inside you speak.

Stop minding. Your balls are there for that.

You

Are

A

MALE !

You will have time to mind to those f*cking things . Just let the beast made his show.

;D

PS: If you do not feel like being a sour male, then shame on you ! MOTIVATE !

miran

Wow, you should be a motivational speaker! :o :P

GullRaDriel

;D

Johan Halmén
Quote:

Where are your balls ?

They've shrunk into two raisins.
Yes, more Welsh room mate talk.

GullRaDriel
Johan said:

They've shrunk into two raisins.

My god! Masturbate !
Yes, more male talk.

Kikaru

I'm leaving this thread very quickly now.

HoHo

Is it just me or has something happened to Gull some time in the last week or so? He wasn't like that before :-/

Onewing
Quote:

He wasn't like that before

That or his English has improved enough to where we can understand his evil ways...

Richard Phipps

So, have you asked her out yet Miran?

OICW

RP: I think that he clearly stated that he never intended, or am I wrong?

EDIT: d'oh he only said that he was not the guy #1 nor the guy #2, so he's #3 and he could ask her out, but he didn't and we don't know if he would do it, though we know that he'd like to (or might), because he thinks she's "the one" (I didn't want to say "compatible" ;) )

GullRaDriel
HoHo said:

Is it just me or has something happened to Gull some time in the last week or so? He wasn't like that before

Onewing said:

That or his English has improved enough to where we can understand his evil ways...

It was just weird humor :-)

As I tried to say, I think it is pointless to speak. More action is better than no action. Practice makes perfect !

Anyway, that is just my opinion, and it was a way to tell it to you. Weird way, I agree, but you can not say that I have not clearly stated my point.

;-D

miran
Quote:

So, have you asked her out yet Miran?

Quote:

I think that he clearly stated that he never intended, or am I wrong?

Exactly.

Anyway, she said no. And then we got in a fight over something unrelated and now we're not even friends anymore. :-/

Ceagon Xylas

Damn relationships. Sorry, Miran.

Idealius

Fish & sea :D

Johan Halmén

I bet she found out this thread.

miran
Quote:

Fish & sea :D

My thoughts exactly. :)

Trezker

Here's balls for you.

Richard Phipps

Don't give up on her quite yet (as a friend)..

OICW

Yeah, that would be pitty just to forget n years of friendship because of some stupid arguement. Wait few days and try to speak to her, even apologize.

Rampage
Quote:

Quote:

I think that he clearly stated that he never intended, or am I wrong?

Exactly.

Anyway, she said no.

I don't get men at all. ???

Kikaru

I was going to say the same. I don't get birds (I have 5 of them as pets) at all either, they seem completely irrational. Nothing like people. ;)

bamccaig

Fucking ugh. :-/

In high school I fell in love with a friend... I didn't tell her because I was afraid she wouldn't feel the same way and didn't want to risk losing the friendship.

As time went on our circle of friends grew more complicated and the girls began to separate from the group. Everybody was still apparently friends, but the girls were hanging out less and less with the guys... Though I wanted to be near her as often as possible, it was made very difficult to even hang out with her.

It was easier to communicate via E-mail because some of her friends didn't like me and talking to her while they were around (all the time) was impossible.

Via E-mail she confirmed that we were friends, but that a couple of her friends didn't like me... So contrary to logic I trusted her (largely because I wanted to believe her) and went on assuming we were friends. By grade 12, it was a constant struggle just to talk to her because at any given minute one of the girls always had to go to the washroom and that meant they all had to go...

It was extremely frustrating and I still don't know the truth about all of that. Were they avoiding me or did they all have medical issues? Who knows. It was somewhat comforting that her sister, only a year younger, said she didn't understand it either.

After high school most of the girls in our circle, including her, went to a university across the province, while I stayed at home and went to a community college. I began using MSN to communicate with all of them and especially her.

Things complicate from there beyond measure. I was panicing because of my fears of how she really felt about me and the distance between us and lack of communication, etc., and I told one of her friends how I felt... Obviously, it wasn't long before she knew.

That led to a long series of her talking to me and not talking to me. Over the course of two years I was blocked, unblocked, deleted, added, etc., from her MSN.

To make matters worse I suspected there were feelings between a friend (also stayed home attending community college) and her because they always acted weird around each other; and had gone out in high school, though I was sketchy on the details. To ruin the story, I was right about him.

In the end (and pretty much the whole time she knew how I felt), she accused me of always overreacting about her not coming online often and my suspicions between that backstabber and her. It wasn't really overreacting if you ask me. I would call it appropriately, and perhaps for her, inconveniently, reacting.

She broke contact with me a few months ago, claiming complete ignorance in the complexities of the relationship and claiming to be a victim of my jealousy and obsession... I'd rather not hear supporters of her excuses because it was never an obsession and my jealousy was understandable.

>:( Tensions are very high between me and the backstabber. We currently see each other every Monday when the college's 3rd year computer studies students gather to discuss work placements and prepare for after graduation. It's one of those nobody says anything, but so much as look at me wrong and you die kind of tensions. ::) At least, from my perspective. ;)

:'( It still upsets me today whenever the girl crosses my mind. I'd be willing to say the torment she put me through took me near insanity, if not into it. I still miss her, even though I'm also extremely upset with her for how she handled everything. I'm also extremely upset with those in the circle of friends that ignorantly chose her side, which included all of the guys (>:() and most of the girls.

I don't understand women saying they don't understand men. We act logically and don't change all that often (or at all really: our actions are always predictable if you analyze the situation).

Women, on the other hand, can't claim that because I've heard a number of women say they don't understand women either. I love the joke about whenever men get close to understanding women a memo goes out to change. I think it's clever in a reality-based kind of way. And women do embrace change, not because something isn't good, but just for a change. WTF!?

It's a vicious circle, driven by women, and I've already had enough of it at age 20.

:-/

For me, Evanescence and Seether help a lot.

Samuel Henderson

I always seem to have bad luck in the lady department. Every girl I think I may be interested in dating seems to be already dating someone else. The girls that do not interest me at all seem drawn to me...

mEmO
Quote:

The girls that do not interest me at all seem drawn to me

This is as close to a universal constant as you get. Most people reach for what they think they cannot have.

Rampage
Quote:

This is as close to a universal constant as you get. Most people reach for what they think they cannot have.

I'll name this constant "a", because it was first described in the a.cc forum.

Ron Ofir

Actually, I think we should go for K, which makes it even more universal. Wanna know whatever? Just multiply by K!

Dennis
bamccaig said:

It still upsets me today whenever the girl crosses my mind. I'd be willing to say the torment she put me through took me near insanity, if not into it. I still miss her[..]

Concentrate on your hobbies and your work and eventually time will heal this wound. You will forget her. Well, maybe you will not forget her entirely but some day, you'll just sit there and think of her and suddenly it will strike your mind that you don't feel anything anymore when you think of her and then you're free.

(Took around 12 years for me to reach that day and it felt great. I had to laugh about it for a good five minutes. I even stopped dreaming about her.)

P.S.: It's not her, who drove you into insanity. It's all in your head. You can fight it, if you want to, just don't drown in self-pity and concentrate on accomplishing some things. Cheer up.

Ron Ofir
Quote:

Concentrate on her boobies...

Yes, great piece of advice!

Bob

I second that!

Arthur Kalliokoski
Quote:

The girls that do not interest me at all seem drawn to me.

Consider the possibility that the lack of anxiety while observing these girls allows you to notice the attraction. Maybe the girls that do interest you are also giving vibes, but you're too nervous to see them as they are.

I've noticed several times that when I get a girlfriend after a drought, willing girls suddenly appear everywhere (seemingly too late) but the only change was in my perception at the moment.

OICW
Quote:

I always seem to have bad luck in the lady department. Every girl I think I may be interested in dating seems to be already dating someone else.

Me too. I can say that my whole life in this department was a complete chain of disasters.

Quote:

Took around 12 years for me to reach that day and it felt great. I had to laugh about it for a good five minutes. I even stopped dreaming about her.

Yep, sometimes when I think about it on the boring lessons I have to laugh. Pitty she's one of my classmates, so it was hard as hell to get her out of mind. :-X

Dustin Dettmer
Quote:

It's not her, who drove you into insanity. It's all in your head. You can fight it, if you want to, just don't drown in self-pity and concentrate on accomplishing some things. Cheer up.

I don't think thats fair. It was his mistake for risking his well being by emotionally investing in her but still her fault for messing him up.

The real lesson is to be careful who you get close to.

piccolo
Quote:

It was somewhat comforting that her sister, only a year younger, said she didn't understand it either.

you should have gone out with her sister. thats what i would have did.

OICW
Quote:

you should have gone out with her sister. thats what i would have did.

Oh, that's a really piece of usefull advice ;) First it doesn't really solve the problem with your feelings. Sencond if you'd finally end up with the first object of interest you'd terribly hurt the sister and cause a lot of problems. Oh and don't forget that the sister wouldn't most probably go with you in the first place.

Dennis
Dustin said:

I don't think thats fair. It was his mistake for risking his well being by emotionally investing in her but still her fault for messing him up.

Maybe "It's all in your head." was too short to put it. What I meant to say was that one can have control over the thoughts and emotions in ones head. If something or someone messes you up, you can choose to repair it by refusing to let it/her make you the victim. This is, from my experience, best achieved by just carrying on with other things. I didn't say it was going to be easy or that it would go quick, it still takes time but for it to work, the first thing to accept is that one does not have to feel like the victim. A change in ones' thoughts by that leads to a change in ones' own perceived reality.

It's easier achieved, if you can talk about it and if you let others reflect on it, because it's very hard to break out of a certain state of mind just out of your own motivation. In times of despair, people lose their ability to think straight and logical, so to get out of it, it is a good thing to ask others about it, as they have enough emotional distance to the problem to be able to see some actual solutions without going ever onward in circles, victimizing themselves like the one that spent a few years with the problem already and doesn't see anything else but the problem anymore.

I didn't mean to be evil or unfair. However, I'm not a psychiologist and still have issues myself, so the above is not to be taken as some universal truth. It's just my experience and it doesn't claim to be correct in any way.

This board and the people on it have helped me more than once to get away from some set of unhealthy thoughts and to move on to other things, that's why I believe that it's next to impossible to go on without input from others when having some serious problems.

Johan Halmén
Quote:

I've noticed several times that when I get a girlfriend after a drought, willing girls suddenly appear everywhere

That's only typical female behaviour. Women are seemingly unsure when it comes to who could be considered a good catch. They simply fall for taken men or divorced men - if the men don't have other obvious qualities, like being a celebrity, which also kind of implies qualification. Like they were thinking: "If a woman has chosen this man, he can't be bad. I got to have him."

piccolo
Quote:

First it doesn't really solve the problem with your feelings.

feeling??? plz don't tell me you belive in that stuff. feeling and "love" is a childhood thing like the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fiery. In real life you see a girl you want you get girl by messing with her mind, or making her jeloss (witch is still messin with mind).

OICW

Well I don't believe in that voodoo bullshit, but I can tell you for sure what's happenning when your interest grows to desire and desire to obscession. And I can tell you that this can be considered love, this is due to some slight chemical changes in your body. And I can tell you that your advice doesn't solve that.

Johan Halmén

Homer: Heh, heh. Lisa, vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

piccolo
Quote:

And I can tell you that this can be considered love, this is due to some slight chemical changes in your body

blah :-X you are the one that make thinks happen to your self. if you like something your the one that made your self like it.

OICW
Quote:

you are the one that make thinks happen to your self. if you like something your the one that made your self like it.

Sorry didn't get that one.

Bruce Perry

Piccolo, if I ever catch you near any of the girls I know, you die.

[EDIT]
Do you do contract work?

GameCreator
Quote:

you see a girl you want you get girl by messing with her mind, or making her jeloss

Yeah, it's like the phrase "any publicity is good publicity." Only works on certain types of women though (the ones who don't like nice guys or are otherwise messed up in the head already).

Kikaru

piccolo, you are officially banished from all threads regarding women, spelling, or music from this day forward. :-X

Jakub Wasilewski
Quote:

from this day foreword.

I suggest you also ban yourself from threads regarding spelling :P.

LennyLen
Quote:

I suggest you also ban yourself from threads regarding spelling

His spelling was fine, he just spelt the wrong word. ;)

Kikaru

Ah. Sorry, I use the spell checker in Firefox when I type quickly, so it slipped by me. :-/

Jakub Wasilewski

Nothing to be sorry for. I just find it very amusing when someone comments on another person's spelling and makes a spelling mistake in the very same sentence :).

Onewing
Quote:

piccolo, you are officially banished

Wha? How can you officially banish anyone? Besides, I bet piccolo gets more action than all of us combined. I mean, he's the only one who can do a proper sex stare.

And I second Bruce Perry.

OICW

Yeah there's something about Bruce's response I third that ;D

Kikaru

Oh. Yeah, I also agree with BP's response. ;D

And I can officially banish people with my authority. Note that I said 'threads involving ...', but not whether they were on a.cc or not. ;)

piccolo

you guys are silly if you think that girls you know are not doing the same think to weak guys you know. There is always that one guy in every group that falls head over heels with every girl he meets. all my stuff have been tested. I let my ex girl borrow a old computer I had because she did not have one for herself to use. when we broke up i got the computer back from her. and i every thing i suspected to be true.
of course like all, girls my ex like to log stuff. ether by telling some one or writing it some where. every think my ex girl did or though about you she told her friends on yahoo messenger so when i got the computer back i hacked her archive files.

i was not mad when i found out because she was just a test dummy to me. and she prove me right.;D

Samuel Henderson
Quote:

hacked her archive files.

Thats a bit evil. Just a bit evil though. I'd like to think that people would be honest and up front about important things so I wouldn't have to wade through MSN/yahoo logs... I know, I'm living in a dreamers world.

Michael Faerber
Quote:

I know, I'm living in a dreamers world.

Maybe you're a dreamer, but you are not the only one.

Now from which song/whatever is this?

Samuel Henderson

Thats from a song? I mean <cough> yes, everyone try to spot the reference...

Bruce Perry

picollo you are forgotten one vital think witch is the girl gave your back the computer so she knew you would find the logs, no one is that stupid she obliviously planeted the logs for you too find. she probably wanted you to think she is real gossip and dis honest so you will live her a lone the only thing you can do than is what she wants unfortunatley. well that or rape her

Kikaru

No! Bruce Perry has fallen in battle to the zombie hoard that is piccolo! We must avenge him! (Well, maybe...) :o

piccolo
Quote:

I'd like to think that people would be honest and up front about important things

that all i wanted out of her was to be honest. I expected her to do what she did. because I live in a different country and i,m not going to be with her in America for ever. but she could not be honest. I had to use my skills to trick her into telling me everything.

Quote:

picollo you are forgotten one vital think witch is the girl gave your back the computer so she knew you would find the logs, no one is that stupid she obliviously planted the logs for you too find. she probably wanted you to think she is real gossip and dis honest so you will live her a lone.

very few female have though type of computer skills and she is one who dose not have thoses skills(plus the dates and everything match up.)

Samuel Henderson

I think people have taken my comment about girls I am attracted to vs. girls I am not attracted to in a wrong way.

The girls I am attracted to already have boyfriends / fiancées as the case may be. I don't know this when I initially meet them of course. We generally talk a good bit and get along famously etc. Just when I am thinking things are going ok and this girl is pretty cool and I'm going to ask her out for some coffee or something she slips in the ol' "Ooooh, me and my boyfriend are going to <random place/event> this weekend! I can't wait" line. At this point I am thinking ">.< Crap. Ahh well. She's nice enough to be a good friend. I'll bide my time"

The people who are attracted to me are girls who act completely immature, kind of like the girls you see typical teen sitcom stuff. Or girls who aren't all there so to speak.

Kikaru

I think that says something about you, but maybe not. :-/

wearetheborg

Boohoo, I don't get women! :'(

Give me a break. ::)
Men don't need to understand women. Women don't need to understand men. Just try understanding ONE girl, and if you actually do manage to succeed, then you've got girlfriend (or maybe even wife :o) material right there. How about that?!

Bob

Why do women expect men to do all the heavy lifting in relationships? It takes 2 to make a couple. Some reciprocity would be nice.

piccolo

I understand women.

edit: i know why and how they do the things they do.

Dustin Dettmer
Quote:

Why do women expect men to do all the heavy lifting in relationships? It takes 2 to make a couple. Some reciprocity would be nice.

This is very true... Women (in relationships) demand things from men they would never do for the man.

GameCreator

It's pretty simple: women are more "complex." Thus, they demand more and think they offer more.

Samuel Henderson
Quote:

I think that says something about you, but maybe not.

I think it says that I have dumb luck. I don't ask people out everyday or anything, which seems to be what Diana is implying if she's referring to me. I never bothered with girls for the first two years of college simply because there were none that really interested me beyond basic conversation. I got the whole "already seeing someone" alot in High school which was really discouraging.

So in the last two and a half years this situation has come up maybe 3 times, which is IMHO is not too bad.

I just want to have a nice family :-/

wearetheborg

I wasn't referring to you Samuel.

miran

The plot thickens!

She's now finally with guy #1. The one she's had a crush on for eight years and lives far far away. I've no idea how that's supposed to work, but she says she's finally happy. I'll call her later today to ask about details. :D

As for me, I've been reading "The Game" (thanks again Epsi!) and it has filled me with incredible ammounts of optimism. I am now slowly accumulating courage to go out and field test some of the theories in real life. Wish me luck! ;)

Oh and no offense to (almost) everyone else, but I think piccolo is the wisest man around here. No, really. 8-)

GullRaDriel
piccolo said:

I understand women.

edit: i know why and how they do the things they do.

Wow, how can anyone trust such a lie ? Are you Mel Gibson ?

Miran said:

I think piccolo is the wisest man around here. No, really. 8-)

You are really full of optimism, but this sentence deserve to be sigged.

;D

miran
Quote:

You are really full of optimism, but this sentence deserve to be sigged.

What are you waiting for? Or should I put that in my sig?

GullRaDriel
Miran said:

What are you waiting for?

I think my sig is too big, I am already searching what I should delete from it.

Miran said:

Or should I put that in my sig?

I think it would be incredible ! Perhaps the first time someone sigs himself ;-p

LennyLen
Quote:

i was not mad when i found out because she was just a test dummy to me. and she prove me right.

We reap what we sow.

Samuli

I think I'll sacrifice my lame sig for this. Come to think of it, I'll even give it a certain theme.

GullRaDriel

My (lame too) sig is happy ;-p

Samuli: And coming to the theme thing, I can say that your have its own theme now ;-p

LennyLen said:

We reap what we sow.

It makes me think to "who sows the wind pick the storm"

OICW
Quote:

It's pretty simple: women are more "complex." Thus, they demand more and think they offer more.

Which means they have non-trivial imaginary part and therefore explains the trouble with them ;D

Oh by the way Miran, R.P.Feynman had some nice advices and observations on women - Surely, you're joking mr. Feynman.

Bob Keane

I wish I could add something constructive to this conversation. There is a woman I work with (or around) that may be interested in me. A couple of times when I had lunch, she pulled up a chair next to me. Unfortunately I was finishing my break when she started hers so I had to get up and leave. Hopefully she won't think I am a snob.

Crazy Photon

May I quote the Law of Attraction? You get what you think about, your thoughts determine your destiny.

You can choose to continue being sad or you can choose to be happy. Whichever you choose, you are right.

piccolo
Quote:

A (couple) of times when I had lunch, she pulled up a chair next to me.

wow she must have a lot of confidence. or she thinks your shy and is being the aggressor (this means she is well experienced in getting the guys she wants)

or it could be the work environment you job has set up where everyone talks to each other. i would have to know more about your job and the girl to make any further conclusions.
edit:
Crazy Photon: its called something else too we learned in it psychology

Crazy Photon
Quote:

I don't understand women saying they don't understand men. We act logically and don't change all that often (or at all really: our actions are always predictable if you analyze the situation).

Consider this: life is change. Perhaps with new knowledge over time, you can choose wiser actions.

Samuel Henderson
Bob Keane said:

Hopefully she won't think I am a snob

I don't think there is anything too wrong with what you did. If this happened two or 3 days in a row she may be wondering what is up, but if it is just an occasional happening I am sure she doesn't think anything of it.

I guess how you leave would affect her thoughts as well. I would probably greet her, look at my watch or clock and then appologize with a phrase like "<Sigh> breaks over, I gotta get back to work".

Simply standing up and walking out as she pulls up a chair would seem standoffish

Kikaru

I think we should contact the authorities at Roswell about piccolo, because he is clearly not human. :-/

"I understand women." That was a fatal flaw in your cover, piccolo. 8-)

miran
Quote:

There is a woman I work with (or around) that may be interested in me. A couple of times when I had lunch, she pulled up a chair next to me.

Until a few weeks ago a girl (student, early twenties) worked here (something like internship or something) for a couple of months. She would always go to lunch at around 11:00 after most other people would have already finished eating, sit down in a corner and have lunch by herself. She seemed like a shy type of a girl, so a couple of times I sat at her table and started talking to her. She was obviously not very comfortable with this and didn't want to say much. All I remember from our conversations were the words "my boyfriend". I'm not sure if she really had a boyfriend or if she just wanted to get rid of me... :-X

Quote:

Unfortunately I was finishing my break when she started hers so I had to get up and leave. Hopefully she won't think I am a snob.

Your lunch break is timed? Here people go to lunch whenever they feel like it, eat their food and than sit and talk for 10-15 minutes or something. Not always, but often. So if someone comes and sits next to you as you're already finishing, the usual thing to do is to stay there and talk to them until they're done as well and then you leave together... :-/

LennyLen
Quote:

Your lunch break is timed?

That's how it is for 80-90% of the workforce here.

Rampage

Is this still open? I ever thought so many allegators had experience with women, since there are lots of complaining about them. :P

miran
Quote:

Is this still open?

It will continue to be open for as long as it takes. :)

Yesterday I had one of the longest phone conversations with this girl in my life (over one hour). I asked her about what she's going to do about the distance between herself and guy #1 and how this is supposed to work at all. She said she won't do anything. She'll stay where she is now for another three years until she finishes school and she's going to wait for this guy all this time. They'll see each other only every now and then, not even every weekend! I mean just how does she expect this to work?

Matt Smith
Quote:

Yesterday I had one of the longest phone conversations with this girl in my life (over one hour).

Who wants to bet on that being her longest phone call that day?

See, I understand women perfectly. ;D

piccolo

buddy her up build a ruteen of talking with her make sure she enjoys it make her laugh and stuff.
then break the ruteen. if you did a good job at making her enjoy the old phone calls, when something bad happens to her or she gets bord she will call you and ask why you don't call her any more.
then you say:
"well... i wanted to (be with you)( or input what ever you want to do with her), so i was trying to understand you but i was not getting any where so i cut my self off from you. "

this could bring about a convocation like: well you knew i was with so and so : you say:
" well i know i know but if you was not such a buityful person i would not have cared about you. well i already quit so it dose not make any sense me explaining to you how i felt about you."

if she says cant we be freids don't exsecpt(this depens on the type of girl she is some times with a little alcohol(cataless) you can get-in later by exsecpt her friend ship).

me personly i dont do reagalar firend ships with girls not my style.

miran

Wise words! Two thumbs up! :)

Samuel Henderson

:-/

bamccaig

:-/**

Johan Halmén

Ain't piccolo a bit like Joey in Friends? Self-confident talk about girls. Spelling.

Samuel Henderson

This is the voice and conviction I hear in my head when reading piccolo's posts. (Only piccolo's though).

Edit: It's mostly safe for work. Just text and audio.

bamccaig
Johan Halmén said:

Ain't piccolo a bit like Joey in Friends?

That's not the impression I get...

He's more like that guy that makes the girl you care about cry and hate guys... >:( He is the source of women's stereotype of guys.

piccolo
Quote:

He's more like that guy that makes the girl you care about cry and hate guys... >:( He is the source of women's stereotype of guys.

dude this is real life my sister has lots of friends that do the same things that girl was/is doing to you. what else do you think girls talk about on the phone? they plot they take advise from other girls (good or bad).ex example of plot : girl has guy she likes and wants him to like her. girl also has guy who likes her and chases her(you). girl gets guy she likes to see that she has guys chasing her. guy she likes gets jelus and instrasted in girl.girl cuts off guy that is chasing her(you). guy she likes has sex with her. guy she likes is satisfied and leaves girl. girl is sad girl finds back guy that was chasing her. girl builds back up selfasteam. cicle repates with new guy she likes or in many cases the same guy she likes.

edit: don't be blinded good guys lose or get sloppy seconds.

Samuel Henderson

There may be some truth to what Piccolo is saying, but I can't make heads or tails of it =\

(Except for his edit)

bamccaig

Some women are bitch and some men are assholes. If you treat the nice girls like bitches you only create new bitches and pretty soon there's nothing but bitches. Works the same way if women treat men like assholes.

What's your first instinct when a woman mistreats you? To mistreat the next one and get 'them' back. If you play into this game you're only making it worse. Most likely the girl mistreated you because she, or a friend of hers, was mistreated first.

I prefer to be above it. Some women are bitch and they'll never really understand what men are. That's their loss. Some men are assholes and they'll never really understand what women are. That's their loss.

Often women are taught that men are insensitive and only after one thing. If you play that game you're only enforcing it.

piccolo

when i met my ex she said she had been cheated on before and she would not cheat on any one because she knows what it feels like to be cheated on. big long speech she gave me. i told her well i don't have any time for any games because i'm school and when i go back i have to work to get money to pay for school so i would not have time time cheat. i should have played mind games on her but i did not because i was in school and had no time.

edit:
my mom always told me not to mess-up anyones girl children. so every girl i get with i try to help them out in life.
i'm not a bad guy im just smart.

GullRaDriel

This thread is going mad. You all are overheated. Have a drink, smoke good weed and let your mind be free. Sometimes too much thought overkill the subject.

_

Samuel Henderson

Damn corporate environment! >:( Security just came and took all my bottles and drug paraphenalia away...:-/

I don't do drugs, but I sure could use a good stiff drink right about now. (For reasons outside this thread.)

Edit:

and Bammcaig get back to work ;)

FMC

This thread is fantastic! :D

[edit]

Quote:

This is the voice and conviction I hear in my head when reading piccolo's posts. (Only piccolo's though).

Haha, funny :)

Kikaru

sigh The world will forever regret the day I am forced to use weed to calm myself. An army of immortal vampires is kinda' hard to forget about... :-/

OICW

Sure there can be some wise words in the piccolo's posts, but for god's sake if he learned how to spell correctly it would be really good - otherwise his posts are totally unreadable.

Besides he's that guy that abuses feelings. Just read the post with suggesting that phone calls. I don't have anything against that, though I'd not be able to play with someone's feelings, it's dangerous and it hurts. And because of guys like him there are many girls who hate us...

FMC

You're just jealous of Piccolo's sex stare! >:(

GameCreator

It can get tiring being a therapist for women's moods. As a guy, sometimes you have to let out steam yourself. That's where Piccolo is right. Just don't make a career out of it.

bamccaig
GameCreator said:

As a guy, sometimes you have to let out steam yourself.

There are many ways to relieve stress and I try not to effect the people around me when doing it.

Sometimes I turn up whatever music helps (often Evanescence or Seether for this) and think. Sometimes I play Counter-Strike or go for a drive. It actually helps a lot to push yourself 'til you break: emotionally, physically, whatever gives you release.

There are times when I listen to Evanescence and reflect until I cry. Other times I pace around my house while Seether plays as loud as I can stand. In the summer I like to turn up the music while I'm shooting hoops. I literally just drift into thought and the real world disappears around me.

You have to work through things. Taking it out on somebody else isn't going to help at all. It's only gonna infect somebody else with the pain.

OICW

Oh seems like X-G is not around here, so I'll post it.
Shinji is emo

Johan Halmén
Quote:

Often women are taught that men are insensitive and only after one thing.

The sensitive ones are after two other things, too.

Inphernic
bamccaig said:

sniffles

http://www.duckiehorde.net/lp2.jpg

Bruce Perry
Crazy Photon said:

You get what you think about

No I don't :'(

piccolo said:

my mom always told me not to mess-up anyones girl children. so every girl i get with i try to help them out in life.

Er - L0L?

"Now, son, whatever you do, don't go around messing-up otherpeoples girl children."
"What do you mean, mum?"
"You'll understand when you're older."

By the way, don't take me too seriously about the whole 'planting logs' thing :)

GullRaDriel said:

smoke good weed

Please, if you must smoke it then do so covertly, but don't advocate it like that. It's illegal for very good reasons.

bamccaig said:

There are many ways to relieve stress and I try not to effect the people around me when doing it.

That's not necessarily a good thing. "Letting off steam" doesn't have to mean getting angry and losing all rationality. If you do have friends who have annoying habits, then there's nothing wrong with letting them know. Friendship is mutual, so if you care about them most of the time, then chances are they will care about you when you need them to. If you always act as if you're completely happy with everything they do, then the problem won't go away. :)

piccolo
Quote:

piccolo said:
my mom always told me not to mess-up anyones girl children. so every girl i get with i try to help them out in life.
Er - L0L?

"Now, son, whatever you do, don't go around messing-up otherpeoples girl children."
"What do you mean, mum?"
"You'll understand when you're older."

By the way, don't take me too seriously :)

i have 2 sisters.
I have a strict mother and father i was not allowed to bring girls into the house. i brang one into the house only because i though she and my mom would get along be cause she went to the same church my mom did. boy was i wrong. my mom chased her out when it was time for night church .i was 18-20 at the time.

Quote:

GullRaDriel said:
smoke good weed
Please, if you must smoke it then do so covertly, but don't advocate it like that. It's illegal for very good reasons.

A lot of people on allegro are from Amserdan remember "inter nets" is world wide.

Bruce Perry

I assume it's legal in Amsterdam then (I don't actually know). Amsterdam is in the minority, Gull is from France, and the reasons why it's illegal in most places are good reasons not to smoke or advocate weed anywhere, even in Amsterdam. I stand by my comment.

Crazy Photon

BP: Because you think negatively, you get the negation of what you really want. Try thinking positively and you will succeed :)

Bruce Perry

No, it was a joke. No matter how much I think about the girl I like, I never get her. ;D

OICW

BP: it's sad but I must second that. So that makes two of us and therefore a good anti-example for Crazy Photon's theory. :P

piccolo
Quote:

BP: it's sad but I must second that. So that makes two of us and therefore a good anti-example for Crazy Photon's theory. :P

its not his theory it was the find of a Dr i cant seem to find his name. i heard about it in sociology 101 when studying human behaver and depression.
some thing about humans blaming other for the feelings they feel, when it is truly they them self make them self feel the way that feel.

Crazy Photon
Quote:

Crazy Photon's theory.

It's not mine.

Quote:

So that makes two of us and therefore a good anti-example for Crazy Photon's theory. :P

As I said before, whatever you think is right.

Quote:

it was the find of a Dr i cant seem to find his name

I guess it's Dr. Atkinson...

bamccaig
Crazy Photon said:

As I said before, whatever you think is right.

That's not a physical, social, or psychological law; just a general observation. I think it's mostly based on body language in that if you think you don't have a chance you will express a lack of confidence (which all women bitch about wanting confidence) and so people either misinterpret it to say that you just have to believe in yourself or intentionally skip the details and try to manipulate others into doing better.

Unfortunately, as much as women want men to be confident, they're also quite successful in destroying your confidence. :-/

Psychology isn't that simple.

Andrei Ellman
Trezker said:

Here's balls [bullsballs.com] for you.

No, this is balls!

Rampage said:

I don't get men at all. ???

See my earlier post.

said:

In the end (and pretty much the whole time she knew how I felt), she accused me of always overreacting about her not coming online often and my suspicions between that backstabber and her. It wasn't really overreacting if you ask me. I would call it appropriately, and perhaps for her, inconveniently, reacting.

Even if your intentions are not sinister, they might come accross that way. Asking that she be online more often than she wants to be comes accross as being clingy, and it turns women off. She is under no obligation to be on MSN when you demand it. Don't think you have to communicate with her at every possible moment - only occasionally would be fine as well.

bamccaig said:

She broke contact with me a few months ago, claiming complete ignorance in the complexities of the relationship and claiming to be a victim of my jealousy and obsession... I'd rather not hear supporters of her excuses because it was never an obsession and my jealousy was understandable.

Perhaps you should try and look at it from outside your perspective. If you keep mentioning that she should come online more often, she will see it as obsession, even if you don't. But being in love can warp your perception of the world.

bamccaig said:

I still miss her, even though I'm also extremely upset with her for how she handled everything.

It may still be possible to get her back as a friend. If your circle of friends get back together again without 'her', don't talk about 'her'. Thay way, it will not look like you've been devouered by your thoughts of 'her'. If 'she' does return, you may still talk, but do not talk about how she 'handled everything' or her not coming online often enough. She might see you as not being obsessed anymore, and may gradually warm back up to you. Afterall, she has been known to un-block you from MSN. If you do re-open communication, do not come accross as being obsessed.

bamccaig said:

I don't understand women saying they don't understand men. We act logically and don't change all that often (or at all really: our actions are always predictable if you analyze the situation).

See my response to Rampage. But for reasons that just are, women are turned off by logic and predictability (not all of them).

But as Idealius said: fish & sea. In the meantime, I'd suggest you follow Dennis's advice.

Dennis said:

(Took around 12 years for me to reach that day and it felt great. I had to laugh about it for a good five minutes. I even stopped dreaming about her.)

Ah yes, the sweet smell of victory.

Arthur Kalliokoski said:

I've noticed several times that when I get a girlfriend after a drought, willing girls suddenly appear everywhere (seemingly too late) but the only change was in my perception at the moment.

Or as I like to put it: They come crawling out of the woodwork.

piccolo said:

feeling and "love" is a childhood thing like the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fiery.

Bullshit!

Am I right in guessing that you are secretly afraid of being hurt by falling in love, and to prevent that, you've built up a persona around yourself where you take advantage of girls?

Love is a wonderful feeling - allow it to happen. Sure, you may risk getting hurt, but it's part of life. It will build on your experience. Without pain, there is no pleasure. Without Yang, there is no Yin (or is that the other way round?).

There's nothing wrong with 'just screwin' around' if you don't hurt anyone in the process. But beware, love has this habit of sneaking up on someone totally unawares. Don't deny it - love exists.

Love like you've never been hurt, Work like you don't need the money, Dance like nobody's watching.

piccolo said:

In real life you see a girl you want [...] or making her jeloss

Making her Jellos - now, that's something I never thought of. If she likes the jellos, she might even make me a jello-mould in the shape of her ... no wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here.

wearetheborg said:

Boohoo, I don't get women! :'(

Give me a break. ::)
Men don't need to understand women. Women don't need to understand men. Just try understanding ONE girl, and if you actually do manage to succeed, then you've got girlfriend (or maybe even wife :o) material right there. How about that?!

We're geeks - we like to figure things out - it's what we do.

There's a saying that if all you have is a hammer, then every problem will look like a nail. If someone lacks social-skills or is shy or has low self-esteem, but is inteligent, it will seem only natural that they will see the task of obtaining a woman as a puzzle which must be solved. To do this, they apply their intellect. They think that if they understand women well-enough, they might just find a way around their shyness or whatever (in other words, they are trying to reverse-engineer a woman). Although I do admit that sometimes, the geeks are avoiding their own self-esteem issues (ie. they are forgetting to take themselves into account when solving the puzzle), or the things that fundamentally turn off women (eg. bad personal hygene) - not that I'm saying that all geeks who have difficulty with women have these fundamental offputting things.

We appreciate the feminine insight that you offer us, but I thought it's time I gave you some masculine (well, geek-masculine) insight of my own. Learn to appreciate the fact that us geeks are trying hard to please women by finding out what pleases them. Even if it is not the right way to go about pursuing a woman, you've got to admit that they are trying hard.

I too once fell into that trap, but now women have to put up with my easy-to-unsderstand (from my perspective) behaviour, not to mention my newly-found demand for bizarre jello-moulds.

piccolo said:

ex example of plot : girl has guy she likes and wants him to like her. girl also has guy who likes her and chases her(you). girl gets guy she likes to see that she has guys chasing her. guy she likes gets jelus and instrasted in girl.girl cuts off guy that is chasing her(you). guy she likes has sex with her. guy she likes is satisfied and leaves girl. girl is sad girl finds back guy that was chasing her. girl builds back up selfasteam. cicle repates with new guy she likes or in many cases the same guy she likes.

I have to admit that there are plenty of girls out there like that.

piccolo isn't advocating that you take advantage of women in a way that can cause psychological harm - he's just trying to explain the way some women think. If you put aside your prejudices about taking advantage of women for a while and read what he has to say, it does explain the thought-patterns of some (not all) women. Basically, she's using you as a floor for her self-esteem level. Even if she's not deliberately taking advantage of you, she might be doing so without realising it. One trait that men who get stuck in the 'let's just be friends' trap have is that they are predicatble. This means that she knows she can use you to recharge her self-esteem.

On the other hand, she may be worried that if something does go wrong relationship-wise with you, she'll lose you. Friendships are usually very flexible, but a full-blown relationship (or even a 'sex-buddy' relationship) has great potential for going out of control and causing much havoc. That's why women have the habit of having one-night stands with men who they don't have anywhere near as much friendship with than they do with you. They can afford to lose them, but not you.

Anyway, if you suspect that a female friend is treating you like this, make sure the friendship becomes a two-way friendship. As well as offering a shoulder to cry on, cry on her shoulder. In fact, if you fancy another woman, tell her about it (although I'd recommend doing that after you've already gone through the process of asking her to be your gf and she's given the "let's just be friends" speech). If she's already said "let's just be friends", she is unlikely to be put off by your thoughts of the other woman (unless she hates her). In fact, she will give you advice and do other things to boost your self-esteem. In fact, this might even make her subconciously jealous and if that jealousy keeps up, she might want to go beyond the "just frinds" stage. This is an example of 'messing with the head' or 'manipulating' that is neither sinister nor psychologically harmful.

piccolo said:

A lot of people on allegro are from Amserdan remember "inter nets" is world wide.

I live in Amsterdam (and have lived there on and off many years) and I've never tried weed. Others can smoke the dope-grass-spliff all they want, but this a.cc'er's not having any of it.

My personal favourite method of letting off steam / stress-reliever is to take up a martial-art such as Jiu-Jitsu. Going on long-distance cycle-rides is another good method.

Bruce Perry said:

I assume it's legal in Amsterdam then (I don't actually know).

Although it's technically illegal, the police have got better things to do so they turn a blind eye. However, if it's inside the confines of a 'coffeeshop', it's perfectly legal.

piccolo: Just out of interest, what is your native language? If we knew, we might just be able to make more sense of your posts.

GullRaDriel: Fais pas ecouter a ceux qui dit que ton Anglaise est merde. Je aime ton linguisteek style.

AE.

GullRaDriel

Wow Andrei ... you kill my mind (too much long post) ! ;-) Thanks for trying french, it is not too far from right.

I have corrected it JFTF (but I kept linguisteek as it was funny to read ;-p): Faut pas écouter ceux qui te disent que ton Anglais est de merde. J'aime ton linguisteek style.

For the weed thing, hum, bah ! I just want to say that everyone is free to do what he wants. If you do not want some, lemme take your part ;-p

Just a note, just for Bruce: Perhaps smoking/having/growing weed is illegal, but I never hear that it was illegal to talk about it, even if I tell that sometimes I take some. Telling things does not prove you have done it. Ok, if you take my blood ... perhaps there will be some THC inside.

Piccolo: What a strange man you are. You are not malicious, but strange, yeah for sure . ( And I really want to know where you are from too )

:D

Johan Halmén
Quote:

everyone is free to do what he wants

Either that or a society that is responsible for everyone (health care, schools and such stuff).

OICW

Andrei: my mind blows, the only reason why I read your post, was because there are really wise words there.

wearetheborg
Andrei said:

We appreciate the feminine insight that you offer us, but I thought it's time I gave you some masculine (well, geek-masculine) insight of my own. Learn to appreciate the fact that us geeks are trying hard to please women by finding out what pleases them. Even if it is not the right way to go about pursuing a woman, you've got to admit that they are trying hard.

You know what, I do find that pretty sweet actually.

Trezker

Today I learned something about women, and quite probably all of mankind.

People tend to yell first and clarify later.
If someone yells at you, you should let them finish and then ask why they are angry at you. Never assume anything! In many cases, the person is only angry at you because they have been misinformed or have misunderstood information.

A concrete example. Guy meets two girls and picks one. He later figures out that the girl he picked wasn't right and explains this to her, then goes to the other girl.
Then girl #1 is told by someone that the guy had been screwing around with girl #2 before the breakup. Girl #1 promptly gives the guy hell for it without even a thought of bringing up the reason and source of her anger which would have given the guy a chance to explain that she had been lied to.

Sadly, situations like this happen to people before they get higher education where you learn to criticize your sources.

Onewing
Quote:

Sadly, situations like this happen to people before they get higher education where you learn to criticize your sources.

I haven't seen "higher education" prevent or minimalize miscommunication (which always tends to lead to tense situations). There's been several times where I've told people, "hold up, have you actually confronted the person being talked about?" which they usually say "no." Then I say, "you don't really have grounds for argument until you've (politely) talked to them." Sometimes they take my advice, sometimes they don't. And when I say "they", I mean women. I haven't really had to explain this to a male because they typically don't care about what "he/she says about you-know-who". Yes, I know, that's an unfair generalization, but the ratio of having this conversation between men/women is heavily weighed towards women in my case and that's the truth.

Trezker
Quote:

I haven't seen "higher education" prevent or minimalize miscommunication (which always tends to lead to tense situations).

My theory is that people get so fucked up before higher education that they simply can't change their ways.

I, who have not meddled in the affairs of love, have managed to keep my mind relatively sane. Considering how fucked up my mind is, I think ordinary people must've simple cracked under the pressure of insanity and formed some kind of new twisted logic system so that they can survive the incredible idiocy one has to deal with to achieve reproduction.

Joel Pettersson
Quote:

Never assume anything! In many cases, the person is only angry at you because they have been misinformed or have misunderstood information.

As for incorrect assumptions, such they make as well, based on what - often little or innaccurate - they know. Knowing this, and knowing yourself to be careful with your assumptions helps you deal with them, indeed, but it doesn't solve the source of the issue - they making assumptions themselves to begin with. So while you can improve the outcome, the only way to minimize such situations is to minimize your involvement with such people. As a general rule, the more social the person, the greater the irrationality. (dealing with the ones that hang around in their little groups all day smalltalking is typically best avoided like the plague) Also, the more social the person, the more often they will end up hearing misinformation or unclear or incomplete information which they could jump to conclusions based upon - not to mention spread it.

Quote:

Yes, I know, that's an unfair generalization, but the ratio of having this conversation between men/women is heavily weighed towards women in my case and that's the truth.

Probably linked to the fact that the average woman both relies more on social instincts and is more social than the average man, hearing, spreading, and uncritically taking in more garbage.

Trezker

My main guideline in life is to not care. Which means that I don't do anything unless it's either fun at the moment or it's something that absolutely must be done.

Arguing is in my opinion a complete waste of time, unless I have nothing better to do, and if I ever argue and think about what I've said afterwards I find that almost everything that came out was pure bullshit.
So don't argue, use reason and prepare to be wrong 90% of the time. The human brain sucks, it tends to come to all possible wrong conclusions before finding the right one.

miran

I need more help understanding women.

Today I was back home (where that girl also happens to live) for the first time after a couple of weeks, so I thought I'd call her so we could maybe get together over a cup of coffee or something (like good friends are known to do on occasion). She didn't even answer the phone! I called three times over a period of two hours and she didn't answer any of my calls or call back and I'm pretty sure she can't have been far from her phone. This can only mean one thing - for some reason she's angry with me. The problem is I have no idea what I could have done to piss her off! I talked to her on monday and all was fine and I haven't heard from here since. All I did was send here some "funny emails" (she's one of those people who like to get this kind of mail). I can only assume she was offended by one of those mails or something, but I don't think that's it.

Well, it's not like I care or anything, I just think it's strange, that's all...

piccolo

how often did you send them. do you still have the links to them post them if you do. which one you think wound a fend her if any would.

also how many.

Onewing
Quote:

This can only mean one thing - for some reason she's angry with me.

That's a risky assumption. That might not be the case at all. You're gonna have to have some patience, or she's going to start making assumptions based on your actions.

OICW

Miran: don't worry I know at least one girl who is somehow "offended" by me. I don't even know why. We used to have interesting conversations on Icq, but then suddenly she began to be really cold, and she's been answering like "Well, goodbye." I still don't know what happened.

miran
Quote:

how often did you send them. do you still have the links to them post them if you do. which one you think wound a fend her if any would.

also how many.

Six in total, but she repeteadly asked me to send her funny stuff.

One of them was a simple message saying something like:

"NEWSFLASH! Scientists discover how female brain works" and then a link to this page: http://www.newportharbor.us/computerworks.htm, which should be familiar to most a.cc regulars. Shouldn't be offensive but you never know.

Then there were three stories written by a very funny guy. The text is all in Slovenian so there's no point in me pasting it here but the titles were "20 reasons why I don't want to be a woman", "20 things I envy women" and "20 things straight men can envy gays" so you can imagine how funny (and politically incorrect) they were. Also this girl doesn't really have much of a sense of humor, so I suspect one or more of those did it.

The other two were pretty harmless videos but they were both a little over 2 MB, so I might have filled up he inbox.

Another possibility is that she discovered this thread. :-X

piccolo

if she is begging that is good, still don't do not send so frequently let her beg. send no more then one every 2 day. if she is sending you stuff as well the numbers will change but still do not send more then she is sending you. if she sends a good one you can send a little note reply saying " I'm dumb!.. girl your crazy what web site did you find that one on " if you make typos in your short replys it is good because its show that you did not put obsessives thought into the reply (it looks more natural) but make sure she can still understand it though.Now about your content.. well i would not send that type of stuff to any of the girls i know. because your content seem to set a hidden theme. example that type of stuff would be cool for someone like wearetheborg only because you know she always jokes about that topic in these types of threads. but if you don't joke with her about that stuff i wound not send it to her.

i don't know much about that girl but with my current knowledge of her i would send stuff like this:

http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/270909735_3d641143ff.jpg

http://www.funnycatpix.com/_pics/tech_support_cat.jpg

if she in school writing a lot of papers ill also send this.
http://123pichosting.com/images/236spell%20check.jpg

if you want to wanted to make a advance on her ill send some of the "sealing cat whachts you masturbate" stuff

offtopic but good to know.
edit: a girl that likes you laughs at any thing you say even if its not funny.

edit:

she could of been reviewing the emales with a friend

then the friend mite have clued her on about the hidden messages

My choice of pics are: funny and cute at the same time
girls like cute

Onewing
Quote:

if you want to wanted to make a advance on her ill said some of the sealing cat whachts you masturbate stuff

You'll do what? And to who? Wow, I don't know what you're saying here at all!

Funny (and good choice of) pics though. ;D

piccolo
Quote:

Quote:
if you want to wanted to make a advance on her ill said some of the sealing cat whachts you masturbate stuff
You'll do what? And to who? Wow, I don't know what you're saying here at all!

there are a pile of picks called "sealing cat" after i have knowen the girl for a bit ill send her some of that stuff to see how she reacts. if the reaction is good then i know i'm one the next level with her.

i do a similar test for physical toughing of girls. normally the first way i touch a girl is in her stomic(belly) i make a mean face and poke her with one finger not to hard but not to soft. then ill say something like (with smile) "you've got a Pillsbury doe stomic girl. you need to get a rock solid one like mines "then ill pat myself on my abbs a couple of time or poke my abbs repeatedly smile then poke hers again then ill laugh and stop. test over .

OICW

Oops, is it just me? Does anybody know what he just tried to say? :-/ ???

piccolo
Ron Ofir
Quote:

if you make typos in your short replys ... but make sure she can still understand it though

Now isn't that ironic! ;D

Oh, and cute pictures. Though I won't send any girl I know a picture of "sealing cat watchs you mastubrating" because it's just too... Disturbing...

piccolo
Quote:

Though I won't send any girl I know a picture of "sealing cat watchs you mastubrating" because it's just too... Disturbing...

Its a test. if she likes it, that mean you can get a little more sexual with her.

jcnossen

I rarely browse allegro.cc anymore, but the offtopic forum threads about women are always remain fun to read, even educational sometimes (except piccolo's posts :)
Thanks people :)
Although its kinda disturbing that I find these threads on a geek forum actually useful... :o

OT: What's up with this forum, why can I view page 1-6 when I'm logged in and 7-12 when I'm logged out? Some bizarre matthew leverton humor?

Joel Pettersson
Quote:

OT: What's up with this forum, why can I view page 1-6 when I'm logged in and 7-12 when I'm logged out? Some bizarre matthew leverton humor?

Regardless, you can reach the rest by modifying the page number in the url, the count beginning at 0.

Kikaru

Ok, so this picture sums up what I have gathered about piccolo:
{"name":"piccolo.GIF","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/b\/6\/b6701896a2d79a324f10dbdb6c81b6a3.gif","w":246,"h":368,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/b\/6\/b6701896a2d79a324f10dbdb6c81b6a3"}piccolo.GIF

Even has the abs! ;)

Bruce Perry

The number of pages is probably fewer when you're logged in. You can choose the number of messages per page. The forum probably always gives you links to the last six or something.

Rampage
Quote:

I rarely browse allegro.cc anymore, but the offtopic forum threads about women are always remain fun to read, even educational sometimes (specially piccolo's posts :)

Fixed!

miran
Quote:

but if you don't joke with her about that stuff i wound not send it to her.

That's the thing, she always makes jokes about that stuff.

Quote:

My choice of pics are: funny and cute at the same time
girls like cute

Good idea! Thanks for the links. :)

Quote:

Oops, is it just me? Does anybody know what he just tried to say?

I know exactly what he's saying. :) Except a girl that's not 100% perfect ideal weight might take that as if you're saying she's fat.

Quote:

if you make typos in your short replys ... but make sure she can still understand it though
Now isn't that ironic! ;D

But it's true. I've been told my mails are too neat and grammatically correct. By that girl! I've now adjusted my style but I still can't help but use proper capitalization and punctuation. Well, at least piccolo is a good teacher in this department... :)

piccolo
Quote:

Quote:
but if you don't joke with her about that stuff i wound not send it to her.
That's the thing, she always makes jokes about that stuff.

wow what time stuff dose she say about that topic.
you through me off with that one. until now i was picturing a stuck-up daddy's girl that gets upset when she cant get her way.

Quote:

Quote:
Oops, is it just me? Does anybody know what he just tried to say?
I know exactly what he's saying. :) Except a girl that's not 100% perfect ideal weight might take that as if you're saying she's fat.


In reality if you are in good shape your self you can get away with calling a girl chubby(fat is a little more harsh of a word)Its about how you say it. telling a girl she has a belly is not the same as telling her she is fat. girls have the 2 types belly there the over wight one you all know about, and then there is the sexy one they have when they are 23years old - and below.(some older women mite have as well.)

GullRaDriel

I think we should let Piccolo and Miran lonesome . They seem to understand each other perfectly :p

BTW Miran, can you send me a little part of the thing you are smoking, because it looks like it is too much good stuff. :-X

piccolo
Quote:

GullRaDriel: I think we should let Piccolo and Miran lonesome . They seem to understand each other perfectly :p

I showed some friends this thread and they said they under stood what I was saying as well. Then they asked me how old where you guys that did not under stand? I told them I don't think age is a factor though. I the main factor is some people have yet to look at the world at a different angel. Really sit back and think and try to figure out how things work. Why things are the way they are.

edit: you got to find out for your self that this type of stuff is real then you will understand it more.

Neil Black
piccolo said:

look at the world at a different angel.

piccolo said:

angel.

?!?!?!?!
misspell!

GullRaDriel

Piccolo, I was joking there. I do not need help to understand, I do not want to understand, I prefer feeling.

And do not get me wrong: I am happy with all the girls I had, and I am still more happy with the one I am with for near than 5 years. I live with her for near than 4 years. Yeah, it is "3615 mylife", but it was just for you to get it right :)

( And even if it was misspelled, I understand "angle" . People just have to read you as they would hear you ;) )

Rampage
Quote:

People just have to read you as they would hear you ;)

But angle and angel are pronounced differently.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Wisdom is wisdom regardless of spelling.

Epsi
Quote:

"3615 mylife"

I doubt that many will understand that expression.

miran
Quote:

I doubt that many will understand that expression.

??? Explanation please?

piccolo
Quote:

I doubt that many will understand that expression.

your guess is right

http://www.allegro.cc/forums/thread/590022/649376#target

OICW

Well, when I said I don't understand, it wasn't because of I didn't understand the thing you described, I didn't understand how did you described it - no capitalization, bad spelling theese seem to be enough not to understand.

Besides I must second Gull ;)

Epsi

3615 is a code to access pages on the prehistoric device that is called "Minitel" in France.

So it's like he's saying "www.mylife.com" nowadays.

(Yeah I know, France is weird ;D)

piccolo

Woa :othats a real "inside" joke. I would have never caught on. thank for the explanation.

Johan Halmén
piccolo said:

I showed some friends this thread and they said they under stood what I was saying as well.

They're used to your spelling.

Onewing
Quote:

They're used to your spelling.

I do not over stand what you're saying.

Rampage

Why don't we have a "Let's talk like piccolo" week?

Indeterminatus
Onewing said:

I do not over stand what you're saying.

You fail.

Rampage said:

Why don't we have a "Let's talk like piccolo" week?

You fail.

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