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This thread is locked; no one can reply to it.
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| How about a joke thread? |
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Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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This site is a mere shell of its former self, but about all I see nowadays is posts rambling about PC correctness or programming problems that are so esoteric that almost no one else can benefit from them. The very first time I checked out allegro.cc, I looked at a post where someone had bought a harmonica and was posting a sound file showing their prowess. You don't see anything like that anymore. So, I propose a new joke thread (in I don't know how many years). I'll start... A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. I'll be here all night, folks! They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
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Dizzy Egg
Member #10,824
March 2009
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Your brother has had a nasty accident; a steam roller ran over his finger. Unfortunately he was scratching his nose at the time.
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Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006
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I got lost in my own bedroom once. I slept across the bed because it was a hot night. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and there was a wall in front of me. The first thought in my head was "Where's the door?". By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul. |
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William Labbett
Member #4,486
March 2004
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Ha Ha
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Edgar Reynaldo
Major Reynaldo
May 2007
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Ox said: Let's start a yoke thread.
Peek said: Let's start a poke thread.
EDIT My Website! | EAGLE GUI Library Demos | My Deviant Art Gallery | Spiraloid Preview | A4 FontMaker | Skyline! (Missile Defense) Eagle and Allegro 5 binaries | Older Allegro 4 and 5 binaries | Allegro 5 compile guide |
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piccolo
Member #3,163
January 2003
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Current Humans. wow |
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LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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Potential Difference Humans are quite funny as well.
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William Labbett
Member #4,486
March 2004
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I think I've forgotten a key part of this one. I know it's not the best joke of all time but it's better than Christmas Cracker standards. A guys driving though a city in a van. A policeman sees it from his policecar and thinks somethings up so he pulls the van over and asks to search it. He goes with the driver round to the back. The driver opens the back doors and inside the van is full of penguins. The policeman says "You shouldn't have penguins in a van, take them to the zoo." The driver replies "I took them to the zoo last week, this week we're going to the beach."
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amarillion
Member #940
January 2001
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Why do programmers mix up halloween and christmas? Because oct 31 == dec 25 -- |
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William Labbett
Member #4,486
March 2004
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What did the cannibal say to her soon to be husband at their wedding ceremony? "There's no love more sincere that the love of food."
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Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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William Labbett said: What did the cannibal say to her soon to be husband at their wedding ceremony? Wow. That reminds me of a joke I hadn't heard in 50 years. The cannibal arrives home to find his wife cooking dinner. "Oh, no!" he exclaims. "Not missionary again!" They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
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William Labbett
Member #4,486
March 2004
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Thanks. I thought Amarillion's was good.
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Mark Oates
Member #1,146
March 2001
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amarillion said: Why do programmers mix up halloween and christmas? Woah. That's likely the cleverest joke I've ever read. -- |
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RmBeer2
Member #16,660
April 2017
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Nothing I would like to publish my work. But everyone here already knows that I don't have the necessary tools for that other than taking some screenshots of my games. 🌈🌈🌈 🌟 BlackRook WebSite (Only valid from my installer) 🌟 C/C++ 🌟 GNU/Linux 🌟 IceCream/Cornet 🌟 🌈🌈🌈 Rm Beer for Emperor 2021! Rm Beer for Ruinous Slave Drained 2022! Rm Beer for Traveler From The Future Warning Not To Enter In 2023! Rm Beer are building a travel machine for Go Back from 2023! Rm Beer in an apocalyptic world burning hordes of Zombies in 2024! |
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amarillion
Member #940
January 2001
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I don't remember where I got that from, but I can't claim credit for it. Neither for this one: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas. -- |
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Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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It works better if you say "Fruit flies *like a* banana". They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas. |
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amarillion
Member #940
January 2001
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I stand corrected. Good that I didn't pursue a career in stand-up comedy... -- |
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RmBeer2
Member #16,660
April 2017
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What does a programmer say when he wants to give way? "Press any key to continue..." 🌈🌈🌈 🌟 BlackRook WebSite (Only valid from my installer) 🌟 C/C++ 🌟 GNU/Linux 🌟 IceCream/Cornet 🌟 🌈🌈🌈 Rm Beer for Emperor 2021! Rm Beer for Ruinous Slave Drained 2022! Rm Beer for Traveler From The Future Warning Not To Enter In 2023! Rm Beer are building a travel machine for Go Back from 2023! Rm Beer in an apocalyptic world burning hordes of Zombies in 2024! |
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Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006
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A tour bus is travelling through Africa. They stop at a village where a rite is being practiced. A man is standing in a circle of women, looking nervous. One tourist asks the guide, "What is this ceremony?". The guide replies "They are playing African Roulette." The man intrigued, asks "Where is the danger?". To which the guide replies "One of the brides is a cannibal." Wow, we are really on a cannibal thing here. Wonder why. William Labbett said: I think I've forgotten a key part of this one. I think I remember the forgotten part. A police officer is doing his shift early one morning when he sees a suspicious car. He pulls it over, and it is filled with penguins. He asks the driver "What are you ding with these penguins? The driver replies, "I just got them. I don't know what to do with them". The officer says "take them to the zoo". The driver goes. Later the same day, the officer sees the same car with the penguins still in it. So he pulls the car over and asks the driver "Didn't I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo?" The driver replies "I did, they loved it. Now I'm taking them to the movies." By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul. |
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William Labbett
Member #4,486
March 2004
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Thanks Bob. That's much better. I love that joke.
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Dizzy Egg
Member #10,824
March 2009
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RmBeer2
Member #16,660
April 2017
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You: HELP!! the titanic is sinking!! ^^^ in wikipedia. 🌈🌈🌈 🌟 BlackRook WebSite (Only valid from my installer) 🌟 C/C++ 🌟 GNU/Linux 🌟 IceCream/Cornet 🌟 🌈🌈🌈 Rm Beer for Emperor 2021! Rm Beer for Ruinous Slave Drained 2022! Rm Beer for Traveler From The Future Warning Not To Enter In 2023! Rm Beer are building a travel machine for Go Back from 2023! Rm Beer in an apocalyptic world burning hordes of Zombies in 2024! |
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bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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You can't be saved unless you put your faith in me. Just because it's funny doesn't mean it isn't true too. - Truth -- acc.js | al4anim - Allegro 4 Animation library | Allegro 5 VS/NuGet Guide | Allegro.cc Mockup | Allegro.cc <code> Tag | Allegro 4 Timer Example (w/ Semaphores) | Allegro 5 "Winpkg" (MSVC readme) | Bambot | Blog | C++ STL Container Flowchart | Castopulence Software | Check Return Values | Derail? | Is This A Discussion? Flow Chart | Filesystem Hierarchy Standard | Clean Code Talks - Global State and Singletons | How To Use Header Files | GNU/Linux (Debian, Fedora, Gentoo) | rot (rot13, rot47, rotN) | Streaming |
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Maybe using al_rotate_transform() too much !?
