Yay, thread is still alive!

Thanks for all the kind replies and explanations and doodles!

Colored pencils on paper: (drawn in ergo therapy)

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Yes!

Ahh, beautiful painting Dennis

Yeah, nice drawing Dennis ! Why not try that on a copy of your black and white girl ? I mean, heh, colorize it !

Thanks a lot guys. Getting praised makes me feel good.

@GullRaDriel: Yes, maybe I'll draw/paint some humans in color someday. Colorizing existing pencil art does not work too well, the colors will all end up looking dirty.

yesterdays doodle in my sketchbook (drawn in a Bistro, going outside doing stuff I'm afraid of is part of the therapy):
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It's meant to treat Social Phobia, which according to google is the same as SAD. I'm making good progress on it, un- & re- wiring bad self programmings of the mind.

I did a therapy (CBT) for social phobia (bad enough that I was scared to death of any person coming my way on the sidewalk) for a whole year in 2010, also combined with a group therapy. Both of them had me do lots of exercises. But I did it completely wrong somehow and so it was counterproductive.

For example to enter a cafe, I approached the entrace, panic mode kicked in and I turned back. Then I would circle the block once or twice and finally push myself to walk in, shivering and sweating. Then endure a horrible 15-30 minutes in there, staring at the table not daring to move my head. Then finally get out again, drive home and spend several hours recovering from the experience.

I managed to do that maybe 3 or 4 times a week - but my anxiety didn't change. If at all that year just increased my fear of cafes. I still remember how glad I was when I finally stopped the therapies (having wasted lots of money) and could just stay at home and not leave the house for weeks again until running out of food

If by SAD you mean Seasonal Affective Disorder they are most definitely not the same thing.

SAD is depression mainly triggered or made worse by winter.

Yeah. I totally agree. I took a CBT course a local place was providing. It did help, but it was pretty short, and run kinda haphazardly. They just went through the booklet and let us tell stories of progress and whatnot.

My current road block is a lack of time, and so far, no doctor has referred me back to a long term psychologist. I had some free sessions at a gov't program that only gives you like 6, and then some courses like CBT...

Gah.

There are many places that don't even think mental illness is a thing. All you get is a "Buck up!" or "BE A MAN!" type of thing.

I see. Sucks that people have been using SAD for something else for a while. Figure they couldn't have picked something else...

Well, my counselor just didn't know what else she could tell me I guess. I just made zero progress. After a while she started being visibly bored by the sessions... but I was way to scared of asking to quit or not showing up anymore, so dragged on for a whole year :p

Oh, I accidentally cured myself earlier this year in some unconventional way. But it's really nice being able to experience the world like everyone else now, even if I had to turn 35 first :/

I really don't think that's the case. They think you're being lazy and just need to be less lazy. Many people can't comprehend mental illness.

This province's old school asylum is located near my neighborhood. It really does look like an asylum. It's creepy. They don't use that building for much of anything afaik, they have newer less scary, and more useful buildings for actual treatment.