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Clinical Depression
bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I think that I have figured out what was making me depressed, and it's so blatantly obvious it's embarrassing for everyone involved. I was depressed because I was oppressed. I was oppressed because you were oppressing me. You oppressed me because you are also oppressed, and you were taught that it's the correct way to be. And so every time I tried to say, "Hey, I'm hurt, can somebody help me back up?" you would quickly interject, "NO! You're SUPPOSED to be hurt! You don't matter! Just like I don't matter! If you suggest you matter again you're going to really get it."

Greedy and selfish girls in high school were manipulative and abusive, and you took their side because that's what you were taught to do. So instead of saying, "I'm sorry these terrible people mistreated you; that was wrong of them, and you didn't deserve that," you instead doubled down with, "STOP HURTING THESE WOMEN OR ELSE!"

That's really all that depression is. It's the side-effect of long-term oppression above and beyond what a person can handle. At some point, when the world refuses to let up, you have to accept defeat. And that's all that depression really is. Clinical depression is just self-defeat. You've been beaten up so badly by the world that you can't take it anymore. You know that you've been right all along, but you've accepted that the world will never see you or hear you.

Well no longer. I refuse to be depressed anymore. The girls who mistreated me in high school, and the friends who failed to give me a real chance all throughout my life, were wrong to do so. Even though they didn't know any better. Of course, they can be forgiven for their mistakes, because we all make mistakes, but that doesn't mean that their mistakes didn't cause me severe harm, or that I shouldn't talk about the harm they they did cause me. On the contrary, not talking about it is how you defeat yourself.

To overcome depression you must stand in the face of all of the people telling you that you're wrong and confidently defy them. Your depression will melt away. I promise you. That's really all that it is. It feels so dire because that's how commited to following the rules our society has become, even when the rules don't make sense anymore. Well I say fuck the rules. I'm God. The truth is that women are abusing our good nature and it's just as harmful for them as it is for us. So we owe it not only to ourselves to stand up for what we believe in no matter what, but we also owe it to our enemies who will suffer greatly if we don't.

torhu
Member #2,727
September 2002
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Who is telling you this, who is oppressing you? I was depressed for 3-4 years in my early twenties, so I know what it feels like. But there was no one else than me involved in that, and I got out of it as a consequence of my life circumstances changing for the better.

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Why would anyone need to be told that they're being oppressed? You don't think that I can comprehend it? God created a world for me that would provide a bounty for everyone. Then evil men and women erected fences and guard towers and told me I'd have to labour first and then they'd give me my share. Sounds like oppression to me. Just because you're dumb enough to buy it doesn't mean I have to be.

torhu
Member #2,727
September 2002
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Get off the internet and read a book, or go talk to people at the pub, join a choir, learn to play bass. That's my professional advice :P

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I'm at the OHL hockey game drinking my first beer in countless weeks. Does that count? I'm still right about everything that matters. 😂🍻😉😏

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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Bams, one of the following is true:

Either you're right, and you have a powerful unique viewpoint on the universe. In which case, you owe it to humanity to pass on the truth, which means you need to avoid the alcohol as it will distort the truth.

Or - we're right, and there's something really wrong going on inside your brain. In which case, alcohol will only make things worse.

So, in either case, stay away from alcohol and other drugs for now.

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Thanks, LennyLen. Don't worry, it was only a single beer, the delicious beverage, not the drug addiction and vice. I calculated that 1 beer was unlikely to hurt me, 1 downer, especially with everybody worried about the maniac inside. 🤣 Rest assured I'm not driving the wagon anymore so you aren't going to require me to work off of it anymore. I have beaten alcohol. Truth. And I couldn't have done it without all of your help.

I just smoked some CBD dominant cannabis. I'm confident that cannabis is harmless, but the Quitiapine that I'm in appears to mix amazingly with THC producing a pure euphoric mania that I'm still fully awake and conscious and intelligent with. Which is awesome. But it might trick me into breaking social rules that could consequence with repercussions that prevent me from spreading my word. Such as what happened the first time. So I need to approach cannabis with caution until you command the guards at ease again. Until then I have to walk and talk on eggshells. Makes it a lot slower to spread my word.

There's a more efficient rehabilitation than prison btw. It's called forgiveness. It's the only thing that works actually. I'm sure as fuck not going to continue following your rules if you hate me regardless. Fuck it. Better to rewrite the rules in blood.

You're correct, I do owe it to everyone to spread my messages far and wide. I'm just trying to figure out how to do that still. Each thing I've tried so far has failed. Any ideas?

RmBeer2
Member #16,660
April 2017
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I don't think we can be friends. I'm the devil according to your point of view, you don't make friends with devils. Certain? So. GRRRRAAARRRR!!!! >:@@@@

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bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Sorry! No. I'm the Devil 😈 from my point of view. You can't be because you can't chase God out of you. But no matter, whether your real number is approaching negative Infinity or positive Infinity you're still almost perfect just as you are. No need to change anything. I love you all just as you are. Don't mistake what you've become with who you are. The real 😏 you will only reveal itself when you're truly free to be yourself.

piccolo
Member #3,163
January 2003
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BamBam Lets have a chat on discord and whatsapp dm me the one you have

wow
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i am who you are not am i

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I'm game to talk to all of you. I invited piccolo privately to message me on Discord, but the offer is extended to everyone willing to talk.

Edgar Reynaldo
Major Reynaldo
May 2007
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Brandon, clinical depression can be scary, and hard, but as someone who appears to be bipolar, you need to be wary of your manic episodes as well. Reality can easily be distorted in this state. You may believe all of what you are saying, but not a lot of it is true, nor does it make sense. I'm still waiting to hear from my psychiatrist if he is able to help you.

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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Brandon, clinical depression can be scary, and hard, but as someone who appears to be bipolar, you need to be wary of your manic episodes as well

Before we start diagnosing Brandon as bipolar, it would be worth taking into consideration that manic episodes are a side effect of some antidepressants, which his doctors no doubt are looking at.

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