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jmasterx
Member #11,410
October 2009

I want my title >:(

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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GullRaDriel
Member #3,861
September 2003
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bamccaig ++ ^^

"Code is like shit - it only smells if it is not yours"
Allegro Wiki, full of examples and articles !!

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I just bought another ounce (28 grams) of cannabis from the provincial online store. They had a sale on. 28 grams of mid-range Indica for CAD$4.20 a gram (~CAD$120 for the whole ounce). That works out to being less than half price. I was nervous because I have never tried the brand before (Pure Sunfarms), let alone it appears to just be a random in-class strain that they had kicking around (it was just called "Indica Blend"). The description claims the entire bag is a single strain at least. Smells pretty good though, and the packaging claimed 15% THC so it should suffice for me, even if I have to vape a few bowls... It came in a plastic envelope, but I hate those so I transferred it into empty bottles that I had saved (so the bottles do not match the strain). All 4 bottles are packed full though. It's a shame that I had to expose it all to oxygen, but the envelope is pretty much useless for sealing it anyway... At least now it's all locked away in airtight containers. I'm tempted to buy some more, but I'm going to at least wait until I try it.

Edgar Reynaldo
Major Reynaldo
May 2007
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bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I would if I could, but it's illegal to import/export from both of our countries, and I would do anything for love but I won't do that. >:(:-*

Append:

I tried it last night right before bed. It doesn't smell/taste very good, but it's not very bad either. Just bland. Which is disappointing, but I can see past it for the savings. It seemed to work fine. Tonight I'll be vaping exclusively that (well, and concentrate) so I'll get a better idea how I like it. I'm not so strongly motivated to order more though now. I like my weed to smell/taste good. Gives me the illusion that it's fresh. :P

Append:

It's too tempting. I just ordered another ounce. >:( I priced up that quantity of a couple of other strains, and it would easily be CAD$230+ (so I'm saving about CAD$120 with each ounce). That should get me nearly to summer. Hopefully the next batch smells a bit nicer, but as long as it works it's a good value I reckon. :) This envelope I'm going to leave sealed until I run out of the other batch. I assume the sale is temporary so I didn't want to snooze and lose the opportunity. :-[

Erin Maus
Member #7,537
July 2006
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My health insurance stopped covering my hormone medication.

The wonders of the US healthcare system. :-/

---
ItsyRealm, a quirky 2D/3D RPG where you fight, skill, and explore in a medieval world with horrors unimaginable.
they / them / their

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Erin Maus
Member #7,537
July 2006
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It just means I have to pay out of pocket.

Between these medications, my endocrinologist, my psychiatrist, and my therapist, I'm spending $300-400 a month on healthcare on top of my insurance. :)

I have Medicare as well (it's like healthcare-for-all in US but only for senior citizens, blind/deaf people, and people with certain disabilities) which would likely pay for the medication but the pharmacist brushed me off about having and I don't feel like arguing in public at this time. (I didn't have the Part D stuff on me, though my pharmacist should have that on record).

---
ItsyRealm, a quirky 2D/3D RPG where you fight, skill, and explore in a medieval world with horrors unimaginable.
they / them / their

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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$400/month hurts for sure, but at least it sounds like you're getting a lot of bang for the buck. Of course, it could well be you aren't getting enough time with each. Better if they were all covered by [social] insurance though.

Actually this COVID-19 thing is sort of the perfect storm in Canada to rehash the "guaranteed livable income" idea. I think at least 2 parties are pushing for that to be reconsidered given the circumstances.

I would hope you shouldn't have to twist a pharmacist's arm to be discrete... >:( My pharmacist has a little privacy booth where you can go to talk.

As far as money goes, I'm confused. Is there not an electronic system to verify coverage from Medicare? Or don't you have an ID card or something for it? To go without insurance because the pharmacist doubted you had it sounds silly (albeit, personally I have gone without savings to spare my anxiety so I get that). I do of course understand not wanting to discuss private matters in public, but surely there's a means to prove you have coverage without revealing any private details?!

For example, to access health care in Ontario everybody has a plastic health card, similar in nature to a credit card or driver's license (the old ones were like credit cards, but obviously without credit; the new ones are like a driver's license, with a photo ID, etc.).

Erin Maus
Member #7,537
July 2006
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I have a Medicare card and keep it on me, yes, but I wanted to get home ASAP (you know, people being idiots with corona, I live in the city with the highest infection rate in my state, North Carolina) so I didn't argue. Off the top of my head, I don't know if there's a card from my extended coverage stuff, I've never had to use one AFAIK.

...

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Happy Easter, everyone. ;D Or Bunny Day as they call it in Animal Crossing...

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ItsyRealm, a quirky 2D/3D RPG where you fight, skill, and explore in a medieval world with horrors unimaginable.
they / them / their

Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

Have you heard about the newest Wikileaks!

Julian Assange's condome.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years of thorough research have revealed that the red "x" that closes a window, really isn't red, but white on red background.

Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest.

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I cannot sleep for the second night in a row (and it's not a new phenomenon). I'm not sure whether this is the result of added stresses in my life or cannabis consumption or some perverse combination of the two (let alone something else entirely).

Initially cannabis was attractive due to its mystery and promise of recreational fun. Research promised it was safer than alcohol, and beneficial for mood/sleep. Initially, both appeared to be obviously true.

Whereas on beer alone I could be up until 2 or 5 AM and routinely experience anxiety and depression along with other unpleasant side-effects, when I started adding cannabis to the mix I'd want to go to sleep at 9 or sometimes 7 PM and I'd fall asleep within 20 minutes and sleep most of the night, all while cutting my drinking down from 9/night to 4/night and making me euphoric regardless of goings on.

It seems gradually over about a year and a half I have reached a point where the high that I get doesn't put me to sleep or barely do anything anymore, and is perhaps actually keeping me hyper-vigilant. A few weeks ago I overdid a new vape pen that had me messed up for HOURS and it was horrible. It's also possible that broke something. :-/ I don't know why those things are so potent (of course, now they don't seem to do anything to me so maybe that's why...).

Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006

You may be overdoing it Bamccaig. Try cutting back and get more exercize.

By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul.
If we get apple juice from squeezing apples, and we get prunes from drying out plums, where does prune juice come from?
Since gasoline contains ethanol, can self driving cars get duis?

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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bamccaig said:

A few weeks ago I overdid a new vape pen that had me messed up for HOURS and it was horrible. It's also possible that broke something.

Just so you know, vaping can cause dehydration, which can affect sleep, so perhaps try drinking more water when you vape.

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Thanks, that's good advice. I definitely want to cut back on alcohol again. A month ago I was down to 3 or 4 a night, which is huge (and I wasn't even really craving it). If I'm awake for 8 or 9 recreational hours I drink a lot more than if I'm only awake for 4 or 5. A large part of that was going to bed early, of course, and cannabis was still working then to make me calm, relaxed, and tired.

Dehydration is an interesting diagnosis. I'm always dehydrated. A LOT. Largely due to alcohol consumption, cannabis consumption, and preferring a beer when I'm "thirsty" instead of the water that I should be drinking. I made a point to drink water today because you said that. I have a Brita water bottle, and I find that if I fill it up with water and put it in front of me that I subconsciously drink it before long. And if I keep filling it up over the course of the day I can drink several litres. Of course, having the discipline to do this requires a relatively easy day devoid of work pressures or other added stress. Which is not often a luxury I have these days it seems..

I think I have been experiencing more severe depression lately, and coupled with no sleep for the past 2 days it is taking a toll on me. I contacted my GP to discuss my mental health, as well as of course shorter term solutions for sleep and longer term solutions for substance abuse. The nurse appears to have misunderstood me, and assumed I was suicidal RIGHT NOW and immediately called me to check on me. :-[ I feel a little bad for scaring her (and taking up 15 minutes of her time). Alas, I don't fully understand why, but talking to her put me on the verge of sobbing (which was embarrassing so I tried to hold on until I got off the phone) and now I'm just kind of stuck on the verge... :-/

Anyway, we agreed to start with a phone call tomorrow to discuss matters with the doctor and come up with some plans. Initially she wanted me to come into the office, and I'm not sure if she was trying to cushion my anxiety or if it's COVID-19 related, but she changed her mind to a telephone visit first. That's probably going to be super awkward/uncomfortable, but hopefully there are some short term options besides merely cutting out alcohol and cannabis. :P

Append:

It has been a rough week. I couldn't sleep Sunday night or Monday night. Tuesday night I might have gotten an hour, but I'm not sure. Wednesday night was the same. I still laid in bed every night which I guess allowed me to rest sufficiently to function, but with less energy and vigor. I guess I was experiencing insomnia. And on top of that depression and anxiety.

I had the phone appointment with my doctor, who asked a bunch of questions, and referred me to a substance abuse service for counseling as a first step. :-/ Presumably it just gives me access to somebody to talk to, and doctors/nurses that specialize in treating addictions. Though I don't think it'll be overly applicable to me, I've set up an appointment anyway to satisfy the doctor and show that I'm willing to try. He initially said he didn't want to prescribe medication yet for the depression/anxiety, but after asking me a few questions he changed his mind and offered me some. :P I was wary of them changing my personality in unpredictable ways though so I told him let's wait a month. Now I kind of regret it because after doing some research after our call it sounds like exactly what I need, but I digress. I have another appointment with my doctor in 3 weeks so we can discuss meds again then.

Yesterday I was pretty desperate so I Googled anxiety remedies, and came up with sardines and Vitamin D3 (which sardines also happen to contain). In all I had orange juice, a 3000 IU dose of Vitamin D3 (after researching the risks and finding out what dose should be "safe"), a can of sardines plus the sunflower/fish oil they were preserved in, plus I vaporized lavender essential oil in my office while I worked yesterday. Then after work I got really drunk and stoned (7 beer in about 4.5 hours; vaped about 0.7g of cannabis). Thankfully after taking a couple of days off from using, cannabis is working a little better than it has in a while at least in terms of feeling properly stoned/euphoric/relaxed, if not putting me to sleep. I've also been drinking water all day during work hours pretty much all week. I think that's it... I managed to end work on a relatively good note too which set me up for a breezier morning meeting.

Anyway, it wasn't a great night. I still had trouble sleeping. And the alcohol was too much so I woke up sort of hungover at 7 AM feeling like crap. I emptied my bladder and went back to bed. I tossed and turned for about an hour and a half, but finally between my 8:30 AM and 8:55 AM alarms I fell into a deeper sleep and started dreaming lucidly! I haven't even slept in nearly a week, let alone dreamed, so I was ecstatic when I woke up and realized that I had been dreaming. Unfortunately, my 9:55 AM alarm interrupted it... And I had to get up for work. Hopefully tonight I'll have even more success now that it's the weekend! Considering the week I've had I feel great so far this morning.

Erin Maus
Member #7,537
July 2006
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I used to have great sleep hygiene (and still do I suppose).

The social isolation and stress of shelter at home has negatively affected my sleeping regardless. Every night I wake up from nightmares. I've had sleep paralysis three times in the last two weeks when I've never had it before in my life.

Having your sleep negatively affected sucks. :\

---
ItsyRealm, a quirky 2D/3D RPG where you fight, skill, and explore in a medieval world with horrors unimaginable.
they / them / their

Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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@bamccaig be honest with and listen to the doctors, counselors, and other professionals! It's not like they have a magic wand to make everything better right away, but at least they have your best interests in mind and will work with you until they figure it out.

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
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After 8 years of doctors NOT being to diagnose me, I have plenty of qualms with doctors.

But I still listen to them in general. >:( ::) You want to grow crops better, you talk to a farmer. Not some chick on facebook who posts "fertilizer causes autism" memes.

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs
"Political Correctness is fascism disguised as manners" --George Carlin

Erin Maus
Member #7,537
July 2006
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Each psychiatrist gives me a different diagnosis (schizophrenia, schizoaffective, ...) but I went from being disabled to a high paying job in a great city.

The secret? I listened to the medical professionals. Also a lot of luck. But that luck would've meant nothing without the help from the medical professionals. I owe a ton to my previous psychiatrist and therapist.

---
ItsyRealm, a quirky 2D/3D RPG where you fight, skill, and explore in a medieval world with horrors unimaginable.
they / them / their

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I usually aim to be honest, to a fault, and I fully intend to listen. I'll even obey if I can handle what they demand of me. :P I'm more interested in mental health treatment than substance abuse, but it's possible the one will help to resolve the other (or visa-versa). Quitting drinking would certainly save a whole lot of money, but it might also make barbecuing more of a chore than recreation... :-/ We'll see.

This weekend went pretty well. For the most part I'm back to feeling like myself again. I stayed up "too" late on Friday night, and slept most of the morning and afternoon away on Saturday, dreaming all the while. That may seem like a bad thing, but to me it was a good thing. I've been sleeping normally ever since.

I used to use my wife's handed down Fitbits to track sleep, but they all have died on me. She's going to try to get in contact with support this week and see if they'll repair or replace the most recent one that should still be under warranty. When I tried, they side-stepped the issue by suggesting some ridiculous troubleshooting tips that make no sense for a paperweight. ::) At least if I have semi-accurate sleep tracking the next time I'm feeling insomniac we can see what actually happened (as opposed to what I perceived happening).

I do find that I'm drinking faster than I like right now, but most of the time I can only tolerate so much before it starts to make me sick anyway so it sort of throttles itself down as the night goes on... I think I'm still somewhat stressed. A did a fair amount of gaming and hanging out with family/pets this weekend, which was good, but I could definitely use more time to catch up on unprocessed stresses.

My phone session with the substance abuse clinic is on Thursday (and I imagine we'll set up periodic appointments from there, assuming all goes well). Then in 2 weeks I'll have another call with the doctor to discuss that as well as reconsider meds, which if he offers again I intend to fully take advantage of. Though I'm feeling pretty good now, that's based on my own scale which assumes some level of anxiety. :P At least it isn't severe right now. I'm not feeling hopeless at this moment. Instead, I'm feeling hopeful.

Also, happy 4/20, I guess? ::);D

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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bamccaig said:

I'm more interested in mental health treatment than substance abuse, but it's possible the one will help to resolve the other (or visa-versa).

Substance abuse is very common with mental health issues as a way of self-medicating. I got back into heavy drinking and drug use when the meds I was taking for anxiety and depression stopped working. I've been switched to different meds and now I'm doing fine.

Quote:

but it might also make barbecuing more of a chore than recreation...

Depending on how things go, you might not have to give up drinking for good. I spent two years getting things back on track and during that period I didn't drink or do any drugs. Now I have the occasional drink or smoke, but don't feel the need to overdo it anymore.

Chris Katko
Member #1,881
January 2002
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Go sober to prove you can be sober. Then introduce small amounts of healthy "vice" in your life.

-----sig:
“Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” - Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs
"Political Correctness is fascism disguised as manners" --George Carlin

Edgar Reynaldo
Major Reynaldo
May 2007
avatar

Here's a little exercise I did with myself recently.

I've been smoking for 25 years. When I started, it was maybe half a pack a day for years. Lately it's been about 2 packs a day at times. I went with an average of around 1 pack per day for 25 years.

25*365 = 7500 + 1500 + 125 = 9125 packs in 25 years.

Cigarettes used to cost around US $4 now they cost around US $8. I went with an average of $6 dollars per pack.

6*9125 = $54,750

That's how much my education cost. If I had never smoked in my life, I would be debt free right now. Instead, I'm a smoker with asthma, overweight and I'm 50 grand in debt. I could be healthy, fit, and free of the burden of debt instead if I had just never started smoking.

bambams. I encourage you to do the same with your drinking and smoking habits. Figure out how much they are costing you, and what they are actually providing you with. Cost-benefit analysis if you will. I know you're good at that kind of thing. Then think about where you would be right now if you didn't drink or smoke at all, and you were in good mental health. Then make a decision where you want to go with your life. All the best.

EDIT
Continuing the math,

9125*20 = 182,500 cigarettes

182,500*5 minutes = 912500 minutes

912,500 minutes / minutes per year = 1.712 years

I've spent 1.712 years of my life smoking. THAT"S #%^@ED UP

Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

Edgar, how old were you when you started smoking and what was the main reason?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years of thorough research have revealed that the red "x" that closes a window, really isn't red, but white on red background.

Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest.

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