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Dating Advice: Asking Her
bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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We have a local annual winter carnival and I got a booklet from a local fast food restaurant advertising all of the events. I kind of randomly flipped through it and noticed that the provincial lottery monopoly is putting on a concert at the local OHL hockey arena. Apparently it will feature all kinds of music and have "something for everyone". That sounded kind of good, but I have nobody to go with.

I have been putting off asking this one girl out for far too long ("other Sub girl"[1]). I'm way past the "don't care" stage, but I have nothing to lose by trying anyway, I guess. So I decided that maybe I should ask her to this concert. And it seems on TV the guy always says "I have two tickets..." when they do that so I went and bought two tickets to the concert... The longer I wait the less sure I am that this is a good idea. I'm afraid that the concert will not work for her logistically and that'll fuck up my shot (i.e., maybe she would have liked to go out, but can't make this concert, and that blows my "one shot" to ask her out...). And just generally afraid of seeming creepy...

I don't personally know her or any of her friends. She just works at a submarine sandwich shop that I used to go to a lot. I don't run into her anymore because she changed from the usual location to a new location on the college campus. Which I only know about because I asked the original Sub girl... So now I have to explicitly go and find her to ask her out. I'm afraid it will come across as creepy to just suddenly out of the blue ask her out. I don't know... I suck at this.

And if I do ask her, how do I do it? Do I introduce myself to her first. "I'm <name>, and I have two tickets to <concert>, and I would like to take you." How is that? :-/ Too winded. Should it be split into multiple sentences? Am I forgetting something? Should I wait for her to introduce herself back? Should I abort if she doesn't? Should I instead say, "...and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me"? Sigh...

The thing that makes it worse is that I've never been to this particular location before so I don't know how busy it will be or what to expect. I hate trying to ask a girl out with lots of people around... At the same time, maybe it's creepy to wait until there's nobody else around. :'( It's soooooo hard.

HALP.

:'(???:'(

References

  1. The original Sub girl is here.
Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
avatar

Follow her to work, and find out which car is hers. (Hopefully she has one, this is a lot harder to do if she rides the bus.) Let the air out of one of her tires.

Then when she's about to get in the car, you can jump out of the nearby bushes and be like, "Ma'am, did you notice you have a flat tire? Let me fix that for you."

Then as you are expertly changing her tire (you've been practicing for weeks), you casually ask, "Do you know who has two tickets to the concert you've been wanting to go to? THIS GUY." (Double thumb pointing to your chest.)

Next thing you know, you'll be married with three kids, looking for a divorce. >:(

Sirocco
Member #88
April 2000
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My suggestion is much like Matthew's, but involves rope, duct tape, and 32 ounces of salad dressing.

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Dizzy Egg
Member #10,824
March 2009
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Matthew Leverton is simply put; my f***in' hero.

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Trent Gamblin
Member #261
April 2000
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So you like sub girls? Just out of curiosity, 6 inch or footlong?

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I forgot to mention that the concert is next Saturday so time is limited. :) How much notice is appropriate for this sort of thing? Should it be 3 or 4 days? At least a week? What? :-/ What about a date in general? "Dinner and a movie." Is it like a tomorrow thing or like a next week thing? :-/

Then as you are expertly changing her tire (you've been practicing for weeks)...

But then what do you do if she comes out early and catches you while you're practicing changing her tire!? :o

james_lohr
Member #1,947
February 2002

@Matthew ;D

bamccaig said:

But then what do you do if she comes out early and catches you while you're practicing changing her tire!?

Simple, you dash behind her car, tear your shirt and slap your face repeatedly. Then walk out from behind the car brushing yourself off with an indignant look on your face and, as she arrives, you say:

"Ma'am, I just caught a little scoundrel tampering with your drive, but guess who cleared him off? THIS GUY." (Double thumb pointing to your chest.)

Then you're pretty much set!

You should be attending Matthew's personality training course. He has whole chapters on this stuff!

But on a serious note, I think that the impact of all the things your focussing on is negligible in terms of improving your chances. If you've met in the past, however briefly, she will have formed a first impression. If she fancies you, then anything you say is going to sound charming to her. If she doesn't then cupid himself could guiding your tongue and she'd still be creeped out.

So, all this game is really about is asking in such a way that your pride isn't too badly hurt if she rejects you.

Elias
Member #358
May 2000

You should be attending Matthew's personality training course.

Definitely do that. When I had only done the introduction course and then met her again she suddenly wanted to kiss me. He may seem to charge a lot at first, but it's more than worth the money. I feel like a completely different person.

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OICW
Member #4,069
November 2003
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bamccaig said:

I forgot to mention that the concert is next Saturday so time is limited. :) How much notice is appropriate for this sort of thing? Should it be 3 or 4 days? At least a week? What? :-/ What about a date in general? "Dinner and a movie." Is it like a tomorrow thing or like a next week thing? :-/

Stop thinking, seriously. You're overanalyzing and overthinking this. I haven't read the whole OP, but I suppose you have an event to go to. Simply ask that girl if she wants to go there. That's all. If she'd like to go there, she will. And if not, well, then there's whole lot of other girls...

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jhuuskon
Member #302
April 2000
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You know the situation presents itself when it does. If you have time to mull it over, it's already too late.

Every time I've had time to think what I'd say or do, I never got the chance. My "gf" (she hates if she's called that, she thinks she's too old to be girl-anything) of 1½ years, it was maybe a window of 1 second. Didn't have time to think and well what do you know, I have a family now. :P

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Edgar Reynaldo
Major Reynaldo
May 2007
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Just go for it Bambam. Suck it up, and rip the bandaid off. You like this girl right? Well the only way to be with her is to ask her out. If she says no, well that sucks but then maybe she's not right for you. If she says yes, bambam might have scored himself a babymaker. :D

Trezker
Member #1,739
December 2001
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I think Matthew should write a book. Something along the lines "How to be a man".
I'm convinced it would make him rich.

Steve Terry
Member #1,989
March 2002
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I'm married.. you don't want any dating advice from me.

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Thomas Fjellstrom
Member #476
June 2000
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I'm married.. you don't want any dating advice from me.

I think your advice would just be "Get on a Chinese dating site". ;)

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Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006

If you want her, ask her out. The sooner you ask her, the less likely she will already have plans. The fact you are still mulling this over tells me you don't want her.

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bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Forced myself to go today to ask her (despite not being clean shaven). Saw the layout of the shop for the first time. It's small and busy (because there's a Tim Horton's in the same room). It is looking like a poor place to ask her. Worst of all, she wasn't even there. So I don't even know for sure she still works there. I could try asking Nicole, but I'm not sure how comfortable she is with me asking about other Sub girl... We'll see.

Other Sub girl's family seems to own a tattoo parlor around the corner from my apartment so that might be a better place to find her. Except then I'll probably have her family (i.e., her father) as an audience. :P And Nicole isn't sure her father lets her date yet... So it could be a rather awkward experience. :D

james_lohr
Member #1,947
February 2002

Quote:

Forced myself to go today to ask her ...cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cleeeeeerk cluck cluck cluck

Summarised for you. :P

Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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I knew I should have swallowed my water before clicking on this thread. >:(

pkrcel
Member #14,001
February 2012

bambam, that's definitely overly complicated.

Just go where you think you can find her and try it out, but do NOT "chase the chance" over and over....

I'm married so you do NOT want my advice, as well as others before me ;D , but I'd say that you should avoid out of the blue approaches...even thou that MAY work....actually it once worked for me but I always felt generally more confdent in building up the chance rather than chasing it.

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Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

bamccaig said:

Forced myself to go today to ask her (despite not being clean shaven).

Not necessarily a bad thing. Depends.
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Samuel Henderson
Member #3,757
August 2003
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bamccaig said:

I kind of randomly flipped through it and noticed that the provincial lottery monopoly is putting on a concert at the local OHL hockey arena. Apparently it will feature all kinds of music and have "something for everyone".

I have a feeling that they mean "something for everyone as long as you are older than 40 or younger than 20".

It's Sault Ste. Marie after all... If I were you I'd brace myself for a whole lot of country music.

That seems to be my experience at least. It's been a few years since I went to the particular Carnival however.

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bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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I like country music. >:( Apparently it's actually going to be like an hour of 60's music. They're covering some kind of "Frank Valli" "Four Seasons" thing for the first hour, and then doing a tribute to music after that... So yeah, I'll probably hate that first hour, but we'll see... Or will we? :-[

Samuel Henderson
Member #3,757
August 2003
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bamccaig said:

I like country music.

You sir are a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. I enjoy country music too, but so many people our age seem to hate it with a passion.

Quote:

Apparently it's actually going to be like an hour of 60's music. They're covering some kind of "Franky Valli" "Four Seasons" thing for the first hour, and then doing a tribute to music after that... So yeah, I'll probably hate that first hour, but we'll see... Or will we?

ftfy :) I like Franky Valli.

Oh by the way, While I was at the college today teaching I asked one of the Sub Shop girls (she seemed pretty cute, I assumed that's who you were talking about) if you asked her out yet. She had no idea what I was talking about.

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Paul whoknows: Why is this thread still open?
Onewing: Because it is a pthread: a thread for me to pee on.

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Oh by the way, While I was at the college today teaching I asked one of the Sub Shop girls (she seemed pretty cute, I assumed that's who you were talking about) if you asked her out yet. She had no idea what I was talking about.

No you fucking didn't. :o >:( :-X Did you?!

Samuel Henderson
Member #3,757
August 2003
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Quote:

No you <expletive>ing didn't. Did you?!

Hmmm. Well, you never know with me ;D. What do you think?

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