Hey whats up allegro,

Remember that thread back a while ago about new years resolution. We'll I've been trying to live mine this 2009 year. Its helped me a lot. This is what I said about my resolution back in that thread.

(you can skip this if you want all its saying is my resolution was to fail more, meaning take risk, because from failure you learn )
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>>>>>> MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION IS TO FAIL MORE <<<<<

2009 is my year to fail .

Ok, I'm not a perfectionist but I like to plan things alot.
This is good but often times socially especially with girls this
can be a problem as I tend to over analyze things which prevents
me usually from taking action because of fear of failure. I figured
towards the end of 2008 that failure is not bad, its part of life.
You learn from it and you get stronger.

So for example in the past I might have doubts about say asking a girl out to say a certain activity. What if this, what if that, and now its going to be who care what if. Just do it, if you fail its ok, you're not going to die life will go on.
And unless I fail I can't really move forward because few people who accomplish
great things succeed on the first try. So one must fail before you can
reach success. And if one(me) is over thinking and making sure its does just right so I don't fail I miss alot of opportunities where I may have failed and learned something. I'm stretching my hands out and embracing a year full of failure, lollL. Sounds funny but its true and the good thing with me the more I fail in such
social areas like say with girls, my confidence grows and gets better.
Because we'll I did it, nothing bad happened, etc.

So yea 2009 is my year to fail.
I can't wait to start failing, loLLL, wish me luck

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Yea thats what I said, and I've got a big opportunity coming up now. Theres this girl that I like and being the thinker that I am I've been over thinking whether or not to ask her out. You know do I really want a relationship, what about this, what about that, between you and us, I think I'm just scared. So anyways in the next 2hours I'm about to confront my fears in the spirit of my new years resolution and ask her to be my girlfriend.

I'll keep you folks posted as so the outcome.

Lolll, I'm excited, lOLLOLLL.

Say a pray for me,

Here we go

This thread is clearly a failure. *

_{* Congrats?}

I'm sure shes just giddy at it. Her and her girlfriends are probably hard at work over-analyzing it right now. Good work

Oh that reminds me of a trick: Get her friends to like you and she'll follow suit. Flirt with them just a enough to make 'em like you. Always leave with a good impression, save you best joke for just before the goodbye, look them in the eye confidently when you say bye.

That way, when they're over-analyzing your texts her friends will put in a good word for you (which can go a long with with women).

You haven't done more than ask her out, and the two of you are already having serious communication problems.

Yea at first I wasn't going to ask her out I thought the relationship would just show it. You know she was sending me all these positive signs telling me how awesome I was. But I was like you know what, you can't assume with girls never assume because they are just weird like that.

Also her and myself were talking yesterday
(we went jogging right before we played some tennis)
about life and she was like,

"I'm an old fashion girl, if a guy likes me he needs to ask me out to be his girlfriend, because I'm not owned by anyone and until some guy ask me out I'm just talking to different guys"

And she was talking about how there are other guys who she was talking too but she was still single because no one has asked her out yet. And she was saying one guy was jealous of me because she spent soo much time with me.

So I figured she was trying to send me a message.

Obviously communication is important in relationships.

I would say communication and trust are the foundation of most relationships.
So yea hopefully our communication improves.

superstar4410, again, i ask you the same question, have you even kissed her

Another idea: Don't focus on getting the girl. Instead focus on getting practice. Make your goal to learn how to do it the best way.

This has two bonuses:

1. You learn from it

2. Your nerves calm down, because you're focused on learning

2.5. Girls like a guy who can think well (socially).

There's not exactly a word for what I mean.

When someone is thinking critically and deriving intelligent conclusions their face changes. In my experience many women find that facial expression attractive. Its sort of 'proof' that you're a guy who can think. (In a well rounded, social manner).

Yea I went for it,

After she give that response that I posted above I asked her to clarify if that was a yes, no, or not yet.

Well She hasn't replied to that yet, and that was like 18 hours ago. So I'm just going to let that go. If she wants to contact me and still hang out I'm cool with it.

But I'm not the type to chase, so I'm not going to message or call her since she didn't respond to my last question.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at her at ALLLL, this is more about me not her. Its about me learning to relate to women, and gaining confidence, etc. And I feel great that I've move a step closer towards learning more about relationships and gaining more confidence. So I'm glad I did it and failed, LOLLLL.

Amen,

So yea I don't have any problems being friends with her, I'm just not going to be following up since she is ignoring or uncomfortable to answer my last question.

I wouldn't necessarily call having a complete conversation "chasing." That said, sometimes communicating like a human works best. For example, talking with your voice. Preferably face to face.

...

And now for something completely different.

A few weeks before I "met" the woman who is now my wife (we had actually met 3 times before but never hung out or anything), I had done something similar to what you're doing now, though I did it in person. I had a friend who I had a crush on. Obviously she rejected me, and it was for the better in my opinion.

So who knows, maybe something better is just around the corner. Women are like buses: another one is just 15 minutes away. Unless you live in a rural area, in which case they're few and far between.

Your lesson may well be "SMS is not a good way to ask somebdy out."

Obviously but do you think based on her feelings for me her repsonse would have been any different if I did it in person????

[edit]
I mean, if she really liked me and I asked her out (even over text) I assume she would say yess.

And if she really dosen't want a relationship just because I do it in person isn't going to make her say yes.

But I do agree, doing it in person overall is a better approach

pedophile + padawan