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Wish me luck guys (and gals)
Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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Well he does have a 15 year old Angelina Jolie in his avatar from that clueless movie ;D

[EDIT]
She was 20 years old! Must have been before the implants...

“Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as "bad luck.”

― Robert A. Heinlein

Dustin Dettmer
Member #3,935
October 2003
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Obviously but do you think based on her feelings for me her repsonse would have been any different if I did it in person????

Yes, her response would have been different if you did it person, during a rain storm, her teacher hadn't picked on her, the other guy had been less attractive and 5 million other things. Its all out of your control.

Get a poker strategy -- you want to win out in the long run. You can't dwell on single hand or you'll lose it. Focus on improving the chances of things happening. Be okay with it when they don't, your goal is to see yourself getting ousted less often than previously.

As to using texts: Girls analyze texts a lot more than guys do. I'm not sure we'll ever catch up to understanding whats going on in that realm of communication. Avoiding texts can help bring things more in your control (ie in person, on the phone etc).

bamccaig
Member #7,536
July 2006
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Warning to the OP: I'm an analyst-type and my ramblings may destroy everything you've worked up to so far. You should not read my post. ;D

Girls like a guy who can think well (socially).

When someone is thinking critically and deriving intelligent conclusions their face changes. In my experience many women find that facial expression attractive. Its sort of 'proof' that you're a guy who can think. (In a well rounded, social manner).

From what I can gather, being social is not about thinking. It seems to be about not thinking. Generally speaking I would say the social people I know have trouble thinking and don't enjoy it in any context[1] (frighteningly, they still want to be doctors and teachers...). Contrarily, those that are good thinkers all seem to have trouble socially (naturally, science/math/computer types often fall into this category; hence, we have many of these threads).

My observations, which some of you have already said do not reflect your own, have been that women typically fall into the social/non-thinking category (surely, there must be exceptions, but I have yet to knowingly meet one) and as a result don't make much sense and attempting to make sense of them is a doomed exercise. It's been my observation that people that typically do well socially seemingly don't spend much time thinking, and therefore haven't spent much time analyzing themselves and just assume all is well, and as a consequence of this are more confident; which, I'm sure most people have heard by now, women find "attractive". They also don't seem to put as much thought into relationships so they don't care as much when they get rejected or a relationship ends (they often seem more concerned with the social consequences than the actual relationship). Contrarily, those that do think a lot are often more critical of themselves, making them appear less confident to the outside world, and usually invest much more into relationships and as a result care much more about the outcome.

To add insult to injury, women regularly describe what they want as intelligent, caring, and committed, but in practice favor the unintelligent, uncaring, and uncommitted.

[1] There are exceptions. I don't think it's impossible for intelligent people to become social. I think it just requires the right conditions to be met (it probably helps to be raised in a busy social environment).

(Disclaimer: I'm mildly sleep deprived)

Ron Novy
Member #6,982
March 2006
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I think women tend to go for those confident guys even if they are completely retarded... It doesn't matter if you're good looking or not just as long as you're confident and not too much of an ass hole about it...

Funny helps a lot too, but always ask a girl out in person and not over the phone or through the internet etc. You want it be real and personal and show her you're not a wuss and you aren't gonna start crying when she says no... :'( If she says no then just be like "Damn. I should have gotten you drunk first... Hey is that your best friend... Hook me up!" There are many scenarios here, but if she likes you then her face will turn bright red and then you can ask her again by saying something like "Oh come on I'm just kidding... Come out with me [x night] and we'll have some fun." Just don't be too persistent and take the rejection and don't wine about it... You can't let rejection phase you one bit... Women can smell fear. They use some kind of Allegro 8 time_loop_look_head function to know if you'll wuss out... so don't! :P

Planning dates out ahead of time works well if you know the girl and her interests. Just don't force yourself to a schedule. If you don't know the girl it's good to have more then one place in mind ahead of time in case you take her out and then uh oh... the other girl you asked out is there... "Hey, I don't like this place... Lets go to this other place I know..." You might want the other girl to see you with your date (from a distance), but you don't want the awkward confrontation/introduction when she makes eye contact with you... [or in the rare case they decide to go home with each other instead ??? :o :D :-* >:( ]

Anyways... You don't want my advice :P Being yourself should be enough to find the 'one'... Unless of course your looking for two in which case you should just throw everything you think you know about women right out the window... :P

----
Oh... Bieber! I thought everyone was chanting Beaver... Now it doesn't make any sense at all. :-/

Thomas Fjellstrom
Member #476
June 2000
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Ron Novy said:

It doesn't matter if you're good looking or not just as long as you're confident and not too much of an ass hole about it...

A lot of girls prefer the Ass holes.

--
Thomas Fjellstrom - [website] - [email] - [Allegro Wiki] - [Allegro TODO]
"If you can't think of a better solution, don't try to make a better solution." -- weapon_S
"The less evidence we have for what we believe is certain, the more violently we defend beliefs against those who don't agree" -- https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/592870205409353730

Ron Novy
Member #6,982
March 2006
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Yes Thomas Fjellstrom... You have to be willing to slap an ass every now and then...

----
Oh... Bieber! I thought everyone was chanting Beaver... Now it doesn't make any sense at all. :-/

Thomas Fjellstrom
Member #476
June 2000
avatar

Uh, not quite what I meant.

--
Thomas Fjellstrom - [website] - [email] - [Allegro Wiki] - [Allegro TODO]
"If you can't think of a better solution, don't try to make a better solution." -- weapon_S
"The less evidence we have for what we believe is certain, the more violently we defend beliefs against those who don't agree" -- https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/592870205409353730

Neil Walker
Member #210
April 2000
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It's threads like this that makes me think I'm too old ;)

Neil.
MAME Cabinet Blog / AXL LIBRARY (a games framework) / AXL Documentation and Tutorial

wii:0356-1384-6687-2022, kart:3308-4806-6002. XBOX:chucklepie

le_y_mistar
Member #8,251
January 2007
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A lot of girls prefer the Ass holes.

Thomas, in other words girls arent attracted to wussies

-----------------
I'm hell of an awesome guy :)

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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I love these threads. :D

On a semi-realted note: Yay, only 36 hours until my girlfriend gets back from Autralia.

le_y_mistar
Member #8,251
January 2007
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LennyLen said:

I love these threads. :D

it's interesting to see which people are the complaining, and which ones are actually doing/giving advice. says a lot.

edit : superstar4410, you're on the right track, dont fall like the whiny ones in this thread/forum

-----------------
I'm hell of an awesome guy :)

superstar4410
Member #926
January 2001
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Yes its true sadly, girls do prefer the bad boy types.
I was reading this article this guy wrote about
"cocky and funny" it was this book that talks about how
to get girls to like you by not being that wuss and almost in a sense
acting like you are not interested and making fun of them.

But thats not my personality and I 'll admit seeing some of my friends
the cocky and funny thing works. But it dosen't feel right with my personality
you know belittling someone lowering their self esteem all that stuff.

Don't get me wrong, confidence is important and i'm a confident individual when it comes to life, i'm intelligent, have a nice body, a care about people, and with the intimate my relationship department my confidence is growing. And I would also say i'm pretty funny because girls tell me that too.

I think I'll just stick with my default personality of being that nice guy that I am and continuing to grow that confidence (because it is important). But I don't see myself being an a##hole anytime soon. Mainly its because I'm a Christian and even though Jesus never married, I'm thinking how would Jesus have approached a girl if he wanted to start a relationship what behaviors would he have modeled. I highly doubt Jesus would have approached a girl from the A- hole behavioral aspect of it.

Yea obviously our world view shapes our perception and how we act. And my religion/spirituality shapes how I treat others.

So yea, but its all good. I have faith that God is just training me and whipping me up into shape so when its time for the right women that he has for me I will be prepared. So no, this isn't a woe with me post. Hey thats life, and I see this relationship domain as my final frontier.

I got the other domains pretty set, so hey no one can be perfect right?
I'm intelligent
(logically)

My professional career is set
(I'm a licensed mental health therapist that works with kids (3-18yrs old)

I'm healthy, athletic, strong, good cardio
(5% body fat, done two centuries before on the bike 100mile rides, I can bench over my body weight)

My spiritual life is at peace

I'm a charitable person and like being around people
and sociable

Its just that initmate relationship part that I suck at, but like I said no worries. I'm going to just be myself and learn from the past and it will work out.
Thanks for all the great feedback folks :)

Don't take yourself too seriously, but do take your responsibilities very seriously.

wearetheborg
Queen of the Universe
June 2003

Well done superstar, you've accomplished what 90% of the a.cc posters don't even have the guts to try (asking someone out). Good to see you're not taking her response personally.

__________________
You!!... Off my planet!!

james_lohr
Member #1,947
February 2002

5% body fat

:o Isn't 5% into the realms of post steroid cycle / unmaintainable without muscle loss? I thought I was doing well having finally reached sub 10%.

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
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{"name":"598948","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/b\/d\/bd14b0419650f889df0e902849d6ad21.png","w":538,"h":379,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/b\/d\/bd14b0419650f889df0e902849d6ad21"}598948

superstar4410
Member #926
January 2001
avatar

Yea about 5%, no I dont take steriods. I made this poster of myself back in 2005, but I'm like in the same shape now so yea (i'm 27). Obviously I photoshopped the image by changing the color tones of my skin to more redish and added the flames and stuff but I didn't photoshop on muscles. I eat very healthy and I cycle alot which cuts lots of fat. I actually cycle not to loose weight but because its fun (i'm a bike kid at heart)

{"name":"Flex2_by_superstar4410.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/d\/8\/d8e380b3501a29a5c1ddedd2a7216cca.jpg","w":859,"h":838,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/d\/8\/d8e380b3501a29a5c1ddedd2a7216cca"}Flex2_by_superstar4410.jpg

(I'm not a body builder) I just have lean genes, I'm originally from LIberia now in uSa, but we are lean and skinny. So I natuarlly have low body fat. I started working out and gaining muscle and eating healthy and it came togethere

As for the 5% number. I got that from when I was in college and they tested our body fat in my health class and thats what the dude said, he said 6% I think and I've been 164 pounds for the last 7 years. So I figure I'm about the same body fat.
Sometimes I do find myself loosing muscle mass, it rasies and fall.

But I don't show off my body really. Most people think I'm weak and skinny because well I look that way. Tall and slender, this is a graduation college poster I made a while back, see how with clothes on I look pretty skinny

{"name":"accomplishment.jpg","src":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/9\/b\/9b18f316c0cbc1b831b96027b9056e63.jpg","w":300,"h":414,"tn":"\/\/djungxnpq2nug.cloudfront.net\/image\/cache\/9\/b\/9b18f316c0cbc1b831b96027b9056e63"}accomplishment.jpg

So guys here the update.
She just messaged me back and was like

"I'm sorry that I've send you wrong signals.
Even though I'm sure I didn't. I care for you its true.
You are a great friend, I'm just not ready for a relationship.
I basically just want to be like this for this time being. I'm
sorry I cannot accept being your girlfriend."

So I reply and say

"
Thanks for the reply, its cool
I understand and am comfortable with that.
As for wrong messages being sent or not sent,
hey thats life, not saying anything
is your fault, just saying situations like these happen
its normal. So to leave nothing to
assumption i'm not mad or upset about it.
You know we live, we do stuff, we learn and live some more.
So its all good. So did you make it to church today, if so how
was it?
"

"

Don't take yourself too seriously, but do take your responsibilities very seriously.

LennyLen
Member #5,313
December 2004
avatar

I just noticed Sumo Wrestlers weren't in that table I quoted above. ;D

james_lohr
Member #1,947
February 2002

That's an impressive physique. Uncomfortable as it is, you're just going to have to wear tighter clothes if you want to attract the girls. ;)

Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
avatar

You're the guy that was asking about the bicycle tires!

Girls like to have a guy that looks like a bad boy, but acts like a wussy. Then all their friends are in awe of their control of the "bad boy". That's not to say they want someone who's such a whiny baby they can't pick up their dirty clothes or mow the lawn without crying because they broke a nail (the guy).

“Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as "bad luck.”

― Robert A. Heinlein

superstar4410
Member #926
January 2001
avatar

No I'm not a whiny baby.

Just sensitive(i'm a therapist so I have sessions with people talking about their feelings, etc )
and nice
and caring.

Don't take yourself too seriously, but do take your responsibilities very seriously.

blargmob
Member #8,356
February 2007
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...and buff as hell...

---
"No amount of prayer would have produced the computers you use to spread your nonsense." Arthur Kalliokoski

Ron Novy
Member #6,982
March 2006
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you know belittling someone lowering their self esteem all that stuff.

I can certainly say that belittling someone or making fun is not the way to go... It will backfire when you hit on some touchy subject and that all in good fun turns into a giant fireball flying at your face...

Quote:

sensitive
and nice
and caring.

I'm know for sure all that works... Anyone could tell you... But don't let it put you into that cocoon where you're afraid to speak your mind or take control. I've seen it and I know that cocoons don't work out...

Just get yourself out there more often and you'll learn from your own mistakes... It's the only real way to do it. Not reading books or posting in forums on a.cc :P

----
Oh... Bieber! I thought everyone was chanting Beaver... Now it doesn't make any sense at all. :-/

Matthew Leverton
Supreme Loser
January 1999
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Quote:

A Guide to Body Fat Percentage [www.sport-fitness-advisor.com] said:

Women are fat.

Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
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The women I prefer are fat in very specific places ;)

“Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as "bad luck.”

― Robert A. Heinlein

blargmob
Member #8,356
February 2007
avatar

;D

---
"No amount of prayer would have produced the computers you use to spread your nonsense." Arthur Kalliokoski

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