Allegro.cc - Online Community

Allegro.cc Forums » Off-Topic Ordeals » Post your lame puns/jokes

This thread is locked; no one can reply to it. rss feed Print
Post your lame puns/jokes
Lupuss.Umbrae
Member #8,387
March 2007
avatar

Johan Halmén said:

Leider ist es nicht so lustig wie auf Deutsch.

Also sprach Babelfisch:
"Kellner! Was ist diese Suppe?"
"Es ist Bohnensuppe."
"Ich interessiere mich nicht, was es gewesen ist! Ich möchte wissen, was es jetzt ist!"

Was glaubst du, wie viele ... cough ... How much people do you think will understand this? ^^

--------------------------------------------------
I'm not a signature, I'm just cleaning here...

Michael Faerber
Member #4,800
July 2004
avatar

Ich, zum Beispiel? Ich fand es sehr lustig! ;)

EDIT: Ach, und wie ich sehe, du auch. :)

--
"The basic of informatics is Microsoft Office." - An informatics teacher in our school
"Do you know Linux?" "Linux? Isn't that something for visually impaired people?"

Lupuss.Umbrae
Member #8,387
March 2007
avatar

Michael Faerber said:

EDIT: Ach, und wie ich sehe, du auch. :)

Ach was... :P ;)

--------------------------------------------------
I'm not a signature, I'm just cleaning here...

Slartibartfast
Member #8,789
June 2007
avatar

ואם אני אגיד שאינדקס הנילפוטנטיות שלך שווה ל1 רק בשביל שיהיה טקסט בעברית, זה יכפר על כל שאר השפות הזרות שרצות פה? :P

miran
Member #2,407
June 2002

Flahrahatharahaatha harhatahhralamhratahar hartharathrhtatram. :P

--
sig used to be here

Jakub Wasilewski
Member #3,653
June 2003
avatar

Quote:

Flahrahatharahaatha harhatahhralamhratahar hartharathrhtatram.

Slovenian sure changed a lot since I last heard it spoken ;).

---------------------------
[ ChristmasHack! | My games ] :::: One CSS to style them all, One Javascript to script them, / One HTML to bring them all and in the browser bind them / In the Land of Fantasy where Standards mean something.

Onewing
Member #6,152
August 2005
avatar

klnklnujhil knujhujkljkiijnoknlm l,nllnmk;

Language by Cat.

------------
Solo-Games.org | My Tech Blog: The Digital Helm

Vanneto
Member #8,643
May 2007

Miranu se je končno zmešalo. Preveč Visual Basic-a kot vidim! :P

Quote:

Leider ist es nicht so lustig wie auf Deutsch.

Also sprach Babelfisch:
"Kellner! Was ist diese Suppe?"
"Es ist Bohnensuppe."
"Ich interessiere mich nicht, was es gewesen ist! Ich möchte wissen, was es jetzt ist!"

Das habe ich nicht verstanden. Ich meine den scherz. Ich verstehe gut Deutsch! :P

Ahh yes, the mutli-language post your lame puns and jokes thread. You gotta love it! :D

In capitalist America bank robs you.

miran
Member #2,407
June 2002

No no no, that was a partial transliteration of Slartibartfast's post into latin script. The second part I don't quite understand.

--
sig used to be here

Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

Das ist was Babelfisch hat gesacht. Du muss es übersetzen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years of thorough research have revealed that the red "x" that closes a window, really isn't red, but white on red background.

Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest.

Peter Hull
Member #1,136
March 2001

THIS THREAD NEEDS CHUCK NORRIS
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:HMgSWExjLxNu4M:http://www.adiumxtras.com/images/pictures/chuck_norris_random_fact_generator_6_3957_2224_image_2578.jpg

DanielH
Member #934
January 2001
avatar

Bob Keane, that was funny.

Ron Ofir
Member #2,357
May 2002
avatar

Quote:

ואם אני אגיד שאינדקס הנילפוטנטיות שלך שווה ל1 רק בשביל שיהיה טקסט בעברית, זה יכפר על כל שאר השפות הזרות שרצות פה? :P

אני חייב להודות שאני לא מבין את הבדיחה גם כשהיא בעברית...

Vanneto
Member #8,643
May 2007

Debo decir, Allegrians soy muy extraño. Pueden dar vuelta a un buen hilo de rosca en desperdicios… ¡Oh bien, mientras su diversión!

P.S. Translating this back to english DOES NOT give accurat translation. :P

In capitalist America bank robs you.

Rampage
Member #3,035
December 2002
avatar

It doesn't mean anything in Spanish either.

-R

Lupuss.Umbrae
Member #8,387
March 2007
avatar

Bei Odin und was sonst noch heilig ist...

OK, now I completely lost the line...

--------------------------------------------------
I'm not a signature, I'm just cleaning here...

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

友達は最近日本語を勉強してきましたよ。ひらがなを習ってて、
もう「な」行をほとんど覚えたようです。でもなぜなのか分からないけど
「ぬ」をなかなか覚えられていないようですよ。ぬなのにね。 :o

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
avatar

If you try Bob Keane's "search" in the real Google, the albinoblacksheep page is rated #1!

They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas.

Bob Keane
Member #7,342
June 2006

You need to hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button.

By reading this sig, I, the reader, agree to render my soul to Bob Keane. I, the reader, understand this is a legally binding contract and freely render my soul.
"Love thy neighbor as much as you love yourself means be nice to the people next door. Everyone else can go to hell. Missy Cooper.
The advantage to learning something on your own is that there is no one there to tell you something can't be done.

Arthur Kalliokoski
Second in Command
February 2005
avatar

Our credit manager is Ms. Helen Waite.
So if you want us to extend credit, go to Helen Waite.

I was rich once, but I spent some on wine, some on women, some on song.
The rest I spent foolishly.

I got a sweater for Christmas.
What I really wanted was a screamer or moaner.

Doctor! I'm 3 inches shorter than 20 years ago! I'm SHRINKING!
Doc: Take it easy! You'll just have to be a little patient!

A marine biologist developed a species of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.

[EDIT]
Forgot this one!

Dixon, Cox and Peters, Attorneys at Law
We'll screw you good!

and of course Dewey, Cheatam and Howe.

They all watch too much MSNBC... they get ideas.

Don Freeman
Member #5,110
October 2004
avatar

"Never Argue With A Woman"

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. ;D

--
"Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don’t deserve me. They’re right, you don’t deserve me, but I deserve you."
"It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it."

Johan Halmén
Member #1,550
September 2001

If a man, in the middle of a forest, says something and there's no woman hearing, is he still wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years of thorough research have revealed that the red "x" that closes a window, really isn't red, but white on red background.

Years of thorough research have revealed that what people find beautiful about the Mandelbrot set is not the set itself, but all the rest.

Neil Black
Member #7,867
October 2006
avatar

Yes. The 1987 International Women's Society's 19h decree "All men, in every situation, for all time, are wrong, unless he is following the direct orders of a woman, or is spending large amounts of money on her."

Kibiz0r
Member #6,203
September 2005
avatar

"If a ninja falls in the forest, does it make a sound?"
"If a ninja anywhere does anything, it doesn't make a sound. And if it does, it's the last sound you'll ever hear."

Neil Black
Member #7,867
October 2006
avatar

Q: If a ninja falls in the forest, and Chuck Norris hears it, does it make a sound?
A: No, Chuck Norris doesn't give it the chance to scream.



Go to: