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the hardest thing you've ever had to do in life
Derezo
Member #1,666
April 2001
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heheheh, I like that page gnolam. That's pretty funny.

"He who controls the stuffing controls the Universe"

gnolam
Member #2,030
March 2002
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It's not your English, it's the use of "u" instead of "you"... sorry, but it just drives me crazy when people do that :)

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Move to the Democratic People's Republic of Vivendi Universal (formerly known as Sweden) - officially democracy- and privacy-free since 2008-06-18!

CGamesPlay
Member #2,559
July 2002
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I guess I'm in too much a philisophical mood right now, here's my commentary on this thread:

Derezo said:

Suicide comes up all too often on these forums.

Because You Don't Belong.

ibito said:

I dont know where is the hard thing on dating or being with a girl... just... be yourself,...

First, lose that last comma. Then, I am totally with X-G on this one. Being yourself might be all you need to know to get a girl friend, but not a girlfriend. Reason being, you aren't really compatible with the girl you are trying to get with, you are trying to impress her so you can get some...:)

spellcaster said:

Do you think an email is the best medium for that?

In this case, it is acceptable... Not the best, but good enough.

drivetheory.org said:

Engaging in text chat, phone conversations, cybersex, and things of such nature are not the same as knowing, befriending & becoming intimate with someone in REAL LIFE, hence why it is called VIRTUAL REALITY.

--
Tomasu: Every time you read this: hugging!

Ryan Patterson - <http://cgamesplay.com/>

ibito
Member #2,784
September 2002
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Quote:

First, lose that last comma. Then, I am totally with X-G on this one. Being yourself might be all you need to know to get a girl friend, but not a girlfriend. Reason being, you aren't really compatible with the girl you are trying to get with, you are trying to impress her so you can get some...

but you (:P) need to know the girl, and the girl has to know you too, at least you just want to f*** with her ;D.

[edit]well... a note: my advice is because it worked for me fine

CGamesPlay
Member #2,559
July 2002
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Eh, wait... I wrote that post at two seperate times, I must have been in two seperate mindsets:

Me personally, I agree with you (but I agreed with X-G on something or other... Ack, already forgot) And I don't try to get with girls so I can get some.

Quote:

at least you just want to f*** with her

"want to f*** her", you mean? :)

--
Tomasu: Every time you read this: hugging!

Ryan Patterson - <http://cgamesplay.com/>

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

When you're a teenager, sex is the most important thing. You might try to kid yourself that it isn't, but it probably is. If you are, I imagine, like most of the people here - too shy or weird or both (hey, it takes some weirdness to write a game!) - then you will unnecessarily get depressed because you irrationally believe that for some reason no girl will ever possibly like you. Alternatively, if you have good social skills, you may get some sex. If you do, chances are you'll get your fair share of break-ups and arguments too (à la Neighbours). So neither way is ideal. Adolescence is hard; there's no getting around that, for most people.

In both cases, you are probably being pretentious. You are changing your personality - or trying to change your personality - to suit whichever girl you are currently trying to impress. You may be good at this, but it can only lead to a shallow, pretentious relationship.

With time, your mentality will probably change. You'll always want sex, but you'll realise that it's not all you want. Especially if you are of the less confident type, you should realise now that there's no point in trying so hard. What you need is a girl who likes you as you are and understands that you're shy. There are plenty of such girls around. I know at least one on line and at least one in the real world (hey, I don't know many girls). ;D When such a girl comes along, you won't need to pretend for her. That's why the relationship will work.

It should be further noted that when you do finally have sex with a girl you have a good relationship with, it will be all the more special if it is your first time. Trivialising sex as a teenager does no good in the long run. So personally I'm glad no shallow girl ever came my way before.

X-G, this all applies to you as much as to anyone else. But I know you won't listen, because you rejected ibito's advice, which was pretty much the same as mine. ::)

Be careful what you write, guys. There are girls reading these forums ;)

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

kazzmir
Member #1,786
December 2001
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This was hard, but not the hardest, but I sent an email to break up with my first girlfriend when I was in 9th grade. I didnt want to confrontation about it, so I knew if she read my feelings( or lack of them) she wouldnt be able to argue with me. Of course she called me later and complained about it but I basically just ignored her until she went away. Hoooya. Her friends absolutely hated me for breaking up with her over email and I feel kinda dumb about it, so I would say do not explain your feelings through email ever.

Id say the hardest thing ive ever done was learning to play Mendelsohn's concerto in E minor. 3rd movement or something. Im talented at the violin, but Im not that enthusiastic about playing it. Without my mom screaming at me constantly I never would have been able to play it. At the end I was quite good at it and scored a 95/100 at a local contest with it. So Im pretty proud of that.

KaBlammyman
Member #455
June 2000
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There’s nothing wrong with being yourself around women, that’s usually how women prefer their men; real. Posers/fakers need not apply. I don’t see how this advice won’t work, because everybody is human, everybody has a life story/uniqueness about them, and everybody who wants to love is capable of being loved. But, since I only know about myself and my friends, then that’s all I can comment about. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 15 months and before that, I’ve had a girl in my life steadily since I was 15. Why? Because I am my self, I speak my mind, and am really honest with women and I actually listen to what they have to say. Women are not hard to figure out; they are people just like you and me. It’s a matter of how you represent yourself and how much work you want t put into a potential mate and what qualities you and or your potential mate is looking for. Now as for a woman is making you feel bad or suicidal, forget her! There are other women that are better suited for you...hence the bus analogy. You must stand up and well….for lack of a better term, BE A MAN!

Oh, and staying on topic, the hardest thing Ive done so far is Discrete Math...I hate it so much!

->Insert clever quote here<-
http:my website

Steve Terry
Member #1,989
March 2002
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hmm, I haven't gotten a reply back yet, but the strange thing is that I've recieved three blank e-mails, from no one, the from line is blank.

___________________________________
[ Facebook ]
Microsoft is not the Borg collective. The Borg collective has got proper networking. - planetspace.de
Bill Gates is in fact Shawn Hargreaves' ßî+çh. - Gideon Weems

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

To be fair, X-G did have a bad experience. A girl showed all the signs of liking him, and wanting to go out with him - seriously, all the signs - and then let him down. What are your comments on that, KaBlammyman?

[EDIT]
Steve, have a look at the headers. the 'received-from' lines show the chain of hosts the e-mail went through on its way to you. You may be able to figure something out about the origin of the e-mails.

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

gnolam
Member #2,030
March 2002
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KaBlammyman: you haven't stopped to think that maybe the girls like your personality and not you being yourself - so that the ideal for guys trying to get dates would be to emulate your personality and not be themselves?
I promise that for every example you can find where a guy got a girl by being himself, I can find at least one who got one by pretending, and 10 times that amount of guys who are hopelessly single even though they are themselves all the time.

So come on, disprove my argument, I dare you! I'll only accept hard evidence, not anecdotal "I heard of this guy who..." stuff.

My advice to the guys out there who are desperate for a date/girlfriend/sex:
1. Be attractive - good looks matter
2. Be rich
3. Have a high social status
4. Be extroverted and charming
5. Have, or pretend to have, an interesting personality and life

Go by this list and you won't be single a day longer than you want to!

[EDIT]
Come to think of it, "hard evidence" sounds like the title of a porn movie ;D

--
Move to the Democratic People's Republic of Vivendi Universal (formerly known as Sweden) - officially democracy- and privacy-free since 2008-06-18!

CGamesPlay
Member #2,559
July 2002
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BD said:

When you're a teenager, sex is the most important thing. You might try to kid yourself that it isn't, but it probably is.

I can honestly say that it isn't for me... Despite what you may think from my previous posts in this thread; keep reading:

BD said:

If you are, I imagine, like most of the people here - too shy or weird or both (hey, it takes some weirdness to write a game!) - then you will unnecessarily get depressed because you irrationally believe that for some reason no girl will ever possibly like you. Alternatively, if you have good social skills, you may get some sex. If you do, chances are you'll get your fair share of break-ups and arguments too (à la Neighbours). So neither way is ideal. Adolescence is hard; there's no getting around that, for most people.

In both cases, you are probably being pretentious. You are changing your personality - or trying to change your personality - to suit whichever girl you are currently trying to impress. You may be good at this, but it can only lead to a shallow, pretentious relationship.

I agree, my comment about girl friend vs girlfriend came up about how most guys (and some girls) are trying to change their personality to get sex.

BD said:

With time, your mentality will probably change. You'll always want sex, but you'll realise that it's not all you want. Especially if you are of the less confident type, you should realise now that there's no point in trying so hard. What you need is a girl who likes you as you are and understands that you're shy. There are plenty of such girls around. I know at least one on line and at least one in the real world (hey, I don't know many girls). ;D When such a girl comes along, you won't need to pretend for her. That's why the relationship will work.

Exactly why I agree with ibito

BD said:

Be careful what you write, guys. There are girls reading these forums ;)

And if to further the be yourself remark, this is irrelevant. Whether there are girls or not shouldn't matter.

--
Tomasu: Every time you read this: hugging!

Ryan Patterson - <http://cgamesplay.com/>

Steve Terry
Member #1,989
March 2002
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ahh seems they were sent out as a newsletter from surclaro.com a MS Flight Simulator 2002 add-on website. Seems they messed up their newsletter somehow.

___________________________________
[ Facebook ]
Microsoft is not the Borg collective. The Borg collective has got proper networking. - planetspace.de
Bill Gates is in fact Shawn Hargreaves' ßî+çh. - Gideon Weems

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

Quote:

I agree, my comment about girl friend vs girlfriend came up about how most guys (and some girls) are trying to change their personality to get sex.

If you think 'girl friend' cannot become 'girlfriend', you just need to wait until you, and the girls around you, are older and more mature. :)

Quote:

And if to further the be yourself remark, this is irrelevant. Whether there are girls or not shouldn't matter.

That's an interesting point. So what you're saying is that because KaBlammyman made this post, it's right that all the girls reading this forum should be offended and therefore give him a wide berth? Maybe you're right. ;)

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

gnolam
Member #2,030
March 2002
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[removed by request]

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Move to the Democratic People's Republic of Vivendi Universal (formerly known as Sweden) - officially democracy- and privacy-free since 2008-06-18!

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

Would you care to comment? It's actually an expression I don't believe I've ever written down, or seen written down, before.

[EDIT]
OK, OED says 'berth'. Thanks for drawing this to my attention. Please, drop the sarcasm; I don't correct other people's linguistic aberrations any more (except when they appear in programs and so on).

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

gnolam
Member #2,030
March 2002
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[removed]
The post is hit by entheh's "disintegrate" spell for 55 points of damage and vanishes in a puff of smoke.

--
Move to the Democratic People's Republic of Vivendi Universal (formerly known as Sweden) - officially democracy- and privacy-free since 2008-06-18!

23yrold3yrold
Member #1,134
March 2001
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Wow; this got long ...

Quote:

Making small talk. I just can't do it.

I'm with you there.

Quote:

Suicide comes up all too often on these forums.
So does girl troubles

How about when your fiancee was feeling suicidal, like last night? :-/ She's okay now though ...
Michelle has some serious depression problems sometimes. I have too, but not since way before I became a Christian :) Not to turn this in the flamewar direction, but I get through most criseeze (:P) with God's help now ...

Quote:

that's u!! the man with the stupid jokes!!!

rotfl

As for the dating girls stuff, being yourself is the best way. When me and Michelle were first going out, I was taking applied multimedia and she was in television brodcasting, plus we both know computers, so we just walked on common ground until we got used to each other. If you have no common ground, why try? ::) Just be yourself and if that's not good enough for her, she's not good enough for you :)

Fun fact: a week after I met Michelle, I got hit by a car. Fun phone call; "Hi, how are you?" "Cool; I got road rash!" "Excuse me?"

Quote:

When you're a teenager, sex is the most important thing.

Yeah. That's why you stumble in conversation with girls; no matter how innocent it is, there's a little voice in the back of your head: "Say the right thing and you might get laid" :P

--
Software Development == Church Development
Step 1. Build it.
Step 2. Pray.

Evert
Member #794
November 2000
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Ok, I have a few things to comment on.

Quote:

Man, girls are like busses, there is one every hour, on the hour. So if you miss one, just catch the next one going your way! Dont let a female make you do/say crazy stuff.

This is not true if what you want is a serious relationship instead of casual sex (hell, none of the girls I know are even interested in that).

I can actually imagine being driven so crazy by love that you become suicidal. If your feelings are that strong, you can't just throw the switch and say `oh well, I'll pass this one up!'

My views on the matter are more or less summed up in BP's long post above (the difference being that I seem to have skipped adolescence in the sense that I was never really interested in sex::)).

Quote:

For me, and I'm sure many can agree, I'm hesitant on saying almost anything. So hesitant that I barely say anything, and half of what I say is pathetic nervous jumbles of words :P I know this happens to me, so when I'm anywhere NEAR a potential prospect (;D) I get nervous instantly, terrified that I'll do something weird

You're sure that's you you're talking about and not me a few years ago? ;D
I'm still a lot like that, actually, but I'm learning to be more open and less nervous - with some succes if I see what my social life is like now compared to a few years ago.

Quote:

Suicide comes up all too often on these forums.

Yeah; my best girl friend (NOTE THE SPACE) says depressions are very common among intelligent people... she says it may have something to do with neurotransmitters and hormones that make your brain work better overall, but also cause depression. Personally, I think you just have too much time to think...

--------

ST: if she doesn't answer in a day or two and if you feel up to it, get a pen, some ink and some quality paper and write the letter on that. Draw a red rose at the bottom.
Anyway, good luck:)

EDIT (wow, this thread grows quickly!)

CGamesPlay
Member #2,559
July 2002
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I can't tell what you two (BD and gnolam) were talking about, but:

BD said:

If you think 'girl friend' cannot become 'girlfriend', you just need to wait until you, and the girls around you, are older and more mature.

I don't think I said a girl friend can't become a girlfriend... I think most relationships start out as plutonic relationships then develop into dating relationships. Which is why so many kids I know go out with the poeple in their cliques.. Even at my church, every boy has been out with every girl, and vise versa... :-/

[edit]

Evert said:

Personally, I think you just have too much time to think...

Bingo!

--
Tomasu: Every time you read this: hugging!

Ryan Patterson - <http://cgamesplay.com/>

Derezo
Member #1,666
April 2001
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Quote:

Personally, I think you just have too much time to think...

I slipped into a bit of depression during christmas break - away from school, my primary cause of stress. I was taking philosophy, and we were talking a lot about racism, sexism, sweat shops, etc.. and over the holidays I would just sit and think about it, and get myself angry with everything because of how good I have it here. How pathetic all my problems are, and how pathetic my stupid species seemed to be..

So, in short, I agree very much. I can't help but think about the things that bother me. I know I shouldn't, but they're everywhere and impossible for me to hide from myself.

I was laughing at myself after though. I let it all out, and became really emotional due to consumption of alcohol ;D Felt good though... but I haven't drank since, heheh..

"He who controls the stuffing controls the Universe"

Bruce Perry
Member #270
April 2000

Quote:

I don't think I said a girl friend can't become a girlfriend...

No, it's just a common misconception. I suppose it's an argument used by those who are just after sex and are trying to justify themselves. I shan't mention names.

--
Bruce "entheh" Perry [ Web site | DUMB | Set Up Us The Bomb !!! | Balls ]
Programming should be fun. That's why I hate C and C++.
The brxybrytl has you.

gnolam
Member #2,030
March 2002
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CGamesPlay: Ok, what I was saying was this:
KaBlammyman basically says "be yourself, and the girls will like you - I am myself, and I get girls".
I say that that only "proves" that the girls like his personality (if that was even what they fell for ;)) - not they like guys being themselves. So therefore you can actually make a stronger case for advising people to try to be like KaBlammyman than for them to be themselves.

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Move to the Democratic People's Republic of Vivendi Universal (formerly known as Sweden) - officially democracy- and privacy-free since 2008-06-18!

KaBlammyman
Member #455
June 2000
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Well, X-G and Bruce Perry, being lead on sux. I know because it happened to me on several different occasions. It does hurt like hell, but the difference between me and X-G is that I dint let it get me down forever. I was hurt and heartbroken for a while, but I realized that those chicks didn’t deserve to have me, so I moved on. I eventually forgot about those women because of everyday life. Soon I was on the horse again and again, and again. I couldn’t let those things upset me; otherwise I’d be lonely and suicidal too. Trust me, women did me wrong many MANY times, but I realized that not all women are like that, and as I said before, I cant just mope around forever, what good does that do? All I can do is watch out for women like that, and chalk the rest up to experience.
Gnolam: I mean no disrespect, but D@MN you are tirppin’!
First off the last time I checked, my personality is part of what makes me ME! So being my true self lets my true personality come out. That maybe what attracts women to me.
Second, the first thing women look for is personality in a man for a relationship. Then comes looks and etc…last is money. Usually looks aren’t that important if the guy is right. Stay away from women who are shallow, you your problems will soon start to fade. Most people do have a good personality, they just don’t know it. I find that if people that are willing to try something new, it will lead the way to being "interesting" because they always have something to talk about. Either how they succeeded at something, how they failed at something, how they have a common interest or experience with the potential mate in question. There, is this “argument” good enough for you? I’m not sure what you wanted me to debate about, if you even wanted a debate. I don’t care for fakers, just like most people. Now if a person gets with another from being a faker, that relationship will NOT last long. So who cares if some one is faking the funk, they will be exposed, but the genuine person has a better chance of finding love that will LAST.

And I still hate Discrete Math...>:(

->Insert clever quote here<-
http:my website

CGamesPlay
Member #2,559
July 2002
avatar

Derezo: Yeah, if you ever have a few hours spare, check out http://definingbadreligion.tripod.com/... They are the coolest band.

As a matter of fact, I'll go listen to them now. (Actually, my dad needs to use the comp)

[edit before i leave]

KBMan said:

the first thing women look for is personality in a man for a relationship. Then comes looks and etc…last is money. Usually looks aren’t that important if the guy is right.

Maybe a little stereotypical (or a lot :))

gnolam said:

I say that that only "proves" that the girls like his personality (if that was even what they fell for ;)) - not they like guys being themselves. So therefore you can actually make a stronger case for advising people to try to be like KaBlammyman than for them to be themselves.

I agree and disagree at the same time... Sure, some girls like his personality, but his point is there are girls who will like your personality as well.

Maybe I should say peeps instead of girls... I think this advice (or conversation) goes both ways...

--
Tomasu: Every time you read this: hugging!

Ryan Patterson - <http://cgamesplay.com/>



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