An unfinished IRC conversation.. (with part messages removed)

<DDustin> so theres this chic at school that ive been screwing around with for the last couple days
<DDustin> we had kind of established that we didnt want to go out, but screwing around would be fun
<DDustin> or at least i thought we had
<DDustin> so anyway, yesterday i was kissing her neck when she asked me if i liked her
<DDustin> and i wasnt really thinking, i just wanted her to stop talking, so i said the first thing that came to mind to try and end the conversation
<DDustin> so i said "ya your chill"
<DDustin> and as soon as i said it i realised it was a mistake
<DDustin> and then she went on for like 10 minutes trying to ask me how much i liked her
<jotham> hah
<DDustin> and wanted me to scale it or something
<DDustin> (the whole time im kissing her and stuff)
<DDustin> so it was kinda funny
<DDustin> but anyway, she had to go to work, and told me to write her a note saying how much i liked her on a scale from 1 to 10
<DDustin> and 10 reasons why that was or something
<DDustin> and ofcourse i didnt
<DDustin> and so today at school when she found out she said that we cant be friends then
<jotham> hah
<DDustin> i dont get why its so complicated =P
<DDustin> i mean, im horny, shes horny, what more do ya need
<jotham> girls

<DDustin> well anyway, what do you guys think i should do with the other chic?
<DDustin> the one that got said we cant be friends cause of the note
<DDustin> i think by 'friends' she meant we cant screw around, as we were in the middle of school
<DDustin> and rumors spread like wildfire

So what do you guys think I should do? I really donno . I thought about calling her up and telling her that actually I like her, but I donno.

I kinda see how i messed it up, i probably came across as an i dont care about you just wanna screw around with you kind of guy yesterday, but thats not true, i swear! I just dont really want the whole drama that comes with 'dating' in highschool.

It's clear you two want different things out of it. If you can't reconcile the two goals, there's nothing you can do. Move on.

Women come from a parallell dimension governed by advice and personality tests read in girl magazines and spied from Sex in the City

"Establishing that you didn't want to go out" was probably just a test of some arcane and insanely complicated type

Sometimes you can confuse and stall them by demanding that they first answer their own questions before you do.

They don't seem to change much over time, so just learn to live with it

Your horniness will forever be used as a weapon against you

Sex is overrated

You didn't want to? But... didn't you just say... that you... did?

Darn right.

from your comments I guess you people (AngelChild, Chris Katko) have Had sex pretty recently?

Must destroy.. mental image of Rubber duck toy and Final Fantasy character in bed.. Noooo!!

Phipps: I'm sure there is some weird fetish-site for that kind of stuff

No, they just have their priorities straight.

If you don't like her, then don't lead her on.

Doesn't have to like her to want to have sex with her.

Dustin needs to find someone who only wants sex, not a relationship. Not telling the girl that's what he wants is only going to cause pain and problems.

So, tell her that's what you want. Or find someone else..

To have sex with someone, that someone must want it too. If she feels hurt she won't want to have sex with you. So you don't really have a choice, but to get another 'friend'.

Bad/poor sex often leads to this misconception. Self-repression often leads to bad/poor sex.

I don't know about that I'm 1 month and 3 weeks from having my first son from having 'overrated sex'.:)

You could interpret that as a bad thing, you know.

Sex for reproduction and sex for pleasure are two different things.

Listen to CGP.

the sexbuddy is a myth.
Sex and emotions cannot be separated in the long run.

If bringing life into this world can be looked upon as being bad then there is no good to be found in this life. There is nothing better than bringing a life into this world and knowing that you had a hand in it.

A hand, eh? You don't get kids by doing that, you know

Manjula: For you, maybe.

Has anyone actually said that reproduction is looked down upon?

Well we wouldn't have had sex for a while anyway. Not that I wouldnt be up for it, but I know she wouldnt.

I was practicaly in love with this other chic about 2 weeks ago, and she claimed she was too. But then like 2 days later she came to me and told me that she really didnt want a boyfriend right now. Aparently I was too much drama or something.

So now anyway when we see each other in the hall and stuff we dont talk anymore, and she tries pretty hard to avoid me. Its getting better I suppose.

Things like what happened two weeks ago just seem to happen over and over with me, I just cant seem to find someone that i could seriously 'go out' with. And its also really anoying in HS, because 'going out' with someone is as good as being on a stage in front of all her friends, analysizing your every move. And then ofcourse after its all over, not only will the girl not talk to you anymore, but their friends wont either.

So.. yeah, thats why I dont want to date her. Highschoolers just suck to date .

Also:
Angrychild I really like and agree with your point. But why is it that girls almost always run the show? I've seen girls try to fit me into the mold of 'trying to get in their pants' or 'after them'. Whatever happened to two people being attracted to each other and deciding to go out? Thats how I was trained to do it. Sometimes it feels like im in a physcological mine field, just trying to keep my dignity with these chics.

It's not worth it buddy. Just get a fleshlight.

high schoolers shouldn't have reproductive organs.

Attention Gideon: a.cc Post of the Week, right there.

Death: You're being too narrow minded. (<-- that can be misquoted as you will) If you consider accidential pregnancies, then they can be considered bad.

Oh, there can be plenty bad about it. I'll be the first to say it out loud: Some people should not have kids, and should be shot for bringing kids into this world. This mostly applies to really stupid people or others with severe genetic deficiencies that would otherwise make the world a worse place by breeding.

Okay, that link I posted just above works now, so click it for a slightly off-topic dose of sarcasm.

And I agree with Manjula's first post.

I agree completely. That would make life so much easier. And yet, you don't get more ehem permanent effects of a more drastic approach.

X-G: Well, I agree. The topic didn't occur to me. But I think I have more of a problem with parents who can't raise their children more then ones with birth defects. Especially ones that don't discipline their children properly.

That's the type of people that shouldn't breed. A child is a huge responsibility. I'm positive that it takes more commitment to raise a child than anything else done before in your life.

Raising a kid is easy. Just change your entire life.

Extinguishing a couple of thousand/million lives and knowing you had a hand in it?

The world is overpopulated already. We don't need more breeders.

Why am I still amazed by these threads?
It's like a bunch of stand-up comedians in a room and then somebody throws a catch phrase at them....

It's definitely not an actual fact. I know several people with "sex buddies", and have had a "sex buddy".
People view sex differently, and not everyone has the same view as you two

Chris Katko: Manjula's first post was the following:

She was speaking for herself, but applying it to everyone, as far as I'm concerned.

More like "red-neck comedians", who commonly tell the same punch lines again and again. (Read: other threads).
And why do you sound just like one of those supposed comedians?

Few things are. But it's true in 99% of cases, like it or not. Judging from your post, I don't think you quite understood what she means ...

And I would like to point out that 30π% of statistics are made up on the spot. (30 pi)

...of the people you know. Depending on the zone, social status and education many people can agree or disagree with Manjula.

It's funny how we always know "other people" who have sex buddies, yet it is a feat yet to be accomplished by yourself/myself.

... Now read his next clause.

Uh, no. Everyone that I know. And pretty much have ever talked to.
I'm told by those who might know that a woman who can have a purely sexual relationship and not get attached (a "true ho") is a very very rare thing. And that does seem a lot like common sense. You wouldn't feel betrayed if your SO cheated on you? Jealous if she left you and was sleeping with someone else? People kill over this stuff. "Sex and emotions cannot be separated in the long run" is, AFAIAC, a very true statement. "Sexbuddies" are a rarity on par with Bigfoot.

If you have feelings for them and it's not mutual, they may well run the show. On the other hand, if they have feelings for you and it's not mutual, you can run the show. I don't recommend you do though; just be honest, because it's easier on everyone in the long run.

CGames, how did my pi taste?

That might be biasing you towards the belief that everybody is like that. In my circle, everybody have sex before marriage, some of them with their SO and some of them with their sex buddies.

yes, but... we're talking about a sex buddy, that by definition is not a SO.

What about prostitutes? Do they fall in love with each client they have?

entheh: I liked 94.2477796% of it

I wasn't basing my statement on that fact. I didn't even mention it until you implied it.

Sorry; by "SO" I was just refering to any "special someone", like a gf. I didn't mean a wife.

Who said love was the only emotion? Prostitutes that have to deal with a lot of emotional damage are not exactly unheard of ...

When you say

That is obviously not true from my point of view, I get to the conclusion that maybe you are not stating an actual fact but your opinion.

I know. But a sex buddy is not that special, is just a friend you have sex with. You keep relating 'sex' with 'feelings'.

You're right .

Young, intelligent, attractive, and desireable guys are probably not the ones who need to get done by prostitutes.
So really, prostitutes have sex with the nasty men, that can't get any unless they pay for it. And they have sex more for the money than the pleasure (if there is any pleasure in getting done by an old nasty horny dude that is).
So no, they wouldn't fall in love with their clients, because their clients are disgusting.
Sex buddies on the other hand... The two people involved probably find each other attractive to begin with... Do you know people who have been sex buddies for a very long time? I don't, because someone's feelings always seem to get in the way.

That's (more or less) the point, yes. Someone who is truely a "sex buddy" is a rare individual.

That's the point: I say that true sex buddies are not that rare. But let's stop arguing, no one is going to convince the other.

Anybody can become a sex buddy.
Being a male, it's our balls that help us see through this and realize that we have a responsibility to uphold to our society and not go around fscking every other person that shares the common urge for sex.

Thus relationships were created.
Unfortunately not many people in the media at least share the flair that was once ever so common. It has become hard to find an individual female that shares the witty and foxey soul that takes to build a relationship on.

Or I'm just made of bullshit.

Yeah, that's right. Our balls are what make us NOT go around fucking people.

Sex buddy != sexual encounters with strangers. By definition it's someone you know (a friend/buddy).

Surely you agree that testicals are a good source of all those wonderful hormones, no? These hormones are not just associated with sex.

Right; I'm not talking one night stands here.

I just did some VERY quick research, and I think the testicles primarily produce testosterone, responsible for sex drive, while the pituitary produces oxytocin, responsible for attachment.

Kanzure, do this. Problem solved.

Of interest to read might be http://drivetheory.org/destiny.html, which describes the "Three stages of love"

Not narrow minded just covering a base that I assumed may have came up later in the thread. I understand that your previous comment due to my comment could be interpreted in a number of ways. The way I interpreted it was to mean I made it sound like I had sex with some girl and carelessly got her pregnant and ready to give birth by having overrated sex:). But everyone knows I'm happily married and can't wait to be able to hold my son Caleb Matthew Weaver in my arms:).

Well, I didn't, and the statement threw me off until I realized what you were saying

tentacle sex!

Is that a request?

it is known that women have "vagina dentata", why not add slimy tentacles as well.

I had to leave for a few hours
Here's my input.

I've never heard of a sex buddy that lasts for years.. but I've definitely heard of sex buddies that last for months. They do in fact exist, despite what you may have heard.

Mine lasted a couple weeks, then she got a boyfriend. We never did anything together but have sex, after the first time. We didn't even kiss fully clothed.

A friend of mine had a sex buddy who was a previous boyfriend, and she was with him purely for sex for many months.

However, another friend had a sex buddy for two days. Now they're a couple. I'm sure most physical relationships either never begin, or end this way.

What did you mean by that?
99% of what cases? Cases where people have sex?
If that's what you mean, then of course 99% or more of sexual encounters are with lovers.
What manjula was saying was that the 1% did not exist. It was a myth. That's just plain untrue. There's written articles about it, books (not specific, but referencing it), and all sorts of things.

In saying "it's a myth", I agree with her. In the sense that women who are into geeky stuff and yet really good looking and, even more, you have a good chance with, are a myth. Sure, statistically they must exist. But don't count on finding one.

Funny.
I've found one of those, too..
Though she has a boyfriend.
We were having a discussion about the Zelda's the other day. She said Ocarnia of Time was her favorite, but she owned them all and loves Wind Waker. We also talked about which Final Fantasy was the best, and we agreed on 7.

Anyway, it's not rare enough to be called a myth. Either of those examples
I'm sure loving your employment, getting along with every single one of your co-workers and having awesome fringe benefits at you job is also a myth? Woops.. guilty!

(now I'm just gloating...)

Stated criteria included "you have a good chance with". Still a myth!

Hey, I didn't say I didn't have a chance with her.
I said she had a boyfriend.

.. we need an evil smiley.

Consider this. Everyone is a sex buddy, wifes/husbands/gfs/bf/etc. That person is used for sex since you naturally think you should be getting some after a while.

Yea, I'll have to disagree with that myth, as well.

Marcello

Opps. I quickly looked over the first page but didn't see it.

Man, this thread has... changed. But don't worry! These changes are perfectly natural and happen to every thread at A.CC. Timmy, don't forget that some threads change sooner than others.

Also a real issue, and probably far more common. I think I would especially think of teens having kids (which is a really bad idea, no matter how you look at it), but there are many, many others who can't responsible raise a kid.

But really, the world is overpopulated. The last thing we need is more of them.

Well for an on topic (now off topic) note, she called me today (well its after 12:00 now, so yesterday) and said she had to talk to me. But we were both busy and wont be able to till monday.

I'll see how it goes I guess. Its cool that she called me though;D.

Testimonial: I had a sex-buddy for more than a year; not bad, but in the end she got too neurotic about it. I tried to stay friends with her, but it didn't work out

-You're kindof in a twilight-zone between friendship and relationship, and it can get to feel pretty bizarre at times - I think it's fair to say women have a harder time than men separating sex and love in the long run, which is only natural

There's a Reason most one-night standees never meet eachother again

to X-G:

Ok, this is really off-topic, but whatever...

Well, in fact the world isn't really overpopulated; demographic situations are just very unbalanced... there certainly are a lot of regions that are overpopulated (middle Africa, India...), but on the other hand there is a big birth deficit in most european countries (a lot below two children/woman) and, as far as I know, to a lesser degree also in America and japan, though I don't know exactly about that, so you could say, that those regions DO need more of them.

I have also read that world-wide population growth (not the population itself right now) is actually going back and will probably come to a halt in 50 years or so...

Roland Moritz: No, the world really is overpopulated, in the basic ecological sense.
The people who claim the world isn't overpopulated are the people who mean it in the sense that "if we bulldoze all the mountains and chop down all the forests and jungles, we can theoretically provide food for x more billion people! Yay! Extinction of species and depletion of resources is fun!".

Riiight. Unless smallpox or the spanish flu show up again and save the day, or HIV becomes much more deadly, we're going to continue to breed like cockroaches for the foreseeable future.

Oh, and on topic: sex buddies aren't uncommon at all (just for people like us ). And there's nothing wrong with it, as long as both parties are in agreement as to what the relationship entails.

Ok, I expressed myself unclearly: The World IS overpopulated, you are absolutely right on this, and it will become even more so, but this is also a generalisation and you have to differentiate between so-called third world countries and industrialized countries; it is stupid to say "the best for us all would be not to have any children at all!", which was in effect what X-G did. Yes, it would be a good thing if (for instance) the african or indian fertility rate declined; but if european countries will continue to have such a low reproduction rate (with the exception maybe of france), it will end in an economical and cultural disaster. And of course one would have to find alternative energy-sources and return to a more natural lifestyle, otherwise the industrialized countries simply won't be able to afford a bigger population (or the rest of the world will have something against it...). I am NOT one of the people who want to bulldoze any mountains or whatever, I don't know where you have that notion from...

About my statement concerning the growth of the world population as a whole: UNO has made a long time projection up to the year 2150. Since this is a very long timespan, there are different models, depending on how the situation will change. And one model in fact says that it might be possible that popoulation grows to 7,7 billions in 2050 and starts to drop afterwards, to a minimum of possible 3,6 billions in 2150 (this is of course only a projection, but I never said that it definitely WILL be like this).
UNO-Projection (in german)

Ok, I don't actually want to talk about this any more since it really doesn't belong here, I just wanted to defend myself against what gnolam said...

You suck at reading. First of all, I never mentioned overpopulation; second, I said that some people should not have children. This mainly goes for really stupid people or people with serious genetic defects, as well as those who can't responsibly raise a child.

You are right, I misread. I apologize for that. But I already talked to people who stated this opinion, and I wrongly assumed you were one of them.

The global economy would suffer the first few years, but after that a mass death would probably be a huge boost to the global economy and culture, like with the Black Death in medieval times (the plague, strange as it may seem, was probably the biggest factor in catapulting Europe into a region of prosperity, culture and (relative) civil liberties). The only thing that would probably collapse outright would be government pension systems (hey, pyramid schemes are illegal for everything... except retirement plans )...

Oh, and I don't trust the UN with anything on the topic of human populations - they are after all the morons who made "free procreation" a fucking human right.

Hehe...yeah, you're right, except for the little fact that I don't find the prospect of being part of a mass-death very appealing, but apart from that...and of course the UN can't be trusted blindly, but then again I just wanted to state WHERE I read what I was talking about, not that this is a proof for anything...