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Better Social Skills
X-G
Member #856
December 2000
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I'd really bloody mind it, yes. I mean, what the hell? It's uncomfortable enough when, like, the clerk at the store try to talk to you. I wouldn't respond to some random dude on the street.

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Rick
Member #3,572
June 2003
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What has changed in the past 50 some years where we went from everyone knowing your neighbors and talking to everyone, to people hardly talking to their neighbors and hating it when random people talk to them? Not pointing you out X-G because that's really the majority of society these days. Is this social evolution?

[EDIT]
It almost sounds like de-evolution (?)

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Actually I think I'm a tad ugly, but some women disagree, mostly Asians for some reason.

SonShadowCat
Member #1,548
September 2001
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Social interaction is no longer needed for a "healthy" life. Where once real contact and conversation thrived, it has been replaced by the internet.

Rick
Member #3,572
June 2003
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I still think it's needed for a "healthy" life. Even if you don't think you interact with people you still do. Maybe a store clerk talks to you. That's intereaction. Maybe not much but it is. Someone should do an experiment where they don't see another living soul for x number of years and only use the internet to talk to people.

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Actually I think I'm a tad ugly, but some women disagree, mostly Asians for some reason.

HoHo
Member #4,534
April 2004
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Quote:

However, try not to be THE listener who only replies with "aha", "I see", "yes", "no" because then you're a shrink. I did that misstake ages ago and I became sorta the local priest among my friends. In the end they were telling me stuff I really didn't want to know, just because I was a good listener.

That's me :-/

Fortunately I have a gfws* that is quite a bit like me. We go out together sometimes and often have situations where neither don't know what to do or say. We both know we need to practice our social skills so at least we both have someone to practice with. Funny is that we talk way more in IM. Probably because we both spend way too much time with computers :P

*) If things will continue as they are I think she'll be upgraded to gfwos. There are lots of hints of that happening ;D

__________
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
MMORPG's...Many Men Online Role Playing Girls - Radagar
"Is Java REALLY slower? Does STL really bloat your exes? Find out with your friendly host, HoHo, and his benchmarking machine!" - Jakub Wasilewski

Rick
Member #3,572
June 2003
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gfws*
gfwos

??

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Actually I think I'm a tad ugly, but some women disagree, mostly Asians for some reason.

Trezker
Member #1,739
December 2001
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http://www.free-hugs.com/
Don't hug people, just carry something that says you don't mind being hugged.

You shouldn't worry about awkwardness, it passes quickly if you just deal with it at once. Just like jumping into a lake, the cold only lasts a moment.

ImLeftFooted
Member #3,935
October 2003
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Learn how to make good jokes. Then you'll have too many people liking you.

But maybe thats trying too hard...

Hard Rock
Member #1,547
September 2001
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Quote:

gfws*
gfwos

Taking a random shot in the dark here:

with sex
without sex

Even if it's not right, it almost makes sense.

[edit]
you sure you don't have those backwards :p

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Hard Rock
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Rick
Member #3,572
June 2003
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Quote:

upgraded to gfwos

That wouldn't be an upgrade though :)

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Actually I think I'm a tad ugly, but some women disagree, mostly Asians for some reason.

ImLeftFooted
Member #3,935
October 2003
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I just start conversations with everyone around me all the time. I think I make friends through sheer numbers.

If 1 in 10 people aren't weirded out by random people talking to them at the bus station then I just have to start conversations with 10 people.

A lot of it depends where you live. If you live out in the middle of america all you have to do is sit there and you'll meet the whole town. If you live in the middle of a big city, well, you're screwed. People from cities can be so cold...

I hear people in Texas are really friendly.

[edit]
The trick is to not take rejection personally. Its not meant personally anyway, how could it when they don't even know you?

Hard Rock
Member #1,547
September 2001
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Maybe they are at that point in the relationship? ;)

_________________________________________________
Hard Rock
[ Stars Dev Company ][ Twitter ][Global Warming: ARA My TINS 07 Entry][Pong Ultra Website][GifAllegS Ver 1.07]
"Well there's also coolwebsearch but we'll let that be an IE exclusive feature" - arielb on the New Browser Plugins "What's better, HTML or Variables?"

SonShadowCat
Member #1,548
September 2001
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Quote:

If you live in the middle of a big city, well, you're screwed. People from cities can be so cold...

It's not that we're cold, we've just had busy days with all the stress and crap. It's not easy on the mind to hear gunshots, police sirens, trains screeching, people fighting, etc etc and then turn around to speak to some random person.

HoHo
Member #4,534
April 2004
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Quote:

Taking a random shot in the dark here:

Right about everything but the "s".
Man, I'm feeling old. It wasn't that long time ago when the question rose last time.

__________
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
MMORPG's...Many Men Online Role Playing Girls - Radagar
"Is Java REALLY slower? Does STL really bloat your exes? Find out with your friendly host, HoHo, and his benchmarking machine!" - Jakub Wasilewski

Rick
Member #3,572
June 2003
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I'm still lost.

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Actually I think I'm a tad ugly, but some women disagree, mostly Asians for some reason.

23yrold3yrold
Member #1,134
March 2001
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"s" == space. So "girl friend with space" and "girl friend without space". Geez, you just get the Intarweb or sumthin'? ;)

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Step 1. Build it.
Step 2. Pray.

Onewing
Member #6,152
August 2005
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Story time!

On my first and only visit to the Big Apple (keep in mind, I come from the country-turning-into-city area), I stayed at a Hotel across from a Subway restaurant. I decided I wanted to eat there that night, so I walk over at 8:30, order my sandwich and realize I forgot my wallet. I tell the clerk, "I'll be back in five minutes tops, just got to go to that building across the street, literally." I ask when the shop closes and he says 9:00PM. So I run back to my room, grab my wallet and get back to his shop by 8:43. The doors are locked. I'm confused, so I knock on the door. The guy makes a gesture like he can't hear me and continues to sweep.

Now I'm just mad.

So I take my money over to Blimpie's a block down and grab an identical sandwich. Coincedentally, they close at 9:00PM as well. They let me in and we're really nice. I took my sandwich and went back to the Subway restaurant. I bang on the door and hold up my bag of Blimpie's with a big cheesy smile on my face. Perhaps it wasn't the best come back, but it sure felt good.

I told my wife the story and she said, "please try not to get shot."

And here's an unrelated story. The next day I went to Central Park. I was looking out over a random, small little lake when some thirty-something's couple comes up to me and ask, "Hey, do you know how to get to so-and-so." I don't know what compelled me to do this, but I said, "Sure, just take the road down there, until you get this sign, then take a left and you should see it no problem." I then left in the opposite direction I sent them, considering I had no idea what they were talking about or where it would possibly be.

I guess I'm just a jerk. ::)

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Solo-Games.org | My Tech Blog: The Digital Helm

Richard Phipps
Member #1,632
November 2001
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Quote:

I guess I'm just a jerk. ::)

For the directions.. yes. :|

Onewing
Member #6,152
August 2005
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Quote:

For the directions.. yes.

Heh, guess I was trying to be a New Yorker...

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Solo-Games.org | My Tech Blog: The Digital Helm

SonShadowCat
Member #1,548
September 2001
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Stop making us look so bad T_T. We give very directions usually, unless it's a fat woman( it's been shown we don't give directions to them as much...). But granted, I'm sure anyone would like to be a jerk in those situations since it's so funny.

Billybob
Member #3,136
January 2003

Quote:

A survival guide for people with Asperger syndrome [autismandcomputing.org.uk].

Cool, that was helpful. Now I have to worry about making between 1/3 and 2/3 eye contact :P Being anti-social sucks balls. Oh well, it's all good.

nonnus29
Member #2,606
August 2002
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Quote:

It almost sounds like de-evolution (?)

No, it's a fact that the composition of the US has gone from mainly rural living to more people in urban areas. Like me, I grew up on a farm, now I live in a 'big' city. Back home I knew everyone and their reputation, here I don't know anyone. That took some getting used too.

Derezo
Member #1,666
April 2001
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Get a good job at a small-medium business (5-20 employees) with social aspects to it. You'll be forced to catch on sooner or later.

I was once very anti-social and fairly shy. I didn't speak unless spoken to, ever. After working in tech support for a year and a couple years worth of playing poker things changed considerably. Plus my lip-sync's played some role in reducing my shyness.

My workplace has worked very well for encouraging the growth of my social skills. Everyone here (I'm at work) is easy to get along with and it's a very "team oriented" environment. Plus my boss is really cool and gets us involved in lots of social activities. For example, yesterday we closed the office at noon and went bowling (all paid for by my boss, including the 48oz of beer I consumed there), then went back to his place for a BBQ and played some pool, and had some more beer. I had a chocolate martini for the first time, too ;D

"He who controls the stuffing controls the Universe"

Billybob
Member #3,136
January 2003

Quote:

Get a good job at a small-medium business (5-20 employees) with social aspects to it. You'll be forced to catch on sooner or later.

Yeah, I moved on campus :P It's just that I'm an impatient man and while I'll probably "catch on" eventually, I'd rather spend the remainder of my college life enjoying the social aspect. Rather than spending the time building my social skills only to be done with college and missing out on those years :P
Of course I realize it will always take some amount of time, but with effective knowledge I can speed the process up considerably.

Quote:

Plus my lip-sync's played some role in reducing my shyness.

And brought joy to the world ;D

kentl
Member #2,905
November 2002

Do you go out drinking? If not, then you should. Alcohol is a way to get a bit more social for most people. That is if you consume the right amount of it. :)

I "made" this myself so I have to show it off:
http://www.allegro.cc/files/attachment/590303



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